What If?

 

Do you spend your life asking yourself “What if?”

What if I had gone to that Ivy League university?

What if we had more money?

What if I had told her I was sorry?

What if we had a bigger house?

What if we had another night together?

What if I hadn’t lost my job?

What if.

The problem with “what if?” is that it often faces the wrong direction. It’s turned around backwards and filled with regrets. We can’t do anything about life in that direction, except turn the fuck around and go the other way.

What is.

That’s where we live.

We learn to love who we are, what we have, appreciate the world when we spend a minute or two with “what is.” Of course, it can also suck. Sometimes, the present hurts, but that’s alright, because the present has a friend who’s a bit of a party animal.

What next?

That’s what keeps me going. The world of possibilities. I don’t have to be locked into my past or my present. I can focus on what my future holds. So far, I like what I see.  

Leah has been writing at Califmom since 2004. She homeschools her two children and has recently become a widow after losing her husband of 15 years to cancer.

 

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