What's It Like To Be A Special Needs Momma?

I don't usually blog about my role as special needs mom, but some things got me thinking this morning.

First let me share with you why I normally don't share with you about being a special needs mom. There's a stigma attached to being labeled a parent of a special needs child. Just like our kids hate the labels because it limits what the world thinks of them, so do the parents. We're often dismissed or marginalized simply because we have an extraordinary child (or 3). Next, I try hard to respect my kids by never sharing too much about their lives. Sometimes living with some of these special needs can be insanely funny, inspirational or annoying, but often those moments really need to remain private within the family. There is such a thing in this life as sharing too much. Third, I often don't think of myself as a special needs mom. Most of the other parents I know in this circle have kids with very dramatic, life threatening, medical special needs. My kids all have the invisible special needs that make it harder to see, even for me. For what it's worth, good or bad, I often dismiss the behavioral special needs as just simply "quirks" that my kids have. I strive to teach them tools to better fit in with those around them, but try to respect who they are and not crush that part of them, after all, it isn't necessarily a broken piece. These children are just as much God's creations as all the other "perfect" kids.

I've often said that I'm one of those Christ followers that God has to hit with a brick before I get the message and today, the brick has come crashing through the window and landed in my lap. Let me just link you up with what I've read so far this morning, then we'll talk about the talk. First it was helicopter parenting, then it was Pioneer Woman's brother stories, then it was all about siblings at Raising Asperger's Kids. As if this wasn't enough I participated in a Twitter Chat for the first time. That in and of itself is super cool, but this group of moms was utterly amazing. Check this group out, The Coffee Klatch. My kids are also being treated to some special awareness training at their school this week provided by Good Friend Inc. Besides all that, I had a real life encounter with the special needs kind this very morning inside my own home. It was a really big brick.

It actually has been brewing for some time, but I've been sort of ignoring it. I've learned over the years that The Little Mr. can become very fixated on things if allowed too. OCD is not a pretty feature. Anyway, the subject came up again last night after school and around dinner time and bed time too. I should have been a little more watchful about it, but again, I didn't want to validate it too much. Even though we have always had a dog, most of our family has always had dogs, and all our neighbors have at least one dog, Little Mr. is often afraid of them. Now, Little Mr. has some issues. His version of being afraid can spiral from a little nervousness about something to all out hysterical panic in about 30 seconds or less. Routines and familiarity are the key to his sanity and his peace in life. Startling him is not a pleasant experience for the startler. In the few blocks from our house to the school are many houses with dogs. He's been startled one too many times on the way to and from school.

Now part of being The Little Mr. is that he is blissfully unaware of his surroundings most of the time. Not quite to the dangerous level, but definitely to the level of space case. Over all, I'm not surprised that he hasn't noticed the dogs along the route and that they take him by surprise. What I've been trying to condition him for is that in life, the unexpected often happens and you often have an opportunity to be prepared for that. I feel like this is an important skill he will need in his independent adult life, 'cause he's going to have one. Ahem. I've been reminding him that he already knows that most