What’s in a Kiss? The Value of Kissing

Most women AND men want to kiss more than they are. These findings suggest kissing is a valuable activity. But what is the value of kissing? 

Value of kissing in a relationship and sexual connection
Photo by SplitShire

Finding the Best Partner

Kissing appears to primarily be a method to help us identify our best mating choices in the opposite sex.

Human mate selection pushes us at the instinctual, DNA and cellular level to find the partner with the highest quality genes to pass along to our children.

Behaviors that make sex feel good helped our ancestors select the highest quality mates. For example, men who have erections that last the longest have fewer genetic mutations in their genes. Women who are with men who have longer erections have a greater chance of an orgasm with penile vaginal intercourse. In this way, how good he made her feel could help select the best dad, by keeping her coming back for more.

Fertile Women Want More Kissing

Likewise, when women are fertile they desire more frequent and longer kissing, and they view kissing as more important for the relationship. These fertile women may be using kissing and how it feels to subconsciously select the best baby daddy.

Importance of Kissing in a Relationship

In an online survey of people from around the globe, kissing played a subconscious role in mate selection. Kissing was rated as important for the relationship by women, and by higher value participants (e.g. the more popular, socially well ranked people). People with less social status did not rate kissing as very important.

Not surprisingly, kissing frequency was related to relationship satisfaction for most societies.

What Did Kissing Not Do?

It wasn’t really a turn on for most people. In fact it had little to do with sexual arousal overall.

- Dr. E

Science can help us nurture and enjoy our sexual selves. 


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