When and Where to set the boundaries for controlling Grand Parents? And, is it weird that.....

     My boyfriend's Mother has always been a stay at home Mother and very much in control of everyone and everything in her life.  She is a very nice lady and means well, but she has done and said thing's behind my back that has led me to feel cautious towards her gestures.  This is very conflicting for me because I do not wish to make any waves with in their family.  However, I do not feel like my say so is the final word, my boyfriend is very protective of his Mother and her every word, because she is so loved by everyone and her community.  With that being said, I have been seeing a therapist to better help me understand why I feel so disconnected and defensive for my child and my relationship when it comes to her.  She has offered to watch my daughter after she is born, which I appreciate tremendously.  But IS IT WEIRD that she is putting her own nursery in her home?  IS IT WEIRD and unacceptable that she feels she and her family deserve special accomodations and priviledges because this is their only Grand child and the third for my family ( yet only one of the three lives here in the same city)?  

     I prefer that if she is to watch my daughter, she do it in our home so that I am not transporting a newborn back a forth every morning and afternoon, when she lives three miles away from us?  She would take that as me being mean or not allowing her "her" time with her Grand child.  Basically, I care for my boyfriend, his Mother is not my favorite person and I know she feels the same about me.  She does not speak very highly of me or my family to other people.  IS IT WEIRD and accpetable that my boyfriend does not step in and "protect" me from those negative words and thoughts?  

     Help and any kind advice would be greatly appreciated.  

 

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