What Happens to Me When I'm Not Perfect?

Do you struggle with trying to be the perfect woman?

I do.

Like most that struggle with perfectionism, I know it’s wrapped into my ego and insecurities.  I consciously know that I need to lighten up on my expectations of myself, but in execution it can be difficult.

This morning as I was getting ready to have coffee with girlfriends before heading into the office, I put on a grey skirt, top and my grey stockings.  Seated with my friends in light better than my bedroom, to my horror, I realized that I was wearing my forest green stockings instead of grey.

I sat there debating whether or not I would say anything.  I was also calculating if it would be quicker to drive back to my house or to the closest drug store to buy the right color.  I finally fessed up to my mistake; one girlfriend said she noticed and it looks great matching the suede on my boots.  She thought it was intentional.

My other girlfriend who is younger said “You look so 80′s with the paisley skirt and short boots, the stockings make it fun.”  I’m thinking ‘Who wants to be fun at work?’  She continued on with ‘I know you like that solid color look, but have fun with it’.  Now I feel old!

I took their advice; partly because I needed to get to the office for a meeting and also there was no drug store on my direct route.  As I was driving to my office, I was rethinking their comments and just laughed at myself realizing that I don’t even know what perfect looks like.

How much time do we waste on our illusion of perfectionism?  It doesn’t matter if it’s our personal image, dinner table setting for the guests or making sure we have all our t’s crossed before turning that report in at the office.

Over the past years, I work on setting more realistic expectations for myself.  For what happens is that when I strive to achieve Super Woman status I don’t hit the mark I set myself up.  This typically results in emotionally beating myself up or creating more work for myself.  Case in point is the extra trip I was willing to make to buy new stockings.

Today was a great reality check on the fact that I have not lightened up on my dress code for myself.  My girlfriend was right!  I should have fun with what I’m wearing.  As I was walking to the office from the parking lot, I told myself ‘Okay, let’s have some fun today.’

I was pleasantly surprised that the fashion police weren’t called out as I walked the hallways.  And I found myself having fun with it.  There were times I was focused on task at hand when my eye caught a glimpse of the green; I just smiled at myself from ear to ear.  Perhaps I am beginning to lighten up!

Debbi Dickinson

Founder|Stepping Into Joy, LLC

For Women who Want to Thrive Where They are At and Nurture Their Inner Goddess

 

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