What's Love Got to Do With It?


I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen for a few years. We caught up over lunch. I was horrifed at what she told me.

“My first husband and I were divorced ten years ago. Two years later, I met Eddie.We dated a few months and then married. Eddie earned more than I did. He offered to take care of our finances. He suggested I use his financial advisor and put the divorce settlement I received into the investments his advisor recommended.

“I agreed. It made me a little uncomfortable that Eddie kept all our records. But I didn’t want Eddie to think I didn’t trust him. I asked him to write a new will. The will he had predated his divorce from his first wife. Every time I mentioned it , he’d say I was being morbid. To be honest, I also didn’t want him to think I had married him for his money. He finally agreed to draw up a new will.

“Four years ago, Eddie and some associates were flying in the company plane when it hit electrical wires during a thunderstorm landing . There were no survivors.

“You’re never really ready for something like this. At first, there was the pain and the grief. Then came the anger when I saw what Eddie had set up financially. I never thought this could happen to me. Eddie had combined our money in trusts that would pay me income, but the principal would be under the management of his lawyer who was the trustee. They were set up as pass throughs for his children. There was nothing I could do about it. I was furious.

” I realized I had not paid enough attention to how bitter Eddie was about his own divorce. I remembered something he had said when we were dating. Referring to his ex-wife, he had said, “She’s probably still using the divorce settlement to take this guy around the world”. Suddenly it made sense. He didn’t want another wife to have control of his money if he wasn’t there.

“Remember that Tina Turner song, “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” Good question. If I ever marry again, I’ll never let money and love cross again. “

ADD A COMMENT

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.

Recent Posts by Helga Hayse

Menu