What's Your Reputation? What's Your Destination?

"I'm still blunt, I'm honest, and yet I reveal nothing."

Very cool! And I agree with you, it's disheartening how quickly we jump to "bitch" or other demeaning terms when people don't present themselves in a way that makes us comfortable.

Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

I have no idea if I have an online reputation. I hope it's not a bad one. :) Like sleeping mommy, I've been told I'm guarded or reserved. (Why does bitch have to follow? I hate that if a woman is not "warm" online or off, she's thought of as a bitch.)

Anyway, in my pre-blogging life, on forums and boards. I was always the quick, sarcastic one, and I've toned it way down since. I'm still blunt, I'm honest, and yet I reveal nothing. That's me in my non-online life, too.

Available Light ( http://kathy-p.blogspot.com ) & Five Dollar Radio ( http://fivedollarradio.blogspot.com/ )

I wish I had seen more of your kind of experience when I started blogging. I was very nervous about using my name and picture.

Thanks so much for sharing your experience.

Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. I would agree that your online persona has shifted as you have changed blogs and that you are much feistier on twitter. I enjoy all your online personalities and hope that I am able to meet you offline, as well!

Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

Thanks for commenting here, sleepingmommy.

And, I get the shy or stuck up thing alot, too. Mostly people sometimes think I'm stuck up when really it's just that I'm shy. I've learned to overcompensate by being overly enthusiastic sometimes and then people just think that I'm kinda nuts ;)

And, I bet your blog readers appreciate your vulnerability and nakedness and don't think of it as over-sharing your personal issues.

Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

Thanks so much for these interesting thoughts.

And I would agree that you come across wackier in person than you do online - online you are what I suspect you are in a classroom - a fascinating teacher. But having sat down with you, a few other folks and several cocktails - I've seen that side, too.

I would disagree, though, that your keen interest in museums is boring.

And, thanks!

Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

Sarah,

I'm smilin' back at you. But I don't shop at either Wal-Mart or Whole Foods.. so you'll probably have to run into me at Target or SafeWay.

Debra
A Stitch In Time ( http://astitchintime.blogspot.com )
Deb's Daily Distractions ( http://debsdistractions.blogspot.com )

When I started blogging, I needed to make a choice - do I use my real name and post a picture, or remain anonymous and create a separate online identity?

I decided to be myself online, because I don't feel that I have anything to hide - the number of skeletons in my closet is pretty average, I think. In addition, like you said, creating and maintaining a separate online identity seemed too exhausting to even consider.

Vered DeLeeuw
www.momgrind.com ( http://www.momgrind.com )

I feel that way, too, that I peripherally participate in several communities but not one core one. And, am also pretty consistent online and off. There isn't anything I can think of that I talk about online that I haven't talked about just as much in real life including at work. I am who I am pretty consistently.

And thank you for the kind words!

For you I would say thoughtful, insightful, kind and deeply human.

Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

Such incredible food for further thought. Thank you so much for sharing this, Nancy!

Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

I started my first blog with a pseudonym but it quickly became the top search result attached to my real name so there went that. But even still I felt a little more free to be a bit more outrageous with the alter ego.

And look forward to hearing what you come up with after further thought.

Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

...because my answer depends on who's asking the question.

I've been blogging for 4-1/2 years and in that time my online presence (so to speak) has been all over the place...in MY mind. Yet I often feel like I'm perceived one way by readers regardless of where I am in the blogosphere. I abandoned what had been my main blog 6 months ago because I felt too hemmed in (boxed in?) by what I felt my readers had determined my online persona was...and it was a lovely one! It just wasn't representative of huge chunks of who I am.

This issue is further complicated for me by the fact that I (now--didn't for years) use my full name in my blogging life, yet go to great lengths to hide my blogging life from most of my coworkers. Not because of the industry I'm in (although that's probably smart) but because of the toxic nature of some work interactions. In other words, I don't feel safe making myself known as a blogger in my own community. So for the most part I maintain dual identities. It can feel alternately limiting and liberating.

I sense that my blog readers perceive me to be WAY more warm and fuzzy than I am. I can be a snarky, sarcastic, impatient b*tch at times. Yes, I'm a softie for underdogs and really do love doing kind things for others, but that's not the sum of me.

It's only recently occurred to me that that's why I've fallen so deeply in love with Twitter. I'm a multi-tasker who's interested in a wide range of topics. Twitter's quick-hit blogging allows me to jump all over the place...from politics...to the arts...to news...to creativity...to travel...to humanitarian efforts...to whatever suits my fancy.

Those who know me in real life might say that my humor is one of my biggest assets. Yet I've learned the painful way that it tends not to translate well in the blogging medium. I've never figured out why that is--maybe my humor runs counter to others' perceptions of me so they don't understand it's humor. Again, that's where Twitter comes through. I feel like my Twitter-tribe 'gets' me and I don't have to explain myself.

The Land of Moo ( http://marilynm.vox.com/ )

Co-Founder of Bloggers for Darfur ( http://bloggersfordarfur.blogspot.com )

And I didn't answer. Because I really don't know what my online reputation is. I'm not even all that sure what my in person reputation is although I have been told that when people first meet me they think I'm one of two things. Either I'm shy or I'm a stuck up bitch. It's not the latter. I promise! I am pretty reserved with people when I first meet them in person, because I'm not comfortable showing the real me until I know someone well and am comfortable with them.

Online? I'm probably the blogger who shares way too much of her personal issues.

Sleeping Mommy ( http://www.sleepingmommy.com )
"If sleep deprivation is an effective form of torture, then the CIA should seriously consider employing my children."

I've always thought of identity as one's affiliations, as in "identity politics." Identity politics gets a person halfway to authenticity, I think, because in identifying yourself with one group or another (or being identified by others with one group) you're less an individual than a member of a group. But being a member of a group is part of your individual identity. It's all so tangled!

I like the idea of online personas or even (gulp) brands. You may try to make your online persona match almost exactly your offline person, but chances are something will be lost in translation. When I think of personal branding, I think of a more calculated, and perhaps less risk-taking, persona.

Offline, I have a reputation for being a bit wacky, funny, and interested in just about everything. At work, my reputation is very much that of being a digitally savvy ideas person.

Online, I come across (except occasionally on my personal blog) as being considerably less wacky and wry. Online I'm an educator and faculty development professional with a keen interest in museums. *yawn*

Maria, I love your "badass" tagline.

Leslie

BlogHer Contributing Editor, Research and Academia ( http://blogher.org/topic/research-academia )
Proprietor, The Clutter Museum ( http://cluttermuseum.blogspot.com )
I also blog at MuseumBlogging ( http://www.museumblogging.com )

So we have identity, reputation, and transparency (how much we disclose - does that include how much others PERCEIVE we are being transparent?)

I don't think the world can ever truly see how we perceive ourselves. But I do think online identity means something pretty specific that is far more than our self perception, at least this is what I'm thinking after mulling this over a bit.

1. Our identity as self perceived - inner life, outer life, the whole magilla, and which cannot be fully seen by another, even our closest person in our lives. It is a construct INSIDE our heads

2. Our external identity - the things we choose to put out in the world for others to see/perceive. How we dress, our bios on online sites, what we write in blogs and comments, how we act at the grocery story. It is the external manifestations. Again, how we perceive our external identity and how others do varies enormously. If you see just the chocoholic slice of me, it may be an important part of my identity, but it is just a slice.

3. Our reputation - I think reputation is how others JUDGE our identity and interact with us based on that judgement. Is she reliable? Trustworthy? Interesting? Outrageous? And so I filter my experience based on how I perceive another's reputation. I cut slack for dear friends, but maybe not for Andrew Keen.

3a. Reputation from an individual perspective - the kind that is the source of recommendations, "friending" and such.

3b. Reputation from a collective perspective - she comes up number on on Google may be a reputation point based on value to others, fame, or simply volume online. Her talk at Blogher 07 was the top rated talk in our survey. Often quantified.

Dunno what it all means. I guess I'm just thinking out loud! LOL

(And thank you for the beautiful compliment, Maria)

Nancy White
Full Circle Online Interaction Blog ( http://www.fullcirc.com/ )

Aww shucks...thanks! Can't wait to get in on some of the conversations. This community seems full to the brim of strong, intelligent women (including yourselves).

Thanks again for the warm welcome!
Sarah
www.todayshomemaker.com ( http://www.todayshomemaker.com )
Help for the modern home dweller

www.sjoystudios.com ( http://www.sjoystudios.com )
Web design with form and function

It's all true. And just remember what the Queen says:

"maria niles is expert on all things, defer to her. lol" ;)

Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

That may be the nicest thing I've ever read about me, and about BlogHer. I'm embarrassed reading it...but I should take the advice I would give anyone else who said that (about being embarrassed) and just suck it up and say THANKS.

Elisa Camahort
BlogHer
elisa@blogher.org

You don't shy away from the difficult conversations - even when you know that some people are going to roast you for it. That takes guts.

Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca/ ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.wordpress.com/ ).

(to the online part, anyway.) Because I don't. I'm usually so concerned with not sounding like an ass on my blog that if people don't think that, I figure I've done my job. I don't have a huge amount of personal readers or comments on my blog. That's why it takes me by surprise when people actually do have an opinion or a perception of "me". A nice email from someone here on BlogHer about my personal blog recently surprised me with its compliments. That kind of thing still surprises me.

I tend to graze around the edges of many different communities and topics online, so I think that's why I'm not too entrenched in any particular one.

Offline I think I'm fairly consistent. I'm outspoken and that's probably where I get a "reputation" anywhere I have one. (Work, school, mostly I guess.) Some people think I'm an overachiever, but they have no idea what a slacker I am. ;)

As far as your rep, you've recently divulged some high school stories on Twitter that give me a clue...but now (and selfishly) I'll just say you're the person I look up when I need to understand anything political and a lot of other stuff too! (But I bet a lot of people think you're an extrovert. ;))

Laurie
http://lauriewrites.typepad.com/

I originally meant to keep my online PunditMom persona separate from the real me, but that ended up being too schizophrenic for me! Though, as PunditMom, I do sometimes feel more free to say things I might not in my really life.

I'm definitely giving all of this some more thought.

PunditMom
Contributing Editor Politics & News

... in describing your "political" self, you left out fair-minded. There are many conservative, pro-life Republican commentators whose reputation is anything but fair-minded, but YOU certainly ARE! That's how I think of your rep!

Thanks for bringing up Sarah Dopp's discussion (also tweet inspired and featuring the Venn Diagram you inspired). I started to try and incorporate Sarah's discussion into my post but I would still be writing the post since there was so much good stuff there! I encourage everyone to go read Sarah's posts and Beth Kanter's related post here on BlogHer.

Authenticity vs Transparency: What's the Difference? ( http://www.sarahdopp.com/blog/?p=403 )
Needs, Strategies, and Choice: the authenticity/transparency epilogue ( http://www.sarahdopp.com/blog/?p=406 )
Transparency And Authenticity: What Do They Mean For Nonprofits? ( http://www.blogher.com/transparency-and-authentici... )

On a related thought (in my mind at least) you (Elisa) are the most transparently authentic person I think I've ever met. i.e., in other words when I met you in person after reading your blogs and interviews of you, you most closely matched exactly who I thought you would be based on what of I knew of you online. To me that indicates radical honesty (which I admire and not only would love to get to myself but would love to see more of online).

I think Jory and Lisa are similar though Lisa is more different online and off. Not because she's not honest but because she is such a good journalist that online that objectivity and reporting comes through more so than her individual personality and opinions. And that the three of you are so honest, authentic and transparent with reputations for being passionate, brilliant, inclusive, concerned champions I believe is what has drawn so many people to this movement and business you've built and helped it grow so quickly. BlogHer's identity and reputation as an organization is to me completely in synch with you as people which is part of the genius.

Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

That's an interesting question Nancy, which remind me of the authenticity vs. transparency question Sarah Dopp had a week ago.

My take on that was that authenticity is what's true and transparency is how much of what's true you choose to share...and the overlap is that choice.

My answer to your question would be similar.

Identity is who you are. Reputation is the pieces of who you are that are observed by other people.

Elisa Camahort
BlogHer
elisa@blogher.org

Thank you thank you.

Your reputation with me Suzanne is frank as can be without being self-centered about it but very grounded in reality, with a dose of humor and don't take yourself too seriously thrown in. (a combo I like, if that's not clear!)

Jill
Writes Like She Talks ( http://www.writeslikeshetalks.com )

As always, you are brilliant. And that is your reputation with me - thoughtful, intelligent, and open to discussion.

Suzanne Reisman ( http://blogher.org/member/suzanne ), Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender ( http://blogher.org/topic/feminism-gender )
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS)& Other Rants ( http://cussandotherrants.com/ )

Does everyone have a bad day file? It's where I store all the nice things people have said about me so that on the bad days? I pull that out and remember. :)

Thanks, Maria.

Jill
Writes Like She Talks ( http://www.writeslikeshetalks.com )

I would say off the top of my head that identity is your internal perception of yourself and reputation is the external perception of you. But now I'm going to be thinking about this all day!

And I would say your reputation (for your intellect, heart, generosity, humanity, love...) towers just as tall online as it does offline and you do physically in person!

Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

I left this comment on your blog post as well...

Thanks so much for the link love!

Very interesting assessment of the differences between online and offline for you. I think you make a good point that online and offline social skills can be very different because there are different ways of interacting and comfort levels.

Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

Thanks so much for your comment :)

Thanks for your offering for my reputation - I'll take it!

And for you, since I don't know you offline I don't know but I would guess you are much the same online and off.

I would say you are open minded, professional, thoughtful, curious and, based on your CNN appearance and videos from the debate, sparkling and charming!

Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

I find your first impression quite charming. Welcome to BlogHer! I hope you spend some time here commenting, blogging, hanging out in the forums and I look forward to getting to know you better as part of this community.

Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

Thank you so much, Erin both for starting this discussion and for allowing me to blog it.

Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

It is interesting that you draw such a contrast between online and offline. I think there might be more overlap than you realize. Certainly you've been demonstrating your listening skills online as you think through issues and evaluate candidates.

And thanks so much for your comment and kind words.

Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

So, how would you distinguish identity from reputation, Maria? I started thinking about this as I read your great post.

(And anyone who has NOT met me F2F want to guess how tall I am?)

Full Circle Online Interaction Blog ( http://www.fullcirc.com/ )

Blogged about this today (yes I AM behind as usual).
Anyway, saw this and immediatley went back to put a link to it into my post. Figure you can only help my rep.

My Blog: http://www.txpoppet.blogspot.com

Would make a good meme too

Do you have a reputation? - doesn't everyone :)
Do you have an "online" reputation? ditto
Are they different? I don't think so - but it's hard to know
Do you know? I have ideas but...
Do you know mine? I think you are the snazzy, quick, taking it all in and responding to it all knowledgeable multi-tasker
What would your 160 character bio say? "Can I have more than 160 characters?"

Jill
Writes Like She Talks ( http://www.writeslikeshetalks.com )

Welcome, Sarah! :) It's very nice to meet you!

I think I'm too new to blogging to have an online reputation. My real-life reputation is "the girl who is always doing something new" and "the girl who speaks too soon about the new things she is doing and then changes her mind and feels stupid."

I'm also the girl who doesn't know how to be cool...I'm always grinning at people in the grocery store and they look at me like I'm from another planet. Maybe it's because I go to Wal-Mart and not Whole Foods. Maybe at Whole Foods they would smile back.

Umm...and I'm also the girl who stays up til 2:30 in the morning and writes crazy things on blogs that she's only just read for the first time. Or the short version...the girl who makes terrible first impressions.

Good night!
- Sarah
www.todayshomemaker.com ( http://www.todayshomemaker.com )
Help for the modern home dweller

www.sjoystudios.com ( http://www.sjoystudios.com )
Web design with form and function

As many of you know I twitter way too much. And I am always throwing things out there to talk about. I had NO IDEA that one little tweet would start an ONSLAUGHT of conversation. It was fun! And fascinating.

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain ( http://queenofspainblog.com/ )

I *think* my online reputation is, "the conservative, 'pro-life', Republican; who sometimes blogs about her kid and her quirky habits, and worries too much about what others might think"...

But I could be totally wrong on that. ;-)

I guess I've never really thought about it.

As for real life, I'm regarded as the friend who listens more than she talks, tries very hard to empathize with the person she is listening to, and can sometimes be a pushover (it's probably due to the many years I was a bartender and had to listen to everyone's problems without being judgmental or offering unsolicited advice).