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Reminders before you read: 1) I've been a kindergarten teacher for fourteen years. 2) I'm a mommy and have been there.
And a tip: You'll probably want to bookmark this one and read it in sections, taking a breather between each one. It's not quite a rant, but there are a few "Hello, McFlyyyyyy" moments that might raise the blood pressure a bit.
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It's been my experience that parents rarely thoroughly weigh the *many* pros and cons behind sending their child to kindergarten early (ages four or young-ish five). At most, they'll pick their own top three of each, several of which may not be the most applicable to their child as he or she attempts to motor through our kindergarten experience. No matter the cons, parents will usually push for an early start.
"Well, he is immature, but it's kindergarten."
"She doesn't separate easily from me at all, but you and I can force her into doing it."
"I'm not worried about how he'll be in high school. I know people say boys take longer to mature, but I don't think it'll be a problem. This is just kindergarten, right?"
"How will she learn to be at school if I don't get her into kindergarten now?"
"How will he pass all the state standardized tests if he's not used to school? Kids need to start sooner now in order to have more practice with sitting in desks, taking tests, etc."
"Well, we thought we'd just start him in kindergarten and see, you know, if you think he should be here, but we're pretty sure he's ready."
"He did great with his babysitter last year and the two other kids she had, so he's going to be just fine in a classroom setting."
"He's only having problems because you're not challenging him enough- when he's bored he rolls all over the floor, hits other kids, and screams at the top of his voice. You obviously don't have good classroom management skills."
My personal favorite: "Kindergarten is free after you buy school supplies. Day care costs hundreds of dollars every month."
The comments and rationale make me cringe because though I acknowledge parents as being experts on their children at home and in preschool/social situations, I'm the expert on what happens in our kindergarten classroom. Regardless of the warm fuzzy feelings toward their own childhood kindergarten memories about which parents wax nostalgic or the hopes and dreams for their singular child's start to school, our classroom is a shared space, not merely the background scenery for one student's future memories.
I'm paid to encourage multiple children to think, explore, and take chances, and I'm paid to meet their very individualized learning needs as they pertain to their public school experience. I'm paid to deliver age-appropriate content and curriculum using best teaching practices while meeting state standards. I'm paid to enrich, supplement, guide, intervene, and advocate on my students' behalf during their allotted time with me in our classroom setting.
I'm not a Sunday School teacher, so I'm not responsible for accurately quoting scripture, leading choral renditions of hymns or producing the annual Christmas manger play. I'm not my students' one-on-one weekend babysitter, entertaining each child's every whim, changing their diapers, and putting them to bed before I raid their parents' fridge looking for cold pizza. I'm not the parent who has to "go all-Walmart" on my Super Stars in botched attempts to modify their public behavior despite the fact that several students each year start kindergarten expecting that they ONLY have to follow directions, respect others and follow rules if adults yell. I'm not a sixth grade teacher, nor an eighth grade teacher, nor a high school drama coach, all very specialized grades and content areas. Early childhood education is my expertise and I know when a child is ready, and when s/he is not.
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Parenting is a rewarding, emotional, and stressful job. So is teaching. Emotionality can unfortunately create tension between a child's biggest advocates. Parents and teachers have to work hard on both sides to efficiently, accurately and politely communicate to interpret the intentions behind decisions that are made regarding children and their education. Reflecting on my own teaching experience, parents have regularly made assumptions about what I think, many of them incorrect:
~If I suggest a child isn't ready for kindergarten, most parents immediately go on the defense: I either don't like their child,
