What REALLY Haunts Me These Days

church1Unexplained happenings, foggy cemeteries, dark shadows...these are the stuff of hauntings. However, what really haunts me these days is much more mundane.

They're things like:

-My email inboxes. Gmail says I have 2000 unread emails in my two accounts. Cleaning it all up makes scrubbing toilets sound almost delightful.

-My home office. I actually just rearranged it again and now have a pile of what-the-hell-do-I-do-with-all-of-this crap. (FYI, it's been two weeks and pile is still there.)

-My closet. I have clothes in there I have touched in years except to push them back and forth as if the cuter clothes are just hiding. I'm scared to get rid of what I don't wear because all that will be left will be workout clothes. A girl with no clothes is many things, people.

-My novel in progress. I'm afraid of the process. I add to my manuscript yet I'm not sure if I know if it is truly the story I want to tell. It started out with a character and a time period, but is it about her or her past or where she is going? What do I want people to walk away with after reading it? I have quite a bit of soul-searching to go with this one and I really need change the burned out light bulb in my writer brain.

-The future. Watching the news is by far one of the scariest things out there these days. Between Washington D.C  and the insatiable appetite of all things non-sustainable, I'm turning into a worry wart.

-My To-Be-Read pile. Seriously, it's obnoxious. Either I'm reading much slower these days (I am) or I'm a sucker for a great synopsis (I am).

-Motherhood. Every day I pray I'm not screwing up my kids for life. Did I hug them enough? Did I yell too much? Are they going to hate me forever because I am trying to teach them to be responsible? Do they feel cozy in their own home...or do I make them feel like their walking on egg shells? OMG. I'm doing it all wrong! My kids hate me! Shit like that. And what's bad about the whole motherhood gig is that you don't know until it's too late. Maybe I should be working on that forgiveness thing the most.

-Housework. Ugh. I should be living in a house that actually matches my level of domestication. And that...would be a tent.

So what "haunts" you on a daily basis? 

Thanks for stopping by!

~hal

 

{photo taken in Boston, May 2013} 

More Like This

Recent Posts by Hallie Sawyer

Comments

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.