What if breast isn't best?

I tried and tried to breastfeed with my first daughter, but just couldn't produce enough milk. I wrote about my experience at Craving Fresh:

http://www.cravingfresh.com/2011/08/when-breast-is...

In the end, my midwife and lactation consultant both recommended I introduce a bottle. I gave both breast and bottle for the first four months, until my daughter started refusing the breast (I was completely dry by then anyway).

It upset me so much to introduce formula, because the natural books I had read condemned it so much. Two years later I'm wondering why I worried so much about formula. My daughter is an absolute delight - healthy, intelligent, articulate, full of life.

In some ways I'm glad this has happened, as it's given me more appreciation for the struggles mothers go through. I think we beat ourselves up way too much over things like this, when really, it's all gravy compared to the importance of raising children who are loved and cared for.

"studies have shown that if women breastfed for at least 16 months over
their lifetime, the incidence of breast cancer might drop from 6% of
women to 3% of women"

I wrote about it here: http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/10/10/save-your... ( http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/10/10/save-your... )

PhD in Parenting - http://phdinparenting.com ( http://phdinparenting.com/ )

I have read a lot of these posts and scanned the rest, and see a lot of people debating the breastfeeding benefits for the health of the baby, but what about the effects on the mother's body? I breastfed both of my daughters (now 10 and 14) and remember that one of the reasons was also to help myself-- I had read several times about research showing that women who breastfed their children had decreased risk of certain cancers, particularly breast cancer.  What is the word on that these days? 

Patricia Allbee, www.uncoolmom.com ( http://www.uncoolmom.com/ )

Hi Morra,

I remember reading this post but hadn't commented back then. But now that I've actually met you and your beautiful baby, I thought I would just give my two cents.

I've always worked full time outside of the house (with some telecommuting) and I did breastfeed both my children exclusively well past one year. This does not mean that all women should or can do this. I was fortunate to choose a nearby daycare so I could nurse at lunchtime and a clean private bathroom to pump during the day. I've always felt that breastfeeding was easier than bottle, nothing to clean up, just pop your breast back in your shirt.

I really miss those days and I hope you treasure your days with your baby! There's more on my breastfeeding story on this post here: http://www.blogher.com/breastfeeding-and-weaning-i...

Angela at mommy bytes ( http://www.mommybytes.com )
BlogHer Contributing Editor in Mommy & Family Cribsheet

As a former research psychologist who's very familiar with child-related studies, a blogger dedicated to getting the truth to parents about scientific evidence, and the mother of three breastfed children, I have been amazed over the past decade that parents do not hear how small the effects of breastfeeding are from study to study.  Yes, studies have documented numerous benefits, but they tend to be quite small, especially for full-term, healthy babies.  I've been writing about this for several years on my blog - and waiting for someone to say it in the main stream media.  Of course it comes from a journalist and not the researchers and scientists who've known this for years and just haven't gotten the word out. 

 In addition to the hysteria (hysteria being disproportionate or unrealistic assessments of risks/dangers) over peanut allergies I would add our hysteria over the inferirority of formula (or the benefits of breast milk).  Perhaps the most dubious of the much-discussed effects is IQ.  The recent Kramer study the Atlantic article discussed has been repeatedly referred to in the media as evidence that breastfeeding increases IQ.  It is the most awkward study and set of analyses I've seen in a major journal in a while.  Kramer's a respected, prolific researcher but that study came out of a larger project designed to get at a variety of breastfeeding issues (funded in part by WHO, that obviously has a goal to increase breastfeeding in impoverished nations where clean water, and thus, formula, is a much less desirable option).  I think it's disingenuous of him to imply this is solid evidence - the study has some major flaws, and I'm not just referring to inconclusive evidence.  His comments in the article are perhaps the most humble ones he's made on the subject.   

The American Academy of Pediatricians should rethink their breastfeeding recommendations.  I completely agree women need support breastfeeding if that's what they choose and can do.  I think employers need to make it easier for women to breastfeed.  But very few women achieve these goals.  Some, perhaps because they don't care to.  I also think a lot of women might not breastfeed so long (and be fine about it) if they knew the real benefits.  As for the AAP, to decree exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months, and some breastfeeding for one year, that stretches the evidence we have about breastfeeding.  I think it's a real disservice to women.     

http://mommadata.blogspot.com/

First of all, Rosin's so-called "research" is flat out false.  She should be held accountable for spreading lies and misinformation to unsuspecting mothers.  She's a bitter woman with an axe to grind.  If she wanted to leave the house, she should have done so and spared us this article.

Second of all, it is one thing to not be able to breastfeed, but it is quite another to say that because you weren't able to, that all the sudden it's not important anymore.

Why would a mother who has tried so hard to breastfeed, unsuccessfully, then go on to support formula feeding?  If it didn't matter to you, why did you try so hard to breastfeed to begin with?  Perhaps you really weren't that committed?  Any good LC will tell you that most supply and allergy issues can be solved with the right support and determination.  Many of us don't know that though, so we think we failed.  Not surprising considering how many med-pros discourage our natural birthing abilities throughout the entire birth process as well.

I was unable to breastfeed my first, but that doesn't mean that I'd go around saying that formula was just as good and that it really didn't matter.  Formula is NOT as good and the research shows that it absolutely DOES matter for many reasons.  I'm happy to say that I've been breastfeeding my second (while working full time and going to school full time) for 10 months now.  It can be done.  It was important to me, so I made it happen.

It is one thing to not want to breastfeed, or be unable to, but it is quite another to go around saying that it doesn't matter anyway.  We know that's not true. 

The Feminist Breeder
http://thefeministbreeder.typepad.com/

A large premise of the article was talking about how it's okay to bottle-feed.  Yet I see several comments that are doing exactly what most of us cannot stand:  insinuate that if mothers don't commit to breastfeeding that they're not fit to be parents; that they're too lazy to be parents.  Whether we breastfeed or bottlefeed, feed them chicken nuggets or grilled chicken breasts, organic or "regular" produce does not matter.  An example of mothers (parents) that don't care, or are unfit, are the ones we hear about on the news where a toddler is found wandering a rough neighborhood, filthy, poorly dressed, and malnourished while her mother is found passed out in a crack-house.  It's the parents we hear about on the news arrested for physically/sexually/mentally abusing their children.   

Please consider your words before you start bashing other mothers for what they choose as the best option for them/their families when it's obvious that the option they chose is not detrimental to the child.

Quote: "It is impossible," Rosin writes, “to do meaningful, full-time,
wage-earning work while feeding a baby only breast milk for the first
six months (which is the recommendation of the American Academy of
Pediatrics).”
It's a sad fact, but true unless you're able to work at home."

Seriously???  Then HOW do so many of us do it???  I went back to work when my son was 12 weeks old, and he never had a drop of formula.  I did not work from home.  I worked outside the home, 40 hours/week.  I made time to pump - and made sure my employer understood that the law required they allow me time to pump.  I was NOT a zombie - my son slept with us at night, and I barely had to wake up to latch him on to nurse during the night.  It worked out beautifully.  He did not wean until he was 20 months old.

Check out the book "Milk Memos" for stories of lots of other working mamas who manage to breastfeed their babies.

The journalist Hanna Rosin who wrote that anti-breastfeeding article's name sounded familiar. She authored a book that I was curious about in which she attacked Christians and homeschooling and Patrick Henry College (a Christian college that is very conservative politically). I had heard her interviewed on very left leaning radio station NPR (paid for with tax dollars).

Rosin has a history of having strong opinions and sharing them boldly.

I don't have time to read the Rosin article now but I suspect it is full of the typical bunk that the uninformed-about-breastfeeding people have espoused in the past (her opening statement opinion that breastfeeding doesn't have the benefits that people claim leads me to that).

I have a realistic view of breastfeeding and work because I was called back to work a month early with 48 hours notice by my bosses' boss to do an urgent and very important project. We had been struggling with breastfeeding and I had no frozen pumped breastmilk stored and ready. When I went back part time I had to supplement with formula. It is a long story but the bottom line is I know what it is like to combine work with breastfeeding and to have a low milk supply.

Kerry Anne Ducey

 I resent the comment by Casadecruz.  Did you read my comment (many days ago)? I had the time, the energy, the intent, the desire, but IT DIDN'T WORK.  It is not always an easy decision to make and it is not always a natural decision either.  I agree with the Carrie that when that baby says "Hello world," the best plans may be laid to rest. 

And for some moms, yes, it IS that hard; bonding can't happen when mom is in pain, crying and frustrated for many months. 

I realize this may not be the case for most, but my son, whom I did manage to breastfeed for one month before I sat in the bathtub and cried, had asthma and allergies.  My two other children, who were only bottlefed, did not have these conditions. 

ugh!!!  how can we use "poison" when associated with breast milk?!?!  it's just not in my realm of thinking...  and i couldn't even breast feed for more than 5 weeks because of my son's allergies.  but i in NO WAY refer to it as poison.  

 i'm just aghast at the judgment that surrounds this...  it's more than i am willing to even discuss because it's sooooo overwhelming.  

 can't we just STOP with the judgment and let each mother, each WOMAN live her own life, feed her own child as she sees fit?!?!

http://www.mybottlesup.com

The part of this post that disappoints me is saying that breastfeeding poisons the baby. Really?? *Sigh*

 I say it's a matter of choice. I don't care how you feed your baby, but keep the you're poisoning your baby comments out of the argument. On all sides!

http://emsxiety.blogspot.com/ ( http://emsxiety.blogspot.com/ )

 http://onesnap-atatime.blogspot.com/

I'd heard so many horror stories about breastfeeding that I was predisposed and fully prepared to hate it. I really, really was. And then, imagine my surprise when I had a baby and found it relatively easy and completely enjoyable. No kidding, I was (still am!) SHOCKED. Granted, I think a lot of the points made above are correct -- that society isn't set up to fully support it, and that women it doesn't work for are set up to feel shitty about it.

 That being said, I was floored when it was easy for me, because you rarely hear THOSE stories anymore. *shrug*

www.jonniker.com ( http://www.jonniker.com )

I'm a lactation consultant, and have breastfed two children.  Obviously I'm pro-breastfeeding:) 

I do however, work with moms who try and are not able to breastfeed. It is heartbreaking when it doesn't work out and many moms feel guilty.  I try my best to let these moms know they did everything they could.  Feeling guilt over something that is not their fault is what often happens.  I also see moms who try breastfeeding, maybe for several months and it just doesn't "click" for them. They don't like it.  These feelings are real. 

On the other hand I see moms that "try" breastfeeding, sometimes once or twice and stop because, "I have no milk", "The baby doesn't like me.", " I want to sleep".  I think this is why we are not always inclined to believe  a mom when she says, "I don't make enough milk."  These "excuses" are so overused that we tend to roll our eyes at them, but should not.  It is a fact that 1% of moms will not make milk and 6-7% of moms have a low milk supply.  It happens.

I believe that moms who choose not to breastfeed or stop breastfeeding and then try and point out all that is "bad" about breastfeeding or argue with solid research are doing an injustice to all women and babies.  Let woman work it out for themselves. They are doing just as much harm as the pro-breastfeeding people who judge so easily. 

Why can't people just say, " I breastfeed my kids and love it." "Or I bottlefed my kids and feel good about it."

For what it is worth, it is possible to breastfeed and work.  Growing a baby is REWARDING and PRICLESS.

This article is so great for women like me who could not breastfeed. I cannot tell you the number of times I have felt the need to explain my inability to breastfeed to other mothers while I mixed up a bottle of formula.

 When our daughter was born eight years ago, I tried and tried to breastfeed. I could not understand how it would not work. I talked to all the specialists and became a constant phone companion to our local LaLeche consultant. No matter what I did, I could not produce enough milk. Finally, I threw in the burp cloth and switched to formula. For eight years, I felt so guilty that I didn't do enough. Never mind the fact that our daughter is tall, beautiful, the picture of health, and has a genius IQ, I still felt like I shortchanged her.

This past year, when our son was born, I was armed and prepared to breastfeed. I had all the material, a prescription on hold for Reglan (to boost milk production), a hospital grade pump, everything. I would not even allow formula samples in the house. And, I nearly killed him. By the time he was a week old, he had lost over a pound from when we left the hospital and his billirubin level was so high from jaundice, that they wanted to put him back in the hospital. He was weak, would not wake up to eat, and was pitiful. Finally, my doctor insisted that we supplement with formula. I kept pumping around the clock (only getting 1 oz or so every 2 hours). I was exhausted, he was getting very little of my milk, and he was thriving on the formula. So, I quit. Sometimes, it just doesn't work.

People can say it is how babies are meant to be fed (and it is), but sometimes it just doesn't work. Two hundred years ago, I would have needed  a wet nurse or my babies would have died. Today, I have no guilt over it. I have healthy, happy babies, and I do everything I can to make sure that they stay that way.

 Great article!

But since their experience is supposedly the "right" answer-- at least in terms of Mommy Wars -- it feels a lot more judgmental than the alternative.

www.jonniker.com ( http://www.jonniker.com )

You say: "I hate this conversation as its playing out in some of the comments here, and it comes up ALL THE FRACKING TIME, because no one will ever agree. Someone will ALWAYS say "I did it, and so can you!" like their experience is UNIVERSAL and should be applied to everyone unilaterally."

However, that is the VERY issue that many of us are taking exception to. Think about it. The original post was all about how IMPOSSIBLE it is to work in a meaningful way AND breastfeed. The original post posited her experience as universal.

So don't be surprised if people counter that in *their* experience there was a different result.

It's entirely personal AND everyone's circumstances are different. Those who found it "easy" to pump may have had jobs that were conducive to doing so. All jobs are different, just as all PEOPLE and their BOOBS are different.

 I'm breastfeeding exclusively right now, and while it's true, I have the tiniest of newborns and am in the throes of a very challenging time, I would be shocked if my constitution could handle working full time the way I used to (as a journalist, with lots of time on the road and out in the field) and pump. In fact, sorry, I know I couldn't, because many of my assignments required sitting in long meetings for more than three hours at a time. And sometimes I was outside for as many as six hours at a clip. Many of my friends with different, office-type jobs, had different experiences and could make it work. It's nice to say you could never take a job that prevented you from breastfeeding, but realistically, most women don't have that option, as their skills and personal finances may have different requirements. Gawd. 

 I'm lucky in that when I do decide to go back to work, it will likely be from home.  Which is, as Morra said, the best-case scenario for breastfeeding. 

I hate this conversation as its playing out in some of the comments here, and it comes up ALL THE FRACKING TIME, because no one will ever agree. Someone will ALWAYS say "I did it, and so can you!" like their experience is UNIVERSAL and should be applied to everyone unilaterally.  That being said, Morra, this was framed in a way that was constructive and thought-provoking, and as a new mom, hot damn, it made me think about a lot of things, but mostly how fortunate I am to have boobs that work without issue AND the time to manage them with my kid. I wish we could all remember that not everyone is that lucky, and THAT IS OKAY. 

www.jonniker.com ( http://www.jonniker.com )

I appreciate having that additional information! Thank you.

For what it's worth, I didn't totally state my situation in my last post. I did in fact supplement with formula during my son's early weeks as my milk supply was low. It's SUCH a complicated subject.The nurses at my hospital were afraid to suggest we do it, but my poor baby had been crying from hunger for three days. I have another friend whose baby almost died because she didn't realize the baby was starving on breastmilk only -- didn't know the excessive sleep was a sign. She wasn't instructed, didn't have the info on what to look for.

In my case, the MINUTE we gave him some supplemental formula, he became a completely different very happy baby. But because of the Breat is Best campaign, I always felt guilt about it. And I definitely could have given him more formula but did not b/c of fears/concerns that breastfeeding was the only way to go.

I have many many friends who feel guilty about formula feeding -- especially those whose babies spent a week or more in the NICU after birth, and I am grateful for them that this discussion is happening. We all need to feel good about the choices we make for ourselves and the health of our babies.

http://thecalmbeforethestork.com

http://twitter.com/afterthestork 

A child isn't allergic to your breastmilk, per se, but to what YOU are eating. Simple elimination diets can allow a mother -- if she wishes -- to breastfeed a child with food allergies. (I know from experience. My son is allergic to milk, eggs, wheat, peanuts and tree nuts and was breastfed for 22.5 months.)

I also find that bit about "Meaningful work" somewhat offensive. I'm a single (recently divorced) mom who runs a business from her home. It's me that supports my 4 kids, not their Dad who doesn't breastfeed and never has.

I don't get it.

I want to just comment on the one issue and that is dioxin and other pollutants in mom's milk. The same pollutants will show up on cow's milk from which formula is made, and studies show that breastfed babies exposed to pesticides in their mom's milk fare better than their formula fed counterparts.

While I understand the author's point that breastfeeding takes time and that exclusive breast milk feeding is difficult for some, I feel the obligation to point this out. 

I breastfed my daughter for 16.5 months (returning to work after 3 months) and my son for 22.5 months (returning to work after 3 months). I worked 40 hours a week with significant responsibilities at a major metro news outlet.

Was it "easy"? No. Making time for pumping was just something I was committed to doing. I think it was far from impossible.

And nursing at nighttime was soooo much easier than having to schlep down to get fix a bottle. Nothing like having a baby screaming for food during those precious minutes.

The comments here are proving the point of how highly individual this topic is. For some it is easy for some it is impossible. Many fall somewhere in between.

The debate about nursing or not can get more heated and judgment filled than many topics that are discussed about parenting. It seems like the line between education and forcing decisions on people get blurred more frequently than other topics. (Everyone here has been respectful, I'm thinking more about other places this debate has raged online and in person.)

I think that it is best to remember what works for some does not for others and to try to respect the feeding decisions made by other mothers since it is not our boobs and not our babies in question.

Just my 2-cents, though.

I hate this post because all I can think about after reading it is that I poisoned my son by breastfeeding him exclusively for his first year of life. (The quote about Dioxin and PCBs).

I think there are probably a lot of other good points in the discussion, but this tidbit is eclipsing all, and freaking haunting me.

Um... thanks?

http://thecalmbeforethestork.com

http://twitter.com/afterthestork 

It is a serious time commitment that pretty much guarantees that you will not work in any meaningful way.

 Seriously? I am a momma to seven amazing children and have managed to accomplish many meaningful "tasks" in my years of breastfeeding.

Because my children were, and are, my number one priority, I just never took a job which prevented me from being able to breastfeed them.

Women are great at accomplishing goals. If breastfeeding is a goal and priority, women can and will do it.

Okay, the first few weeks of breastfeeding my first son were hard. Very. But once we got used to it? Oh, bliss! Why would anyone think that getting up in the night to make a bottle is easier than rolling over and popping in a boob? I would have thought that breastfeeding at night would be the obvious choice for every working mother. A chance to nourish my baby physically and emotionally while sleeping? Bring it on!

Come on, breastfeeding wasn't THAT difficult for this working mama. And even if it is only a "little bit" better than formula, I want the best for my three sons. And breast is STILL best.

http://www.thingsivefoundinpockets.blogspot.com/

 Yes, breast is best. The medical literature does prove it. And don't you think if breastfeeding transmits environmental toxins that EVERYTHING DOES? Babies who are breastfed are healthier, the mother's risk of certain cancers is lower.  The results are out there just google it, I don't have time to link it, and it is proven. 

Yes, you have to do what is best for you. I don't fault that. Some women do have trouble with breastfeeding.   But to measure it in terms of how much a mother's time is worth?  Why have the baby if you are going to worry about whether or not he or she is going to waste your time by requiring you to take care of him!  This is nonsense.

 Babies are babies for a very short amount of time, and whether you think so or not, that time goes by quickly, and will be over.  You can't get that time back. 

Who says, "Gosh, I should have spent more time working instead of spending time with my kids?"  Once they are older, you can always go back to work.

 I have known many, many women who pumped while working in order to give their babies pumped breastmilk.  It isn't an either/or situation.

But if you are home, there is no reason not to nurse. I nursed all three of mine, they are older now.  They are rarely sick.  And the time spent nursing is among my most treasured memories as a mother.

 Don't cheat yourself out of it due to your own selfishness.  Babies are worth the investment.

 ETA: Don't Tell Me Motherhood Sucks ( http://www.sendchocolatenow.com/2009/03/dont-tell-... )

T

Send Chocolate ( http://www.sendchocolatenow.com )

You can have all the (what you believe to be) best laid plans regarding nourishing a growing baby BEFORE that baby actually arrives and when the time (and baby) actually comes, they can be shot all to hell!

Each child (and breast) is different and there is no way to know how your baby will take to the breast or how you will (or will not) take to breastfeeding until you give it a go!  While I was lucky to have a relatively easy time nursing all 3 of my children, let me tell you - they were all extremely different, which had a lot to do with the longevity of the breastfeeding, whether or not I supplemented, and the routine which worked for our family.

I breastfed my 1st for exactly 1 year.  He didn't mind a bottle once in a while so I was able to supplement if I was away from him (although this was rare) on a "date night" w/my husband.  He was a hungry little guy though and woke at night to nurse, which left me exhausted beyond belief.

My 2nd was a BIG baby!  He ate ALOT at each feeding and was quickly learning to fill his tummy so he (and I) could enjoy sleeping for 5 hours each night!  I had 1 infection while nursing him and although I would have gone an entire year, he was too interested in his big brother and other ways of getting food so he was mostly weaned around 10 months...give or take.

My 3rd...a nightmare in this department.  She would NOT take a bottle, not matter who, no matter what was in it.  She was colicky.  I had to change my diet.  I could not have a bit of caffeine, or dairy.  She nursed until 1 year old like my 1st, but went straight to a cup...never ever drank from a bottle.  She would have scared the you know what out of me had she been my first!

So yes, I understand that breastfeeding is not necessarily "free" in the terms that it is a lot of work for a mom.  But I don't think you really know until you are having the experience...what it will truly be like.  And even if you've done it before, each baby and situation is different.

We're lucky we have more options and support for them than generations before us.  We really are.

Carrie at Stop Screaming I'm Driving! ( http://stopscreamingimdriving.com )

I agree. I'm another Canadian mom on mat leave and I just cannot fathom leaving an infant and returning to work within the first few months. ESPECIALLY if you breastfeed, but even if you don't. Because feeding breast milk out of a bottle is not the same thing anyway. You can read more about how I think Rosin's article might impact the push toward longer, paid maternity leaves in the US in my blog post, Breast Case Scenario. 

Rebecca

Check in with me regularly.

playgroundconfidential.com ( http://playgroundconfidential.com/ )

I birthed 3 children in 39 months.  I breastfed all 3 of them. When I had my first daughter I returned to a full time inflexible job when she was 6 weeks old.  I pumped in the bathroom on my break (there wasn't a seperate facility) and nursed her for 6 months.  15 months later I had my son.  I took one year off with him, while I attended college full time.  I pumped in my car between classes and nursed him for 9 months.  16 months later I gave birth to my second daughter.  I ran an in home daycare at that time with 9 children plus 3 of my own and an assistant.  I nursed her while working, until she was 9 months old.  It doesn't require part time work, flexible schedules, or understanding bosses to nurse your children.  It requires a commitment on the part of the mother and it doesn't hurt to have a cooperative baby :). This decision isn't for every mother...it is an individual decision.  The point of my post is...it is VERY possible to nurse your baby, while working full time, or going to school full time, or while caring for 9 other children and having 3 children of my own under 4! It isn't easy, in fact, no part of parenting has been easy (especially now that I have 3 teenagers)  but it is definitely possible!  

With my first son, I went back to work when he was 6 weeks old. He breastfed exclusively for 6 months, and continued until he was 19 months, the last 5 of which were only once at night. So I pumped at work for 14 months. I worked 40 hours a week, with a scheduled lunch and 2 scheduled 15 minute breaks. I will not disagree that it was definitely a time commitment, and there were many days I wished I could just sit on my break and do nothing, but I felt that what I was doing was best for my son and I pushed through it. I do not regret it for a moment. And my work was quite meaningful. I was not the primary wage-earner in my house, but my job did provide my family's benefits. I breastfed my second son and since I only worked part-time, I didn't have the need to pump as much, and it was still a time commitment, but still not impossible.

So, maybe Hanna Rosin felt it was impossible to work and breastfeed, but that is not the case for every woman. There are many women in my office who pump and work full time, and, like me, they manage. I feel that generalizations like Rosin's may discourage women from even trying to do something that is very natural and good for their children because it then seems more daunting than it actually is. 

I was going to breastfeed my son, then when he was born he spent a few days
in the NICU where they started him on the bottle. After that he just wouldn't
eat from anything but the bottle, even though I tried. So I gave in to the
bottle. And I have to tell you I'm glad I did. I didn't have to pump, anyone who
was around - dad, grandma, grandpa - could help feed him and give me a break. I
didn't have to worry about privacy when we were out. Today he's a bright,
healthy 4 year old and is in the 95 percentile for his height. I don't think he
was a damaged at all by being bottle fed.

Breastfeeding is a choice. If you can commit to it and you love it, do it. If
you can't commit because of your circumstances or you just don't want to, then
don't. Your kid will be OK either way. There's nothing to feel guilty about. 

Mommie Daze ( http://www.mommiedaze.com )

I breastfed my son exclusively until he was about 9 months old.  He actually weand himself at 6 months or so but luckily I had frozen enough pumped milk to last a few more months.  I worked full time while breastfeeding and honestly while I wasn't one of those women who seem to be a natural with, I can't say it was all that difficult for me to balance, especially because I had a good pump and stored milk as much as I could.

My daughter, however, had an allergy to my milk (yes, it's true - I'm not making it up) and as much as I tried, my milk only made her scream in agony.  So we switched to a hypoallergenic formula and she's been fine ever since.

I will admit that formula feeding was easier for me but mainly for selfish reasons.  It was easier to go places and took less time for me to prepare.  Maybe I am old-fashioned, and I'm certainly a Christian, but I do believe we were designed to breast-feed our children.  I'm not saying everyone can and I'm certainly not judgemental of anyone's choice - it is theirs to make.  But I think we are all too busy today. Our schedules leave less and less time for the people in our lives and we cram more and more "stuff" into them so at the end of the day,certain things that should be enjoyed and cherished are mistaken for yet another thing you "have" to do.

Again, it is every woman's choice how they want to feed their child and I don't judge.  Trust me.  I have gotten more disbelieving looks about my daughter's allergy than you could imagine.  But I also think that is just another thing that our society and our culture has managedto steal from us.  A woman who has to work is often forced to formula feed because she doesn't have the flexibility of routine pumping breaks or an understanding employer.

 What's That Smell? ( http://www.accidentalmommies.com/ )

I've never really told that story so I appreciate your positive feedback Morra.  In fact, my business now is to tell stories other than my own (Your Start Up Story) and breastfeeding in far from a start-up story!

I just feel that it is sad that my postpartum was not picked up by my obgyn...it sucked a year from my life and I had such a tough time enjoying being a mom.  I think I'm a pretty intuitive person, but I didn't know I was depressed.  My son is now 15 and I thank God I snapped out of it.  With some help, I could have snapped out a whole lot sooner. 

 I am a breastfeeding advocate if breastfeeding is what's best for the mom and baby.  But, if the mother is not enjoying it, chances are, neither is the baby. 

Kerry Anne Ducey

thank you for posting this!  after my son was born and showed that he was allergic to my breastmilk, i felt like an alien.  NO ONE believed me and i felt completely alone because i don't think breast is necessarily best, as was the case with my child.  

 my blog ( http://www.mybottlesup.com ) was created out of the insane journey we have been on with my son as a result of all of this, but THANK YOU for finally saying what i needed to hear, and what i think so many women need to hear.

http://www.mybottlesup.com

When reading your comments, i'm struck mostly by our gratefulness that choosing how to feed your baby is a personal choice, and whatever we choose is ok.

That, more than anything, is the important message I think.It's our choice, and it's ok!

When I read Kerry Anne's moving account I was struck by the suggestion of her helpful pediatrician- so sensible and enlightened a piece of advice:

"After 4 years, I decided to give pregnancy another go.  I talked to my new
doctor and explained my undiagnosed post partum.  He watched me
carefully.  He suggested that I bottlefeed.  It was amazing.  I never
realized i could love a newborn so much or feel up to visitors after
giving birth.  I loved it so much, I got pregnant again 3 mos. after
giving birth.  Again, I felt great."

Morra Aarons-Mele
www.womenandwork.org

http://flexibleparenting.com/

It's so important to get those voices out there!

 Morra Aarons-Mele
www.womenandwork.org

I've read all of the reaction to this article with great interest. Unfortunately, I think Rosin took her own personal story and personal decision and tried to project it on a whole gender. Some women choose to stay home with their babies and they should be valued too (Rosin suggests that not being "gainfully" employed is somehow less worthy). I also take exception to the thought that working and pumping is all but impossible. I made it work and continued until my son was 12 months old and my daughter was 18 months old.

I do think many countries (especially the United States) need more generous parental leave programs. But I also think that even if leave is provided, employers need to do more to accomodate lactating mothers that do choose to go back to work. As a feminist, I would advocate for choice. Not for making one route or the other route easiest, but trying to make the choice as free as possible for all women. 

There has been lots of interesting discussion of this on my blog too, including my post on why I don't consider breastfeeding anti-feminist ( http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/03/17/the-case-... ) and also my roundup of other posts on the topic ( http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/03/18/the-case-... ). 

Annie

PhD in Parenting - http://phdinparenting.com ( http://phdinparenting.com/ )

My first baby latched like a champ. Too bad my breasts were barely producing any milk. To make it even more fun, I was sobbing through most feedings. After two weeks, when she was still losing weight and the doctor said I could supplement and try drugs to increase my production (homeopathic remedies were no help), or I could quit altogether, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted. I quit. Everyone in my household was happier from that moment on.

(Note: My formula-fed, daycare-attending toddler has been sick about 1/5 as often as her exclusively breastfed cousins with a stay-at-home mom.)

With my first baby, I didn't really have much of a choice in the matter because I wasn't producing milk. With the baby I am now carrying, I have gone back and forth on whether or not I should even try. I was nearly there in deciding not to, and this post has helped me finally make the decision. Formula feeding is the right solution for me and my family.

I have no regrets about not continuing to try to breastfeed my first baby and I have no guilt about not trying to breastfeed my next baby.

Thanks for such a great post!  I've been nursing my son for almost a year now, and have been supplementing with a bottle of formula every evening after a nursing session since he was a month old.  I'm unable to produce enough milk for him, at least by that time of day, and I felt extremely guilty about this for a long time.  But more and more I find articles and posts about the benefits of bottlefeeding, and am not so hung up on it anymore.  I was formula fed, as were 3 of my 4 brothers, and of all of us, it was my yougest brother (who was breastfed) who was the smallest and had more frequent colds when we were growing up (according to my parents).  Not sure if it relates to his being nursed, but it is interesting.

I agree that it's time to stop making women feel guilty about giving formula to their children, after all, like one commenter wrote, it's not like it's rat poison!

And what a great observation about breastfeeding not necessarily being "free."

Thanks!

http://katydidandkid.blogspot.com

Kerry Anne Ducey

 With my first child, i quit my job (teaching) and was resigned to stay home, breast feed, and be a full-time mommy.  Well...things didn't go as planned. Soon after giving birth, I realized that breastfeeding didn't come easy or naturally to some.  I had painful sores, little milk, and little to no support from family.  I continued on... trying; calling the hospital for help and advice, determined to pump through the pain and give my first-born the best of me. 

 I soon began feeling very blue, inadequate and frustrated.  I cried a lot.  The crying didn't stop.  I decided to give up the breast and go to the bottle.  The crying continued.  I had terrible insomnia.  I went to the doctor who prescribed anti-anxiety meds (this was 15 years ago).  The meds didn't help,  When I found myself in the bathtub (not taking a bath, just curled up in the corner) I knew I had finally lost control.  Still, my doctor did not consider post-partum depression, I self-diagnosed it. 

 Without counseling or meds (I stopped taking the anti-anxiety pills), I got through it.  It took a solid year to get on my feet and finally sleep again.  Yuck! It was an awful year. 

After 4 years, I decided to give pregnancy another go.  I talked to my new doctor and explained my undiagnosed post partum.  He watched me carefully.  He suggested that I bottlefeed.  It was amazing.  I never realized i could love a newborn so much or feel up to visitors after giving birth.  I loved it so much, I got pregnant again 3 mos. after giving birth.  Again, I felt great.

 I don't know if my post-partum was entirely due to breast feeding (I tend to think it was a combination of factors) but it surely didn't help matters.  It wasn't what was best for me or for my baby and I am over the fact that I am inadequate because it didn't work.  It's not best for everybody or every "body".

I love this post. It's time to acknowledge that women who do not breastfeed - for whatever reason - are not harming their babies. (My friend Alex Elliot, who started a blog about formula feeding ( http://flexibleparenting.com ) when she was harassed about bottle feeding her sons, always says, "It's not like formula is rat poison! It keeps babies alive!") I was formula fed, as was my sister, my husband, my brother-in-law, and many of my friends, and I like to think that we turned out fine. (OK, maybe I'm not a great example...)

Plus, if infancy is important bonding time, dads and other non-lactating parents should get to be involved, too!

Suzanne Reisman ( http://www.blogher.com/member/suzanne-reisman ), Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender ( http://blogher.org/topic/feminism-gender )
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants ( http://cussandotherrants.com/ )

This is why I think long-term paid maternity leave is so important.  Because juggling breastfeeding and working is hard.  It can be done, but that doesn't mean it's easy, or that everyone will find it manageable.

 I'm Canadian, and we are able to take a full year off with our babies.  It means that we don't have to juggle pumping, or deal with supplemental feeding (if we choose not to).  How you feed your baby is your choice.  But I also think society needs to support new mothers and babies in getting off to the best start.  Having the freedom to spend the early months together is one way to do that.

~ Amber

www.strocel.com ( http://www.strocel.com )

I went back to work part time when baby #1 was 5 weeks old.  Went back full time when baby #2 was 5.5 months old.  Both were exclusively breastfed.  I pumped every two hours while I answered emails at work (I tried making calls, but people could hear the woosh, woosh and got creeped out).  I breastfed for a total of 34 months altogether while working full time for 14 of those months.  It can be done, with a flexible enough schedule and a plan.