Is that what you really want?

Today I choose to be happy!  I found out that I did not get the job in the other department of my company I work for.  The supervisor was very classy about it- she did not just send me the Dear John email- you know the one I am talking about.  “Dear candidate –you are the greatest thing since sliced bread.  We thoroughly enjoyed meeting you and talking with you however you are not it!”  I work for the must type like lightning department and we had a meeting in one of the conference rooms upstairs not far from that supervisor’s office.  She saw me coming down the hall and gave me the can I see you for a minute nod?  We stepped into an empty conference room and she let me down easy!  She had a very hard decision, but did choose another candidate.  She has to find the best fit for her department.  I am fine – this closed door just means that God has something better out there for me – and he must have something really cool because this was an awesome job!!

 I found another letter from my soldier in training in my mail box- he had written about 5 different days to conserve paper! He is so funny!  He told me to write as long of letters as I want – he would read the whole thing even if it was 10 pages long- his number, not mine! He has been reading his Bible every night he said and is up to Leviticus!  So needless to say when he is here we will find him a good program to follow so he can read his Bible in a year.  I know the first year I did that was so cool – there was stuff I found in the Bible I had no idea was in there!  It was the coolest thing ever!  I know I camped in Malachi for several weeks - God was teaching me about the importance of the tithe and how you can’t out give God!  Good stuff!! Anyway I am of course working on my response to his last letter!  He has had a chance to make his travel arraignments now so I am waiting for that letter to know for sure when and how he is coming home- whether he was able to get on my flight or even a flight the same day- or if he decided to go to his AIT first then come for Christmas! Time will tell!!

 I am down another 5.2 pounds – which brings my total so far to 17.4 pounds! I feel so much better!  We talked about Thanksgiving this week at our meeting.  What are we going to do about thehigh pointvalue foods? And that got me to thinking again about the first lesson on my Made to Crave DVD – one of the question Lisa brings up- why can’t I indulge? 

 The definition of indulge is:

To yield to the desires and whims of, especially to an excessive degree 

Especially to an excessive degree – that is the part that is the sin.  The meal on Thursday is the one that is so easily over indulged on.  We all wait for things to eat that we only cook that one day- okay maybe Christmas as well but we don’t cook them really any other time.  I think that is why the seconds and thirds and then go back later and make yourself another plate happen to all of us.  It is stuff we really like and don’t get to eat at any other time of year.  Well I have decided that is silly. I like to cook a turkey at all times and have decided to make the other dishes more than just on Thanksgiving.  That way it would not be such a big deal and I will not feel like I have to over eat that one thing because I might fix it next month for myself.  I am going to see about making some of the things to have less points value and then I can incorporate them into my daily menu planning.

 Galatians 5:16-21 (MSG)

16-18 My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?

19-21 It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.

This isn’t the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God’s kingdom.

 Clearly this is not what God had in mind for us.  My past inability to control my food and the way I was self medicating is the sin.  That is the part of my past I will need to make right with God.  Now that I know what I was doing and have stopped looking to food for my comfort things are looking a little different.  I am looking to God to fill those empty spaces in my heart.  The food while it tastes good at the moment is not the fulfilling I was looking for.  And we know that God is a good God- he is full of grace and mercy. 

 Galatians 5:21-26 (MSG) 

22-23 But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

23-24 Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.

25-26 Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.

 It has been part of my solutions to over eat- to think I was doing fine and then go back for seconds and sometimes more if it really tasted good.  At some point it was not even part of being hungry – it was just eating it because it tasted so good. The gluttony part is the sin.  Thank goodness God has shown me what I had been doing wrong and I am now able to keep a better handle on how I eat.  The counting of the points for weight watchers has helped tremendously.  The portion sizes matter, what you put on the portions matter, and how much of what ever you are putting on the portion matters.  This has caused me to take a long hard look at how I had been eating.  Thursday will be a good example.  It is not like I won’t ever be able to eat those foods again.  I can take home leftovers and eat the same thing again.  So that will not be the issue.  I will need to keep a handle on portion sizes and what I actually put on my plate.  I am bringing a weight watcher recipe of the green bean casserole and a nice salad.  I plan on eating a whole lot of salad first then eating the jello salad and the turkey and such.  I am not going to try to sit here and say I will do a perfect job on Thursday- because both my sisters and my mom all are amazing cooks and it will be hard to not want seconds of some things.  I believe though because I am very determined to feel so much better when I go to visit Thomas that will be incentive enough to keep a handle on this day.  Besides it not about the food is it?  It is about being thankful for your family and friends and for the blessings God has given you. 

 So to answer the question we had posed here is I can’t indulge because I really don’t want to.  I suppose technically I could but why would I?  God has shown me that by not indulging I am keeping that area in my life under control as well.  And the more I turn to God instead of food the deeper our relationship is and the more he is involved in my life.  That is so important.  God wants to be involved in all aspects of our lives!  You know something else he just showed me – if I eat the correct portions of the food – it lasts longer and I am able to enjoy it more than one time.  I can have a little here and a little there- count the points and still loose the weight I need to loose. 

I am still learning and getting this worked out in my life!  I am not perfect, no way, far from it.  I am very thankful for God and his goodness, mercy and grace as well as allowing us to start over again and again!  Thank you Jesus!! 

I am praying for you!

Miss Wanda

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