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What We End Up Saying When We Point Fingers

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Chances are if you caught the news this morning you saw the picture of Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer pointing her finger at President Obama as they stood near Air Force One in Phoenix on Wednesday.

finger pointing

They were both smiling in the photo, but the body language that stands out is her finger wagging at him. We've probably all pointed a finger at someone. As a mom these are not my proudest moments. In fact, I've learned pointing fingers at kids (or adults) doesn't work. It usually backfires. It's almost like waving a mini white flag.

Kids see right through the finger pointing. When I point, I usually am so frustrated that I am unable to say the best words to make my point. And if somehow I miraculously manage to utter the right words, the pointing finger is far too distracting.

Back to the president and the governor. In the age of cell phone cameras ready to snap a photo anywhere and anytime, you would think we would learn the lesson. Photo ops are everywhere. And photos often speak louder than words -- or worse, say the exact opposite of what you really meant to say.

Before their heated meet and greet on the tarmac, I could have guessed the tensions would be high on both sides. I'm not going to get into all the political ramifications of the photo. In a nutshell, the president and the governor publicly disagree over a few things such as border relations. Her tell-all book, Scorpions for Breakfast, even goes as far as to scold the president for lecturing her, and goes on to say the Obama administration ignores the illegal immigration issue because "migrants will help Mr. Obama register more Democratic votes," according to NYTimes.com.

Stop. Rewind. If she complains in her book about being upset because she was being lectured at, I wonder why she thought it was a good idea to lecture with her scolding finger? And this is when I think the finger pointing backfires. Her intended message was probably lost with a hand gesture.

Was her finger pointing in the face of President Obama disrespectful? Did it backfire and make it impossible to get her point across? Or do we just roll our eyes? She is getting tons of press about her finger pointing. And she has not apologized.

What do you think? More on this topic here:

A Frosty Meeting for Obama and Arizona Governor - NYTimes.com

Jan Brewer gets an earful from Obama in Ariz. - CBS News

Ariz. Governor Jan Brewer squares off with Obama - The Washington Post

Jan Brewer 'breathless' after encounter with Obama - latimes.com

Pointing fingers getting out of hand? – This Just In - CNN.com Blogs 

Obama-Brewer tiff fires up cyberspace: USAToday

(Photo: Cell phone photo of TV coverage with post processing by me.)

~ Chris Olson

Writer and illustrator

Momathon Blog: the 24/7 mommy marathon–on two feet or four wheels

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suebidstrup 9 pts

You can't just look at this picture and judge the situation if you don't know what they are saying. From what I understand, he has been very rude and dismissive to her in the past. He has ignored her and tried to silence her. He got off the plane and attacked her about her book. He is very rude and cutting when people don't agree with him. I'm concerned about women being so outraged when another woman stands up for her beliefs and says what's on her mind. I mean really, haven't we gotten beyond that? She has every right to speak her mind - he cannot behave badly and get away with it because he's the President. I agree the finger pointing is not the best idea but she's human. I'm for authentic exchanges of ideas between all people.

Red Dirt Kelly 129 pts

Your post made me think of this: http://media.talkingpointsmemo.com/slideshow/newt-... It's a slideshow of Newt and his various "finger points." My favorite? The "Double Dragon." HA ha!

Allison Cook 66 pts

As an Arizonan, nothing surprises me anymore. From the debacle of 1070 to the recent resignation of a Senator due to an altercation on the side of the freeway with his girlfriend, it's gotten to the point that, when travelling, I hesitate to say where I'm from. Respecting the office of someone you disagree with in almost every way sounds good on paper, but it seems to be only lip service. Remember Rep. Joe Wilson calling out "You lie" during President Obama's health care speech? In earlier days he would have been taken to the gallows for such an outburst.

Governor Brewer has gotten a lot of publicity for her actions toward President Obama, and a huge upsurge in book sales since the finger-pointing incident.

You tell me who won that pissing contest.

SunbonnetSmart.com 457 pts

Allison Cook Your state, Allison, is sometimes the only one that I think has any sense! Stand up tall, you Arizonian, you! Much Love, Fondly, Robin

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Polish Mama on the Prairie
Polish Mama on the Prairie

Oh, and let's not forgive the bomshell that was the signs in her state installed by the Fed. gov't a while ago http://www.examiner.com/county-political-buzz-in-s...

Polish Mama on the Prairie
Polish Mama on the Prairie

Let's be real about this. Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer lives and works at "ground Zero" for this issue while Pres. Obama (who I do support, btw) is not, DC doesn't have the issues of border guards, drug/human/arms/money smuggling, drug cartels, etc., that Arizona has. Btw, I'm not xenophobic nor prejudiced against any groups of people. But the issue NEEDS to be addressed honestly and not for profit or votes, and it's not. I can understand her frustration.

Laurie Sontag
Laurie Sontag

I believe it's rude to do that to anyone. It's insufferably rude to do that to the elected leader of your country.

Patricia Fabian
Patricia Fabian

Definitely out of line and oh so disrespectful. I don't tolerate anyone shaking there finger in my face.

Beth Merenda McKee
Beth Merenda McKee

She pointed her finger and SHE was intimidated by him? Idiot.

Chris Olson
Chris Olson

Great to see so many people with so many opinions commenting on this post. Conversation is what makes BlogHer such a wonderful place online!

Terri Patillo
Terri Patillo

Racist? She's a racist? How so? Please, elucidate.

Deborah Evans
Deborah Evans

That kind of public action usually backfires. No one is talking about the validity of her position, just that she publicy finger-pointed a head of state. Not a good thing. Yes, she was out of line.

Michelle Mears-Gerst
Michelle Mears-Gerst

That is why we are the United States we can speak to our leader like this and that is a great thing remember he works for us!!!

Barbara Romio
Barbara Romio

Rudest behavior, for a Gov., I've ever seen !

Julie Mabee Santopietro
Julie Mabee Santopietro

She could have said what ever she wanted to without the demeaning finger wag...anyone whos ever had that done to them knows all you want to do is grab that finger and break it off..lol Good self control on his part.:)

Aimee Cooper Cantrell
Aimee Cooper Cantrell

While the office of POTUS may deserve respect, that does not mean that he has carte blanche in regards to how he treats people or talks to them. He was upset about something she write in her book and wanted to talk about THAT rather than the important business at hand. If he truly wants to be respected, he should act more respectably.

Leslie Whitney
Leslie Whitney

It's just pointing a finger. Funny how some body language can have huge intepretations.

Margaret Reilly Fegan
Margaret Reilly Fegan

She was responding to him getting on her case when he got off the plane. She was responding to his attack, not the other way around. Granted he is our President and doing this to the office of the president isn't good, but that pretty much went out the window when she has to defend herself, rather than greet him, as intended.

Dana Damico
Dana Damico

"Accosting her?"

Terri Patillo
Terri Patillo

BTW: Obama often refer to former President Bush as "BUSH".

Terri Patillo
Terri Patillo

Good for her! He had no business accosting her in the first place. I'm glad she has a backbone.

Julie Mabee Santopietro
Julie Mabee Santopietro

Terrible display of disrespect. The fact that she hasn't apologized leaves me thinking perhaps she planned the whole thing and knew she was going to do and wanted a picture of it. I also think the fact that Newt when speaking about President Obama always refers to him as "Obama"..never the president..or President Obama. And the kicker is that Newt is often given the respect of the title he held when he was in office.

Amy Pabalan
Amy Pabalan

Regardless of his title, pointing one's finger like that at anyone is rude and disrespectful.

Suzy Aaron Riccon
Suzy Aaron Riccon

Ditto what others have said. That type of classless behavior is a setback for female professionals everywhere. She looked like a harpy.

Lola Dee
Lola Dee

Publicity stunt. Her book sales went through the roof after this photo was released.

Marvelous Marketing
Marvelous Marketing

AMEN, Marla......We absolutely agree! She appears to be scolding him~how embarrassing for women everywhere!

MiMi Dibble
MiMi Dibble

I know there are very very stong feelings about this president on both sides. People love him, people hate him...yada yada. Who cares? I say that you show respect our president all the time. Is it okay for your kids to point their finger at you? NO! Never. At least not my kids. No matter the subject, no matter the validity, you are to show respect at all times. Self control .... just because you feel it or think it doesn't mean you should say or act on it. Act in a way that shows respect to others and yourself. It makes me sick how disrespectful people are to President Obama. And his name is not Obama or Barack, it's President Obama or The President or Mr. President. That Arizona Gov should be ashamed of her actions and embarrassed.

Cathi Walsh
Cathi Walsh

out of line? That's an understatement.

Lori Wampler Moran
Lori Wampler Moran

Yes. Maybe if she was family. But, this was not professional, in any way. And totally inappropriate and and too familial.

Marla Baxter Sanderson
Marla Baxter Sanderson

Or opinion....ugh.

Marla Baxter Sanderson
Marla Baxter Sanderson

Yes! There is no question. He is the POTUS! It shows what a disrespectful racist she really is. It shows that she has such a low oppinion of him that she thinks it is perfectly acceptable to wag her finger. She could easily have patted his head or his ass or spit on his shoe. We have so few women in power. She just gave us all a big black eye.

Melissa McLaughlin Tingley
Melissa McLaughlin Tingley

Whatever her intentions here, this was no win for her. Perry did this to Paul in one of the debates and came off looking arrogant. This makes her look like a harridan and there are already reports that she has lied publicly about the nature of the exchange. She's embarrassed herself.

Dawn Rouse
Dawn Rouse

Do you think if a Black woman was to do this to Bush that certain media outlets would not have melted DOWN? I can't imagine having the poor manners and audacity to do this to any president.

Tiffiny Harmer Felix
Tiffiny Harmer Felix

Yes to what both Rebecca and Kathryn said.

Kathryn Shinn Doran
Kathryn Shinn Doran

Yes. It's the commander and chief, her commander and chief. It is a position that deserves respect regardless of your views.

Rebecca Wolowiec
Rebecca Wolowiec

Yes, whether she likes him or not, his position still affords him a certain amount of respect.