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Life has been strangely good even given all that is going on in life.
Allow me to update first then move onto what I am doing to assure I do not take a dive into depression like I did this time last year.
First, mom is getting a long great. She has finally adjusted the care center and is good with staying there. I get out a couple of times a week and Phil and I go over Sunday and take her little dog Harley with us. Mom loves Harley to come visit and she proudly holds his leash as I push her around the care center, and she makes sure everyone we pass in the hallway stops top meet and greet and her little bundle of fur. It really is so sweet, and it is such a joy to see her having a good time in care center. She has even made two friends, and given that they all 3 have Alzheimer’s makes it quite interesting to listen to them talk. It is so much more fun to go out and visit her now that she is accustomed to the environment.
Next is an update on my Phil. Phil is on radiation for the tumor in his esophagus area that is inoperable. He will have radiation until March, and then have a six week break before beginning chemotherapy. He’s not in a lot of pain, but swallowing is becoming uncomfortable and I am preparing our menu to include soups and stews as it becomes more uncomfortable for him. Today, in the mail, he received a knitted cap from his mom to wear when chemo begins. It is extra special in that it is the last thing his mother will ever knit, which just makes it all the more special to him. Phil’s mom has congestive heart failure and has no longer has energy to do anything at all. All-in-all, Phil is doing well and is so optimistic that he will beat this cancer once again. He will not let the cancer win. No. Way.
What have I been up to? A lot. In October 2011, when we learned of the return of Phil’s cancer I was at a place where I was finally recovering from the severe depression that hit me when we had to place mom in the care center, and I would no longer be able to care for her at home. I did not want to go back to that place and recognized that I needed to do something for myself. I had to get out and meet friends, and develop my life. I had to do this for myself. I stumbled upon Meet-Up (meet-up.com) and found a couple of groups to join. So far I have been active in 2 groups and I enjoy both of them so much. I made some good girlfriends and I love meeting up with them.
Background: Seattle Freeze. Are you familiar with the term Seattle Freeze? I have spent the last 9 years as the poster child for the term Seattle Freeze. Here is the urban dictionary’s definition of Seattle Freeze:
1. A phrase that describes a local public consensus that states the city of Seattle and/ or its outlying suburbs are generally not friendly, asexual, introverted, socially aloof, clickish or strictly divided through its social classes, thus making the city/ area difficult to make social connections on all levels.
2. Its not that people here are unfriendly, they will hold the door for you and wave you into traffic and stuff like that, it's that everything is maddeningly impersonal. The attitude is "have a nice day, somewhere else". It's easy to get along but making friends is almost impossible. People will say they want to hang out with you sometime and look at you like a freak when you actually suggest something. People enthusiastically say they are coming to a party then don't show up. People are flaky and hard to pin down. Girls lead you on for weeks and snub you with no explanation. People are insincere. Norms of social interaction don't apply here. Most people don't like or dislike you, they're totally indifferent. Every interaction will be maddeningly superficial.
I was a bit leary about going to my very first meeting back in October, but I did go. Everyone was so welcoming. Six other women were there and every one of them was friendly, nice, kind, fun to be with. My fear vanished and I have attended
