Do you ever question your worth? Are you afraid to speak up for yourself? Do you diminish your self with self-deprecating humor and beat them to the punch you know is coming?
I suspect that we all experience crises of confidence in our selves. How do we move through those moments? Is it just a matter of sitting in front of a mirror and reciting Stuart Smalley's affirmation" "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me!"
Whenever I struggle with knowing or appreciate my worth in any situation I find that a couple of practices work well. One is meditation. Anything where you are able to sit still, quiet your thoughts and breathe. Shutting up those voices in your head that tell you that you are insufficient or that you shouldn't stand up for you. The other technique I find useful is just to listen for evidence that I am worthy (or, really, any question I'm grappling with) and why which often comes during those two great thinking opportunity, epiphany-giving activities: walking the dog or taking a shower. I wouldn't be half the genius I am if it weren't for showers and dog walking.
If showers and dog walking aren't really working for you allow me to share the wisdom of other bloghers.
Jennifer Stoddart at Work In Progress writes of The Importance Of Knowing Your Worth
We know our worth in our careers and our friendships, but why do we sometimes forget our worth when it comes to relationships? It seems that there will be people in our lives that we will fall for who will not completely see our worth, and in their self cherishing ways, will bruise our hearts.... Know your worth, don't ever forget how special you are; and if someone makes you doubt your value or compromise yourself or your integrity, know that you do deserve more than that.
Samantha Smikle at On My Own Writes says:
Whether it's a job, a relationship or a pair of shoes that you can't afford (but you think you deserve)--you have to know your worth.
Terreece M. Clarke at Freelance Writing Jobs & More offers Freelance Writing Commandment #3 - Know Your Worth:
Each day, freelancers troll job boards, contact editors, follow-up with clients and screen offers for gigs. And with each contact we make decisions on our worth. The question is, are you treating yourself with the respect you deserve?... [So] Be a professional and know your worth!
Cesca at On The Garden Wall... confessions of a bad housewife is feeling burnt out, but...
Yesterday at 5pm I realised that I was feeling faint and physically terrible. It took me a while to realise why - I'd been on my feet all day, racing around the place, but had forgotten to actually eat anything all day. Not good.
I've made up for that today, and intend to enjoy my merlot tonight. As that ad goes, I'm worth it.
Nathalie Lussier at Billionaire Woman explains The Difference Between Fulfillment and Achievement:
Real fulfillment is when you wake up knowing that you are enough, you have everything you will ever need (or it will fall into place soon enough). You are filled with joy, with a deep lasting satisfaction that doesn’t disappear with the changing of circumstances. It is something that stays with you always and that cannot be shaken....
How to Get Fulfillment [?]
4. Count your blessings and know that you are enough.
Christy Murphy's blog name and description tell the story:
You Are Enough: The first error is the assumption that you are not enough. The second error is that you can do something about it because it operates under the incorrect assumption of the first error. You are enough. No matter where you are in life, what you did or did not do today, YOU ARE ENOUGH--ALWAYS.
Finally, JLITT62's SparkPeople blog shares this wisdom:
Some time ago I came up with this mantra:
You are enough. You have enough. You do enough. ...
We think we aren't good enough. Not a good enough mother, not a good enough friend, not a good enough wife, not good enough for anyone to ever fall in love with. But you are enough.
And, an Independence Day bonus - three bloggers who are declaring their independence:
Gertiecranker says:
Quick Draw’s advice to me (well, he had several advices on some of his favorite topics—some of you will know what I mean) was to “Get over being a sick person.” He meant, go do stuff! Take my cane, or my walker if I have to, but go do stuff.
I think that’s what Sarah meant by declaring independence. I am no longer a passive sick person. I may limp a little, and I won’t jog the Tart Trail or step dance on the tabletops…but I have a lot of reasons to celebrate tomorrow, personal as well as patriotic.
Lorie Marrero at The Clutter Diet® Blog says:
What if you declared independence from your stuff--forever? What if you could just walk away from everything and start over?
Megan at Free my Brain from Migraine Pain says:
I wish you independence from pain, from fear and from worry!
Comments
New Sun Rising
If we refocus our lives and put ourselves at the center, instead of everyone and everything else, maybe that will enable us to recognize that we are worthy: worthy of being and feeling fulfilled. I don't think that this kind of self-centeredness leads to selfishness, but rather to being centered, and from there we can radiate out in a way that lets us shine, internally and externally.
Laura, radiating from within at www.rebelliousthoughtsofawoman.com
Love your perspective
What a great way to look at things! Thanks so much for your comment, Laura.
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Maria, I Love this
I have trouble "letting go" and am ceaselessly asking, questioning, wondering. At times I know I miss the joy of what is right in front of me because I'm too focused on analyzing the past or my expectations for the future. This simple question reframed it for me. I'm going to try to declare independence from my "stuff" and enjoy all that I am - and what my life is - now.
Thanks, Maria!
Notions of Identity
How cool!
I love that not only did that quote speak to you but that you were able to hear it and apply it. Fantastic!
Happy Independence Day to you, Lara :)
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"I wouldn't be half the genius I am if it
weren't for showers"
"...and dogwalking."
Now THAT is a t-shirt! Thanks for the reminder to start every day by NOT beating ourselves up. I really spend far to much time beating myself up over the things I don't get to, versus the things I've actually checked off the list. Time to breathe......
:)
Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette
Good to take a moment and remember
exactly why we are enough and worthy of self-love. But darn global warming and EBMUD with their drought and water restrictions - I can't spend much time thinking in the shower ;)
Thanks, Lisa - I'm happy you found this useful!
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Great words of wisdom!
For me, it has come slowly and the more I believe I can and I am, the more I can and I am!
www.ClaudiaBroome.com
www.LadiesDontQuitYet.com
www.ToHaveAndToHoldHostage.com
Just like exercise
The more you practice the stronger you become.
Thanks so much for your comment, Claudia!
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Regaining that sense of self
Thanks for the great post about remembering my worth. I've been working on reclaiming my own sense of worth after several years of family health crises. I began blogging recently to do just that! I'm also a big fan of shower therapy!!
My kids attend a karate school where at the end of every class the sensei asks "Who's the Greatest?" The kids cross their arms over their chests and jump up while yelling out "I Am The Greatest!".
Thanks again!
Great ritual
Thanks so much for your comment and you're very welcome - I'm glad this post spoke to you. And cool that you are using blogging to remember your worth!
What a wonderful ritual for your kids. I like that it comes at the end of learning, working and making an effort to grow so it's not just empty ego boosting - they've just proved that they really are the greatest. :) I hope they are able to hold on to that and grow up stronger and more confident than our culture sometimes allows.
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Better Late Than Never
What a great post! It's really hard to reclaim your life, but I got some really good advice from a friend. She told me to, "Get a life!" and start taking care of me and stop worrying about everyone else first!
It's really hard to break the patterns, but the payoffs of knowing your value is worth it!
Good advice from a friend
Thanks for commenting and sharing what you've learned. Congratulations on breaking old patterns and knowing your worth!
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One of the best posts!
Women, like Nature are natural givers that sometimes they put aside their worth, to the point that its ruins our health and mentality.
Its been only a few years ago that I had started realizing my self worth. Part of it is surrounding myself with positive people, people who also believe and respect my worth. I ended a relationship with someone who doesnt value even my tiniest worth and started dating someone who does. Finding that self worth made me a happier, more contented person (and my sisters attest that I look younger too!)
Thank you so much for sharing this to us, and judging the popularity of this post with its number of comments only means that this is a truly a wonderful post!
Brava!
For recognizing your worth and seeking a partner who recognizes it as well. Congratulations and thanks for your comment!
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Sorry, i think so!
Sorry! I think so!...Any woman have not a whort, but all the people have a price.If we'll thinking at whort for a person that live engaged in sameone and there daily activitys, or for a living creature!...This's problem that my way.A present in that climax in all the World, is more proper that a kind of vision , but i lose nothing in my mind and in my hart this:
" MY CERTAINTY" about be live and about to be!...This 's ma properly freedom!
Have a good sunday !
Thanks for commenting
Thanks for commenting and for sharing your perspective. A good Sunday to you, as well!
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Thank u Maria!
My name is "osoleomar" that mean "sun &sea" Do you like it? Thank u Maria and thank u for say me "BRAVA!" You 'll doing encouraging me for communicate with all of American womans.I think that American womans 're very concretes,but the Italian womans 're "ligths" in this Century,they will thinking only successfully life, on following a soapsball...you know...please i apologize for my thinks and my english..Read me again!Have a nice day!
P.S maby ..u're be rigth about the partner...The mans recognize as in basis at whort only!