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This is an advice column where I'm supposed to answer your questions. But this Thanksgiving, I'm shaking things up in my life , so I turned the tables and asked some fabulous women leaders this question:
What leadership lesson are you most thankful for?
The outpouring of responses made me exceedingly grateful. Not a turkey among them.
Herewith a Thanksgiving feast of delicious wisdom you can savor calorie-free—and use all year.
Saying grace (and listening to it)
Anita Sands last year at age 34 became COO of UBS Wealth Management Americas, and is one of the smartest and best grounded leaders I know. She credits her father with her most important leadership lesson: “common sense is not the common.” Not surprisingly, she then resonated with this advice:
My first boss when I was a young academic really trained me in how to “think”. The first thing he told me was that people who can find the answers are a dime a dozen but people who know what are the right questions to ask are really valuable. So I’ve always tried to employ that skill as a leader – am I asking the right questions, what question is not being asked in the room.
Roberta Voss, realtor and former Arizona state legislator sSays she’s most grateful for this advice: “Listen. Gather input from those in the room and then surmize the group conscience succinctly while weaving your thoughts into the comment. The listening offers respect, the summation demonstrates your understanding, the whole process exhibits leadership.” (I also love that her Facebook page quotes Dr Seuss):
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
Jill Miller Zimon , award winning writer, blogger, and Pepper Pike OH city councilwoman, shared this excellent communication style advice:
I'm grateful for the advice I've received multiple times over the years to drop "I think..." or phrases like that from my speech. Such phrases insert doubt and women often speak or present their opinions in these ways let that make it easy for others to discount them, as if they (the women) are already giving permission to be discounted by discounting the opinion first by introducing it with the phrase, "I think that..." or "I believe that..." when instead we should just be making the straight up assertion. Show confidence in what you want to assert. If people are going to doubt what you are saying, let them find a reason - no need to give them one or plant the idea that they should.
Humor helps
From Jennifer Brunner, former OH secretary of state and founder of Courage PAC:
I have been fortunate to have a long-term "promoter" and friend, a man who has been one of Ohio's premier lobbyists for decades. More than two decades ago, I was frustrated in not being able to effectively obtain the help of the state's longest serving Speaker of the Ohio House of Representatives. I was working for a statewide office holder, but the Speaker was not happy with him. My friend told me, "Jennifer, the Speaker can only be mad at five people at one time. If he's mad at too many, he has too much to keep track of. Eventually, your boss will fall off the list, and you'll be able to get what you want."
In addition to helping me learn vigilance, patience, and timing, this lesson helped me when I became an elected statewide office holder, myself. It translated this way for me: "Work to resolve the issues you may have with people whom you perceive have done you wrong."
A pinch of sage
Ann Veneman is a role model for me. She has held amazing top leadership positions in both public and private sectors. She sits on several corporate boards, served as Secretary of Agriculture, and was Executive Director of UNICEF. Ann gave a whole leadership philosophy in one breath, “I have learned that good leaders provide vision and think out of the box, they recruit good talent and build high performing teams, they welcome input and are good listeners, they are strategic and are good collaborators, and they foster innovation and connect the dots.”
Bonnie Marcus, Executive Coach, Professional Speaker, and Self Promotion Expert (I’ll be a guest on her new radio show, GPS Your Career
