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The Hardcore Truth: What Nobody Tells You About Blogging

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The hard core truth revealed.

When I started my blog over five years ago, it was private and just a place to vent.  There were no pictures, no kid stories, no baking escapades, just words upon words upon words.


If I had known the amount of time and energy that goes into maintaining a blog, I might have ...

Well ...

You'll just have to wait and see.

It's a Rat Race

This is a full-on competition to see who can get most comments, most followers, most page hits, most features, have the most and biggest and best giveaways, etc.  People are wrapped up in those figures, and a drop or decrease in those stats often leads even the best bloggers to wonder if they have done something wrong.

Whether it's fair or not, people do in fact sum you up based on your stats, and that often determines whether or not they make a return visit.

It's Not Free

Some blog domains are free, but some aren't.  Have you ever paid for a new background?  Hosted a contest that offered a prize paid for from your own pocket?  Ever updated your picture editing program or got a new camera or a cell phone with better Internet access or bought a fancy linky system or joined a community that offered an upgraded membership for just a small fee? 

It all adds up.

Time, Time, Everyone's Time

It takes time.  Not only is it time-consuming to create and publish your own blog on a daily basis, but it takes time to follow and comment on other people's blogs.  Which is basically the foundation of building up a readership in blogging.

It is the ultimate paradox, mommy blogging.  Mommies take the time to document and categorize their and their children's lives, and in doing so often take time away from the very thing they are writing about.

Overwhelming Is an Understatement

Blogging can feel like a burden at times.  Especially when it feels like you working hard at it no one is even reading.

There also seems to be an unspoken pressure to keep with the the big bloggers' posting schedules ... often times once a day, and every time making it interesting and beautifully assembled.

When you are not receiving a paycheck (or compensation in general)  for your blogging, keeping up (or even maintaining) a schedule like that can turn into a burden that sucks all the joy out of the blogging experience.

You Better Know Someone

The more famous bloggers you know, the better chance you have of getting your blog out to the masses.  Google even verifies that. 

If Perez Hilton links to your blog, you just went up a point in your Google rating.  If your Aunt Sally (who has two readers) links to you, there probably wont be to many changes to your readership or your Google score.

Ego Trip Anyone?

Writing a blog about yourself and your family seems like a fantastic way to document the trials and tribulations of being a parent and woman (or man, or even pet) in the 21st century.  The reality is, making yourself the focus of your writing causes you to think about yourself much more.  

Life takes on a different slant when you are a full-time blogger.  What used to be a cute story you had to tell Grandma has now been formulated in your head into a five paragraph blog post with pictures and video accompaniment.  Categorizing and summarizing your life becomes the new way of processing information.

It can even take your focus off the moment and the quality of time you are spending with your family.

You also have to get out there and sell yourself.  Social media networkers are masters at this and are some of the best bloggers out there.

You Get What You Give

The more you put into this amazing place we call bloggy-ville, the more you will be rewarded. 

If you invest time into photography and meeting other photographers, you will end up learning more then you could have ever dreamed. 

If you focus on mommy networking and finding other moms with kids the sames ages as yours who are going through similar experiences as you ... it's a safe bet that you will end up being a better mom for it and make lifelong friends in the process.

If you write a blog to document your life, your faith, your heartache and triumph, you will most assuredly look back one day and be thankful for this outlet.

So, to answer the question:

If I had known the amount of time and

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Mrs. Yeater 5 pts

I completely understand preferring an audience of strangers. There seems to be more pressure to right for those who know one personally, as though they might constantly critique and pick it apart. I am the same way with public speaking and performing on stage. I would rather have a room full of strangers than a room full of friends and family, neverminding the content of the presentation.

I love my husband, I love my home, and I love to write ( http://mrsyeater.blogspot.com ).

yaya the writa' 5 pts

Uuuuuuummmm; there are stats? Now, I'm curious. What do they tell?

I was going out to meet myself, but had to stop because
Myself was coming back from there; I wasn't where I was. ~ Yaya

The Bake-Off Flunkie 6 pts

...I'd known what blogging really involved. I didn't even know what blogging was before I started mine. It was supposed to be a way for me to self-market the cookbook I'm writing. I love my blog and the writing and the people I've met through blogging, but my blog has effectively taken away the time I should be spending on my book. I'm still trying to find a way to make it work to do both since I don't think my book will be successful if I don't have the blog.

Thanks for the great post :)

Tiffiny blogs at The Bake-Off Flunkie ( http://bakeoff-flunkie.blogspot.com ).

gfreemom 5 pts

I love this post.

It is oh so true. You reap what you sow!

In my blogging life, I am just under a month old. Despite being in my infancy, I have already shared a lot, learned a lot and met with an enormous amount of encouragement, support and enthusiasm.

There is no turning back.

www.gfreemom.com ( http://www.gfreemom.com )

AmberS 5 pts

I have felt competitive about blogging. Both in terms of other people, and even myself. Can I do better this month than last? Why did more people comment on this post than that one?

I really try to let that go, though. And that's the biggest piece of advice I would give myself if I were to go back. It's about the PEOPLE. The rest? So not the point.

Keeping it real in the suburbs at www.strocel.com ( http://www.strocel.com )

matersum 5 pts

I started blogging in 1999, but back then it was just an "online diary", LOL. :/ But I never took it seriously. I still don't, I suppose, in that I don't spend my days doing some of the things you speak of here. I enjoy what I do do though.

Jenn (@matersum ( http://twitter.com/matersum )) Catch me over here ( http://www.matersum.com ) and often over here ( http://www.facebook.com/pages/Handmade-Cloth-Menstrual-Pads-by-Matersum/123819788237 ).

BlessedSalt 5 pts

I wish someone would have told me to stop holding my breath while waiting for people to post comments! It's not that big of a deal.

I've finally decided that I blog because I love to write and to tell the stories that are stuck in my head.

At the end of the day, if one person reads it or 200, I need to do it for me. No comments needed (appreciated though).

bakingbarrister 5 pts

I'm surprised at how time consuming food blogging has become. Interesting recipes, stories, photos, plating, props, etc. Even though I've only been at it for a few months, my goal is to post about twice a week and otherwise just cook and not thinking about how I'm going to make it all pretty and interesting. It helps me keep things balanced. Plus that means approximately 5 days a week where a meal isn't delayed by my need to photograph everything.

I like stats only because it makes me feel like I'm reaching people. And I like to look at where everyone is from and what network they're reading from (seriously, people you have jobs--WORK!). I guess I'm more curious about my readers than how many I have.

S.

Sarcasm, law, and a whole lot of food: The Baking Barrister ( http://bakingbarrister.com )

Rebecca Miles 5 pts

Oddly enough, I didn't start blogging to make money, gain an audience, or track numbers. It was a communication tool (about a course I was teaching) and a personal challenge to use the technology my university students use (which only seems fair, as I ask them to read the things I read). When the original purpose for the blog ceased to exist, I just kept writing.

Serendipity? Accident? Doesn't much matter to me. I write for the joy of the writing.

And I learn from the writing, just as I learn from the teaching.
http://rmiles2go.blogspot.com/

Redneck Mommy 8 pts

I firmly believe stat counters are the devil to personal bloggers. Or at least, to me.

I uninstalled my stat counter because it was stressing me out and sucking the joy I found in blogging. I became more concerned with the amount of readers I had than the quality of the relationships I was building.

When Tanis Miller isn't writing on her blog Attack of the Redneck Mommy ( http://theredneckmommy.com ) she spends her time beading errant chin whiskers.

LivinLifeinVienna 5 pts

I am just starting to blog, and everything you write above already is ringing true! I love to write and wanted to explore life around my town as a new mom, and thought blogging would be great. But already I'm seeing there are some strings attached. I'd love to hear more about how other women have overcome the challenges to make the experience and outcome worthwhile and not just another "to-do" in the list.

womenonthefence 5 pts

Thank you for this insightful article. It's honest and direct... just how I love things!! ;)

I am a newbie at this, and despite achieving some pretty quick success with my Blog, I totally can relate to the feeling like you're writing and no one's listening! Those comments were like a drug that gave me such a high at the beginning. I still cherish each and every comment.

So, thanks again for sharing your thoughts. I too would do it ALL OVER AGAIN. I'm in love with Blogging. It's been my calling!

Best,
Erica Diamond
www.WomenOnTheFence.com ( http://www.WomenOnTheFence.com )

TheGoToMom 5 pts

What you said was direct and to the point. Thank you for writing such a sharp piece. I enjoyed it and completely agree. I will tweet so others can feel supported.

Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, MFT
www.TheGoToMom.TV ( http://www.TheGoToMom.TV )

feelingbeachie 131 pts

I have only been blogging for 3 months, and when I started I knew practically nothing about blogs. I just wanted to try and write. I didn’t realize how much time I would end up spending reading other people’s blogs, trying to come up a witty comment, all in the hopes someone would then in turn read my blog. I never thought I would be obsessed with seeing how many hits I got on a given day. Also, I never guessed that I would start viewing my daily life differently, almost seeing it as a story, rather than just an experience. But, the best part, I never imagined that I would enjoy it all so much!

http://wwwfeelingbeachie.blogspot.com/

William 5 pts

When you started your blog 5 years ago there was not much information on traffic and stats and marketing and key word searches etc. That all came about in the past 3-4 years because marketers saw such potential in the "hobby" of blogging.

The blogging became a business.

Yes there is a cost and time committment to blogging but there is a cost and time committment to any other hobby, softball, golf, theater. Blogging just allows some people an opportunity to make money from their hobby.

Mom101 9 pts

Thank you for this Leslie! Another Laurie White fan here saying YEAH.

There is a lot of truth in Amanda's thoughtful post, but also I hear so much angst and it makes me a bit sad.

This is a full-on competition to see who can get most comments, most followers, most page hits, most features.

Well maybe I'm doing it wrong but I never felt in competition with my blogging community. No reader reads only one blog, and I think there's enough bandwidth to go around for all of us, right?

Sometimes it's just good to step back and ask "why do I blog?" If you can answer that, your clarity of purpose will follow.

Making millions at Mom-101 ( http://mom-101.com )
( http://coolmompicks.com )

Cool Mom Picks ( http://coolmompicks.com )

Leslie Madsen Brooks 5 pts

I'm seeing a conflation of "best" with "most traffic" or "most popular."

It's writing, people, not junior high.

Seriously--I get that many people are trying to make a living from their writing, and I want to recognize that desire. But I'm frustrated with the ways in which so many people equate blogging success with traffic and cool graphic design and networking and autobiographical navel-gazing. Yes, blogging can be all those things, but it also has the potential to be so much more.

Why pander to keywords and search engine algorithms when you could be speaking truth to power? We need more bloggers like Laurie White ( http://www.blogher.com/how-i-got-fat ) and fewer bloggers anxious to give away free samples of the latest diaper wipes (or an iPad) for better traffic.

If blogging ever feels like a burden or a popularity contest, walk away. Life's too short to feel crappy.

Leslie
The Clutter Museum ( http://cluttermuseum.blogspot.com )

Rachel Medanic 5 pts

The hidden equation in many of your great hidden truths may have something to do with the fact that you are a woman, you likely wear multiple hats, you probably work full or part time, you're likely a Mom, etc.

I've had many moments processing video photos etc. of my daughter thinking- I'm doing this for the Grandparents, but the reality is, I'm taking time from her right then and there.

As for blogging, I've thrown in the towel on...I do it for the practice of my craft, though I can't resist 2x month stat glances to see what countries I'm hitting (some odd goal to get regular readers from every US-state, I don't know..). I also try to keep up to an internal Jones of a certain returning visitor percentage but...as a new Mom, I don't have time anymore. It's hella unrewarding for a fairly consistent blogger of almost 4 years, I tell you. Thanks for a great piece on the pain and toil!

christinajeanne 5 pts

I've been blogging for years on and off. When it starts to feel like a chore I usually take a break from it. Occasionally if I feel like I've written something great I want people to read it. Otherwise I'm just talking about my personal life and yes I still like comments but I'm not obsessed with my blog being popular.

basykes 5 pts

I've been blogging daily for nearly 11 years. In the beginning I cared about all that stuff, but basically I'm writing for me. I have a very loyal, if small (300-400, that I know of) following. I have a domain name, but it's still hosted by Yahoo (formerly Geocities, when I started). I create my own backgrounds and graphics (the theme changes every month) so I don't pay for them. They may not be professional looking, but I like them.

Once in a great while it's a pain to come up with something to write about, but basically this is what I love doing, it's what I'm passionate about, and if I am not friends with all the big names or have thousands of followers or get more than a couple of comments on an entry, so be it. That's not why I started this in the first place.

I write about the ills of the world and about puppies. I write about my grown children and trips we take. I write about memories of growing up in San Francisco in the 1950s.

It is what it is, and I refuse to get into all the stress about having "the perfect" or "the most popular" blog.

But I'm not above a little pimping:
http://www.funnytheworld.com

geekbabe 5 pts

that somebody would have told me how overwhelmed I would be, how hard it was going to be to sit looking at that fresh white space
and work the magic of putting my thoughts into words.

I also wish somebody would have told me sooner
about how much I'd grow to love thinking, creating, connecting with such a fabulous group of women. I'd have started a lot sooner!

Amanda_Magee 27 pts

I knew nothing, I literally started mine 6 years ago because I was living across the country from my folks and my mom had trouble opening attachments. It literally became a labor of love, offering me refuge, insight and joy.
I never let that go. Not knowing about the stats, the competition, the game all allowed me to keep my focus on myself and my purpose—chronicling, reliving and rejoicing.

I am so grateful for the time I've had writing and the friends I've made and lessons I've learned along the way.
Amanda
http://amandamagee.com

minnie 5 pts

I've been blogging for 10 years now and at first I was very obsessed with stats. Now, I almost never look and when I do I'm like, "oh like 5 people read my blog... huh. crappy!" But then, I'm an introvert in real life and I think that just carries over. I don't need to be loved by lots of people, only a few. :)

Minnie

http://www.thankyoufornotbeingperky.com/

SuzannAtTheStardust 5 pts

What a wonderful piece. You nailed it, spot on! I also love the little "I am mommy..." signature at the end, that was adorable.

Peace,

Suzann

Makeup Without Cruelty - a List of Animal-Friendly Cosmetics Companies& ( http://www.mymakeupmirror.com )

gorgona 5 pts

Hi
I write everyday and post at least one story once a day. I feel the same way you do, are people reading my work. Am I wasting my time. Have I created a voice that is appealing to the reader?
Please add me to your network. It would help me get off the ground.

Thank you and best wishes
sValentino
http://mgco4you.com/sValentino/

Barbara-The Middle Ages 5 pts

Yes, yes! You hit the nail on my very own head! So much more daunting than I imagined. But so very interesting. There are great people out there I would never have "met". And -- short of the navel-gazing potential -- it's also an interesting exercise in deciding what you truly do believe in, stand for, and enjoy!

The Middle Ages ( http://themiddle-ages.blogspot.com/ )      Two Friends--different ages, different husbands, different opinions

LanitaMoss 7 pts

Now that I think about it, it is the most fun and challenging job I have ever had and not gotten paid for...well, motherhood, too.

Lanita Moss 

A Mother's Hood ( http://amothershood.com )

Birth by Paperwork ( http://www.birthbypaperwork.com )

amandamae04 5 pts

First, every single word that you wrote in this post could not be more true - thanks for putting it out there! I think we all feel that way from time to time, and what you've made me realize is this; if I would focus on what I'm writing about (my journey to becoming a parent along with my husband), and just let loose, I think that I would enjoy blogging much, much more! I worry too often that I'm just a boring soul that no one really care's to read about what's going on in my life. But I care! Not sure that you wanted me to get that point out of what you wrote, but I did :) Thanks!!

jkaplun 5 pts

I've been blogging for years and it is extremely time consuming, but the relationships you build, the connections you make and the direct feedback you get are amazing. Totally worth the effort!

Love how you summarized the "secret" aspects of blogging.

Partly Sunny 6 pts

I started blogging more than a year ago because I write all day in my head anyway. My blog ended up being a great place to go when my mom became very ill and died. Then a few months ago, I suddenly felt the need to get some more readers, and I went a little coo coo. Now I'm trying to stop worrying about everyone else and just concentrate on what I do best, which is write. If people read it, great. If not, at least the kids will have a hard copy of their lives to show the therapist.

Great article. From my head to your fingers:).

PartlySunny
partlysunnyblog.com

Lucretia 5 pts

1) Don't put any variation of mom, mommy, mother, or mama in your name unless that is ALL you ever plan on writing about. It's hard to get people to look past that word - even if we all know that moms are multi-faceted.

2) If you aren't planning on making money from blogging? Uninstall the stats tracking and never worry about the numbers. Otherwise you'll go crazy thinking about the numbers.

3) Figure out what RSS feeder you're going to use - because you're going to become part of a community

Lucretia (aka GeekMommy) Raising a child in a digital world, still a digital girl

SocalMom 5 pts

I've thought about packing it all in -- especially when it feels like nobody cares. But in the end, it's a compulsion... and it's been a rewarding one at that (not monetarily, but in wonderful friends I never would have met and interesting experiences, all of which have been priceless).

Rusty Hoe 5 pts

I wish I knew that sarcasm and humour don't often cross international boarders. Some people take life very seriously, unfortunately I have a very black sense of humour. Eg wrote a post about missing alcohol now I can't drink due to medications and got advice that I should seek alcoholic counselling, or when I referred to my porcelain lover (toilet during bad medication side effect) and was told not to seek solace outside my marriage. All righty then :)

Michelle Roger writes for Living With Bob (Dysautonomia) ( http://bobisdysautonomia.blogspot.com/ )

injaynesworld 6 pts

I was a TV writer for about 25 years and when that career ended I was burned out and cynical. Other than the occasional rant on some topic to the editor of my local newspaper, I didn't write a single word for almost five years and really never expected to again. Discovering the blogging world reawakened my muse and my love for the writing process itself. To have found an audience has just been icing on the cake.

injaynesworld.blogspot.com

motherofbun 5 pts

I know what you mean. I've been at it for more than five years now. And I've changed blogs, blog names, even my blog handle. It is ever evolving. The ever evolving part can be the agony but also the beauty of blogging. I never thought I'd love it so much.

IsleDance 5 pts

Well, three years into it and I feel like I'm just now understanding how most of it works. And I wouldn't trade this blogging thing for anything. It's pure joy. :o)

One Friday night, I loaded up my life and headed out... ( http://isledance.blogspot.com )

lahanson7 6 pts

Oh yes, I've said this before - I love this post - you always have the best way of stating things.

...I wish I had known not to let SOME people know I even have a blog. Yes, I realize that my blog is public, but even so, I really wish some of my friends/family had no idea I wrote. I'd rather have strangers read....so what if that makes me weird. ;-)

midnightbliss 14 pts

i started a blog over a year ago just for fun but later on, it feels like an obligation for me to post and update it everyday. from that time on, i stopped updating it, because it turned out to be time consuming and sometimes its draining to think about what to write and how to write it well.
i know that blogs can earn you well but i think if i'll be back on writing again, it will be full time, where i could focus and give my full attention to it.

Erin White 5 pts

Of course, I want everything I do to be a success. I wouldn't be a credit to "Type A" stressaholics everywhere if I didn't ;)

But every so often, when it starts to feel like a chore, a burden, a second job, I try to think back and remind myself why I started doing this in the first place.

I started doing this because I have stories to tell, and I like telling stories. I have dabbled in more than a few self-expressive arts since childhood. Whether I tell the story through singing, acting, photography or the written word, tell it I must.

If the stress of production starts to outweigh the joy of telling the tale, I have to try and make it fun again or just walk away and find another outlet. So far, fun is winning :)

Erin

My Mobile Adventures *~*~* ( http://MyMobileAdventures.com ) - Mobile/photo blog | @BellTinkR

The Single Rider ( http://TheSingleRider.com ) - The fine line between "alone" and "free" | @TheSingleRider

jodifur 5 pts

I knew how much I would love it, but also how serious it can be. And then it would become so much more than a hobby.

Jodifur

http://jodifur.com/

http://svmomblog.typepad.com/dc_metro_moms/

http://www.mamapop.com/mamapop/

DonnaFreedman 11 pts

I just started my site about a month ago and have become fairly obsessed with page views. I check the stats WAY too often.
Earlier this week I did a guest post on a widely read personal finance blog. My views went through the roof.
Did that help? No. Now I'm obsessed with whether the rate is slowing down, how I'll keep the numbers higher, who else I could guest-post for, etc.
Pitiful, really.

WritRams 6 pts

...someone would've told me to take it seriously from Day 1.

I first started my blog five years ago to just chronicle my writing. It quickly turned into life venting read mostly by close friends.

Had I taken it seriously from Day 1, I might be Dooce by now. (OK, maybe not, but you get the point.)

Jacqueline Wilson (aka: WritRams) is a writer, blogger, educator, mother and wife. You can find her on her Writer Ramblings blog at www.WritRams.com ( http://www.writrams.com ) writing about a little of everything...maybe even you.