The Truth You've Always Wanted: When Baby-Making Isn't Easy
I have been contimplating writing this post for awhile. Back and forth on sharing my truth, heartache, and struggles. After quite a bit of thought, I think that this may hit home with many readers.
When my husband and I wanted to start a family, I believed it was going to be easy. Each month the anticipation for a positive pregnancy test grew. I would get an adrenaline rush thinking about telling my husband and family that we were FINALLY pregnant. This adrenaline rush was followed by an immense low and sadness each month when I found out I wasn't pregnant.
I found myself pouring over websites, reading books, and trying to understand why it was taking me so long to get pregnant. Was it me? Was it him? Did it really matter? We finally decided at the advise of my OBGYN to see a fertility specialist. Not extremely easy to admit...
If you are going to see a fertility specialist, DO NOT expect immediate answers. I walked in thinking, "okay, we should be pregnant in a couple of months". This was not the case. I wish that someone could have helped me understand how many visits and tests were in my future. If you are seeing a fertility specialist, you understand. If you are about to see one, it can be a journey.
We found out that I had a uterine septum which required surgery. Again, emphasizing the journey part. From the moment we found out, we were on a journey through surgery and recovery. A uterine septum is a congenital malformation of nonvascular tissue that separates the uterus. It can be differing sizes, but all increase the risk of miscarriage. My fertility specialist told me that my miscarriage rate could be as high as 80%. It was me.
I had so many questions during this journey. Google and prayer became my best friends.
I have healed spiritually and physically during this trialing time, and I decided it was time to share my story to help anyone heal who is going through similar experiences. The best advice that I have for you is:
1. Research. As a nurse, I typically do not advise googling conditions, but googling infertility can lead you to many resources and articles that may provide comfort.
2. Breathe. Take everything in stride. This can be the most difficult piece of advice when there are baby showers, gender reveal parties, and friends getting pregnant the day after they decide to start trying.
3. Pray. When research and google doesn't have the answer, God does. Find comfort in Him.
My journey is not over. I still have to abide by the advice that I just gave you.