What Will Your Kids Learn About You (or Themselves!) by Reading Your Blog?

I am 19. I started my blog when I was 18, and I don't have children. My parents know I have a blog, but not what the URL is or what it's about (just my life in general.) That is exactly how I want it; it's been secret since I started it almost a year ago, and very few people have the URL that I know. I know that when I read it in 5 years, I'll think "Wow, that was what I was upset about?" But for now, it's a great way to get emotion out, and I think it will be interesting to read in 5 years. Will I ever let my kids read it? Probably only when I'm dead. It's nasty in some places, I curse in a lot of posts, and it's essentially the rantings of a 19 year old girl. Will I let my husband read it? I'm not sure.

Good point!

i am struggling with a reply here. i would want them to know how much i love them through my writing.

It's interesting to read this question and relevant, as many of my friends are now parents.. But when I started blogging, I was a kid and the people I knew were also teenagers. This surge of parent bloggers is a relatively new thing. 10 years ago, you would have asked "what will your parents look about you by reading your blog?"

I don't put anything too embarrassing... my oldest daughter is just starting to read it. I show my kids the pictures I post of them and they LOVE it! As my husband says, its kind of like a fun diary - I print everything and one day when they're older , they'll get a real kick out of it.

I totally hope my kids will grow up and read my blogs about them, I would have liked to have know little stories that would have other wise been forgotten about myself. I don't say anything that is embarrassing, however, I believe that my point of view on their childhood is precious, and I suppose I am doing it more for myself than them...

When I write about my kids, I either change their name or try to be ambiguous about it. I have my memories of my childhood that were formed as a child, and therefore, for awhile, I didn't have the capacity to understand why some of the decisions that affected me were made in the manner they were made...since talking with my parents, and becoming a parent myself, it's granted me a level of understanding that I didn't have for a long time. If my children ever asked me to stop writing about them, I would, but I think it's also important for them to someday have that level of understanding. They may not get it now, or for many years to come, but someday I hope they'll understand that every choice has been made with their past, present, and future best interests at heart. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions...but sometimes hell can be avoided if you understand why that road was paved in the first place. I've been told by my parents and my grandparents (who raised me from age 5), that I'm doing a spectacular job...and considering my parenting goal is to be as good as they were to me, it's pretty lofty praise, and very appreciated by me. I still call my grandmother whenever I have a parenting conundrum.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, the entire focus of my blog changed. It became my way of telling my daughter who I am, the day to day of what it's like to be the mother of a young child, how I feel about what's going on in the world, what I find to be beautiful, and how, at 40, I'm still growing up. I fully intend for my daughter to read my blog someday. My blog is my love letter to her.

This is very interesting concept for me, and one I just discussed yesterday with another writer, asking ourselves this very question.My mother was also a writer, and after her death we found many journals, rough drafts, etc. That none of us had seen or read. Some of it was hard to read - brutal truths about depression era living, abuse, and poverty. Memoirs of life with too many children, not enough money, and alcoholic husband. Difficult enough that some of my siblings simply put the lids back on the boxes and refused to read further. It was too upsetting, to read about things that they had chosen to remember differently. It was too upsetting to learn about about the real woman inside our mother. I on the other hand thrived in reading these things. It was very cathartic experience. I found they only added to my memories and respect for my mother, deepened my understanding of not only her, but the issues that so many strong competent women were forced to deal in an era that did give them the freedoms we have today. It is two way street - proceed with caution? Perhaps, perhaps not.

When I started my blog, I never included any information that would link back to my kids or my family, but as I became more comfortable I started to let little bits out. I blog a lot about my kids, but still call them "my son" or "my daughter" on the blog and usually on Twitter, too.

Both of my kids, since they are 13 and 17, read my blog regularly. I enjoy them seeing me through a different light and we've had some interesting conversations about some of my posts.

I specifically chose not to use pictures of my children, mention specifically where we live, or use their names. I write about my experience with them, but what they choose to share is their own.The space is my own. I would not close it because they asked. I am not writing about them or their perspective, I am writing about mine. God knows that the things I abhorred about my mother in my teens I wish, now, that I could glean some wisdom from as I face those years myself. I would also encourage my children to share their experiences along side mine if they are so move and/or outraged. It would be a great catharsis for them and entertaining read for their children. I know I recognize things in my daughter that I had long forgotten about my own childhood. To read her experiences back when she is raising a young version of herself might give her some understanding and patience.

I think about this too and hope that I am not doing my children a disservice by sharing some about them on my blog over the years (including their real names and photos). I totally respect that you don't use your children's real names, post pictures with their faces and are very careful about what you post about them on your blog. I believe that what I have shared about my children on my blog over the years are things that they will appreciate and maybe even feel proud of when they are older. Its a sort of living history of our life together and our journey to build our family. Especially if something were to ever happen to me and I wasn't able to be around when they are adults and starting their own families, I would hope that they could read my blog and know more about the kind woman, mother and friend I was "back in the day."

My mother wrote weekly letters to her mother when she was in her 20s and 30s. So in some ways (though they are not available online for anyone to read) they were like her blog. I have had the chance to read many of them and I have enjoyed seeing what her thoughts and feeling were when she was pregnant with me and beyond. Thanks for sharing Mel. I am interested to see what others have to say about this and will go take a look at Bringing Up Bronwyn's post.