What Falling Up The Stairs at the Movies Taught Me

Tonight I went to see Ted with my friend who has requested I use the pseudonym Big Booty Judy when writing about her. (I am amused, but haven't decided if I can separate its porn connotation.) Consider this post a trial period.

Fuck you, Thunder...

Anyway, to make a long story short (too late) today hadn't been going so well as I pretty consumed in my own pity party: I woke up with backpain, the only jobs I am interested in are out of state, so I will be moving, I sent out many resume/cover letter combos today, I'm still in a long-distance relationship, not where I wanted to be career-wise in my twenties: at this time last year I ran a company and now I rarely wake up before than 10am, I injured my cell phone, my car is making a funny sound, I found out that shitty kid Justin Bieber drives a $300,000 car and I haven't managed to pay off my student loan, Chicago is becoming a more dangerous city by the hour, my stocks have plummeted, I got a rejection email from a job I thought was a sure thing and the beer I drank last night made me gain two pounds. Whew, I know, call me a wambulance. I let the minutia get to me.
Author's Note: I doubt Justin Bieber knows what minutia is. He does dance about, though.
So, as Big Booty Judy (I don't think this name is going to work out) and I go to buy our tickets, I realize I left my wallet at my house and do not have money or my license. Fail. BBJ buys the tickets. She also buys me a diet pepsi to cheer me up.
Now, that I have become an indentured servant (I am Irish, after all), I must carry the tray with the two drinks and food items into the movie theater. No problem.
Lost in my own head, running through my bitchfest of complaints, I ascend the stairs with my oversized purse and full tray. I interally decided my life is in shambles and I scold myself for letting this happen. I have become a failure. This is not where I wanted to be at my age. The list goes on...
Then, I completely eat it: falling up three stairs, dropping the tray of goodies and my purse went flying. The movie theatre was at half full. And it was a slow motion fall, but I couldn't stop myself.
The funny thing is, as I laid dramatically on the ground, I didn't feel an ounce of embarassment. I didn't care if anyone was pointing and laughing; I hope it makes their day, I thought. The tray was in its upright postion, food untouched, BBJ's cup of cheese still and unspoiled. The drinks had landed on their sides, a small amount of liquid had spilled out but the straws were not touching the carpet. My purse was wide open on its side, but nothing had fallen out. It was kind of perfect.
In this instant, I knew this was a sign from the Universe telling me to get the fuck over myself. Nothing bad had happened, but since I am stubborn I literally needed a physical sign to get me out of my own head. It was a hard shake. My life is not over, it's not bad or Victorian-era biopic worthy. It's just a little rough right now and I need to buck up and get back on the motivation train. Complaining will get me nowhere. Solutions and hardwork will move me forward.

I stood up and continued up the stairs. BBJ lightly rubbed my back: she knew I was having a bad day. I moved to the center of the aisle and sat down. BBJ and I took our drinks/food off the tray.
Once I had raised my drink up to my lips--and BBJ had done the same--we turned to look at each other. And burst out laughing.
Hysterical, shaking, crying laughter that continued for over a minute.
Lady J: Dude, I fell up the stairs.
BBJ: Yeah, you did. Only you.
My mood was lifted and I honestly felt better after faceplanting onto the movie theatre stairs than I had walking in unharmed. My left ankle is even a little sore and I don't much care: it will heal.
So, for those of you out there who are freaking out, unhappy with how your life "turned" out, missing or looking for someone special and thinking your life is in shambles, have faith. It's probably not as bad as you think it is. You just need to take a moment and gain perspective.

Motivation speaker Anthony Robbins (one of the few who I don't think is full of shit) theorizes that whatever is on your mind is, at that given time, is the most important thing in the world to you. You have decided to give it all your attention and therefore it's all you can process. Don't give something as untangible and subjective as your own perception of why you're not perfect cloud your mind. Or worse, just succumb to your paralyzing fear of unknown. Focusing on painful problems does not produce solutions for the better. It's like asking a homeless man how you can become rich.

If the sun rise tomorrow, you get a second chance to fix whatever you think needs fixing. Plain and simple. Breathe and try again. Your life is not ruined and everyone is struggling with something.
So now as I type this, with my left ankle elevated and iced, I am in a better mood than I have been in days. My life is going to be ok as long as I remember to not dwell on the negative and focus on solutions. And work towards those solutions, no matter how many people laugh at me or tell me I won't succeed. I don't mind, so they don't matter. In the immortal words of Annie Lennox: but this little bird's fallen out of that nest now / I've got a feeling that it might have been blessed / So I've just got to put these wings to test

I loves me some Annie Lennox

Tomorrow, be positive. If you think of a negative, hurtful thought, force yourself to think of a positive one. Focus on solutions, not the problems. I also implore you to do something, one thing, that you are afraid of each day. And tell me what that thing is below, in the comments section. I want to hear from you! If that sounds like too much, do it at least once a week.

Here is My Fear Action: I fell in front of a group of people and didn't care at all. In fact, I heard two girls laughing at my incident behind me as I validated my parking and genuinely laughed. I didn't care nor felt ashamed. If they are petty, that's their problem. Fuck 'em.

I wish you well. Calm blue ocean. We're going to be ok,

Lady Jean -- my first name is Jean, I feel like sharing that with you today.

LadyJ is a writer and Chicago Cubs' fan whom can be found at: http://ladyjwanderlust.blogspot.com or on Twitter at @LadyJWanderlust

Copyright © 2012 Lady J All rights reserved


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