The Newtown Tragedy and What I Will Say to Our Three Young Sons

I keep going over what I am going to say to my boys about today's tragedy in Newtown when they get home.

I am raising three young men. 
When something like this happens it is nearly always a man who has done it and I cannot help it, I am human, and I think about the gunman's mother.

I think about what pain the person had been inflicted with while they were developing, not that it is an excuse. 
What lessons the parents missed teaching. I think about losing your son. He was her little baby in a hospital gown getting that first picture taken.

He was someones baby too.

The guilt that she didn't raise him to know that there are other alternatives. Did she try? Did she try and get him mental health treatment?

Does she even care?

I know how your hands can be tied when a family member doesn't recognize they have a problem.

Now her son has killed other peoples babies.

I am running through the points I want to make with my boys tonight.

My sweet boys that one day will be men.

Sometimes people are sichk and sometimes people have brains that are sick.

Some people never learn to express their emotions without hurting others.

That man probably was hurt himself at some point.

It is NO EXCUSE. It is, however a reason to be kind to one another.

If he would have been told when he was young that there are people who would listen and help him reason out his problems, people that would have helped him endlessly in order to prevent an outcome like this, maybe he wouldn't have thought this was the only choice to make.

I am going to make sure that you know as you grow up that anger and violence will get you no where.

Violence just breeds more violence.

Choosing to not react can be harder than reacting...and far more powerful.

You are in control of your anger and emotions.

If you ever think that you aren't then you know it is time to ask someone for help.

You know better. Your mother has loved you and raised you to know. I am telling you right now, you don't ever hurt people. No one is ever justified to hurt people.

Remember that there ARE INDEED people that can help you if you ever feel helpless. Remember how terrible this outcome was and how much better it would have been if he had asked for help, instead of resorting to violence.

If you have to ask a dozen people before someone helps you, you keep asking.

Someone would eventually have found him help. People would have helped him move mountains to prevent this tragedy. It was lazy and sick and he is now a monster.

When you hurt people for revenge that is what you are, a monster.

I love you and love the person you are becoming. 
I am sorry that things like this happen. I wish I could take it away and you would never know that such horrible things happen.

Let's try and learn something about resolving our feelings without hurting others.

The people that were lost today would want something good to come from the sadness that their families are feeling. Let's try and be a little more understanding of others.

Let's remember that not everyone has a healthy heart and not everyone has a healthy mind.

I am so thankful that we have both and let's keep everyone that was affected by this in our hearts and prayers.

How will you wrap your head around this with your own kids? I don't think I could have if they were home when I found out. It took me a long time of staring at my computer screen. I cannot watch the reports because of them interviewing children and the swat teams beside the children is gut wrenching.

I worry endlessly about conflicts between the countries of our world.

I have no control over history, religion or the turmoil that has strained relationships between nationalities for centuries.

I can only raise three men. I will do my best to make sure they have been told that violence is never the answer, asking for help makes you a real man and to show kindness to others because you haven't walked in their shoes or slept in their beds or cried their tears.

-Abbie,   allthatmakesyou.com

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