I
got a letter from my love and he gave me his password to go on his MySpace. So
I will try again. I hope his friends write him. He has been so lonely and feels
like no one cares. It's been a year but at least I will be able to say I did
everything that I could. I worked today and it was not the best of days to be
honest. But I really don't want to get into that right now. A man with tattoos
came in a spider web and praying hands. I think the spider web means he has
been in prison or struggled with addictions or problems. And the praying hands

could mean he is Christian or a memorial for someone as well. To him personally
what these things mean I didn't ask he was just a water guy but he was a very
nice person he asked me how I was and said I seemed quiet today. At least he
noticed I was frazzled and not having a good day. I wish I would have asked
about the tattoos but I think his boss was with him. Tattoos fascinate me
because they are silent stores. They tell of peoples lives and loves there ups
and downs where they've been and where they would like to go. There is something
so fascinating about telling a silent story on your body for the world to see
then just writing words for the world to read. I myself want a tattoo. My first
will be a star. I want it on my wrist. I've decided this because I feel like I
am shooting for the stars. I have big dreams and want something more. But my
love is my shining star he has guided my way and always has some nugget of
advice for me that makes me think he is right. Sometimes he knows what's best
for me before I even do. Then this couple I think came in and the guy was lean
and had blonde streaks in his hair and a pierced ear and asked if we had a
garbage so he could throw his cup away and I said yes and took the cup from him
and then he said it was a lovely store and his girlfriend had long black hair.
I think there is something so exotic about long black hair. I like the red I
dyed my hair but in some light it doesn't look red enough but other times it
looks perfect. I will keep it this way for a while longer and then I will be on
to something else and try to reinvent myself yet again. Then this guy came in
and being the dope I am I accidently knocked stuff over and I think he thought
I was nervous around him or something because he told me he was looking for
something for his girlfriend but I was not nervous I just had low blood sugar
and felt like I was about to pass out because I was starving and did not eat
lunch yet and I was frazzled about events that happened earlier in the day with
my aunt. Then some other people came in and called with bad attitudes. And it
seems like negativity transfers negativity. I hate that because then it puts me
in a bad mood until I can get away from it and find some solace. But I came
home and I bought some shorts because I don't have any but I found a pair that
I really like that make me look hot and I feel good about myself in them so
that put a smile on my face. So that's my day. I'm glad it's over it was
exhausting but except for a few bouts here and there it was not too bad of a
day. Oh yes and I read a book today called what looks like Crazy from Charlotte
Hughes. She is a good author the book is funny. About a therapist whose
patients are always doing something to her? One tries to blow her up one almost
runs her over another's boyfriend tries to beat her up and then she is divorced
from a firefighter her ex boyfriend who she works with is always trying to get
into her pants and her mother and aunt are crazy people that collect junk. It's
kind of funny really. But I did enjoy it.