Bio
Laina Dawes is a contributing editor for Blogher and is also a music journalist whose writings can be found at Exclaim! Canada and...
 
 
 
 

What’s Hot on BlogHer.com

When a Black Family Adopts a White Child - A Different Twist on Transcultural Adoption

  • Share This Post
  • submit
  • 11
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Chitlun's and greens for dinner?

Malt Liquor in the baby bottle?

Fried chicken for an after-school snack?

Many of the discussions surrounding transracial adoption center on white families who adopt children of color. Conversations about international adoption and the emotional toll that adoption can cause for adult adoptee's and their parents are common and usually based on how to maintain one's cultural identity yet adapt to a new and sometimes hostile environment.

But what happens when the roles are reversed? In this case, black families that adopt white children?

First, this isn't about that horrible Steve Martin movie. According to a recent article in Newsweek this situation might be one that we will see more often in the near future. The article is centered on 9 year-old Katie O'Dea-Smith, a white girl whose parents are African-American. This case is a bit confusing as the mother of Terri Riding, who is the adoptive mother actually has legal guardianship of the girl, who came to her home as a troubled 3 year-old foster child. Her daughter and her husband serve as parental figures to the girl - and also have guardianship rights:

As a black father and adopted white daughter, Mark Riding and Katie O'Dea-Smith are a sight at best surprising, and at worst so perplexing that people feel compelled to respond. Like the time at a Pocono Mountains flea market when Riding scolded Katie, attracting so many sharp glares that he and his wife, Terri, 37, and also African-American, thought "we might be lynched." And the time when well-intentioned shoppers followed Mark and Katie out of the mall to make sure she wasn't being kidnapped. Or when would-be heroes come up to Katie in the cereal aisle and ask, "Are you OK?"—even though Terri is standing right there.

Brave from Mother Talkers who has two children from Guatemala, says that pervasive racial stereotypes in the media about black folks is a symptom of this kind of behavior:

The roots of this reaction probably lies in racism and the history of African Americans in the US. We have plenty of media images of African Americans as gangstas, drug dealers, maids and caretakers of white children, but not as many media images of them as parents, adoptive parents, successful corporate CEOs, teachers.

Mollie from Get Religion seems more concerned about the analogy describing Katie as 'pale as a communion wafer' than the adoption story. But she is correct in looking at the present demographics of children that need homes in the States:

I have neighbors of various races who have adopted children of various other races — including a black mother with a white child. But while it’s acceptable and increasingly popular for white families to adopt black children, the opposite scenario isn’t as prevalent. While both white and black families prefer to adopt children of their own race, black families have a better chance of adopting a same-race child because of the current demographic situation in foster care. So this makes for a great idea for a story — particularly since we learn in this Newsweek piece that Congress might reinstate race as a salient consideration in adoption cases.

Jae Ran Kim from Harlow's Monkey who has dedicated her blog to transcultural adoption( I highly suggest checking it out) recently spoke at the Iowa Foster and Adoptive Parent Association's Cultural Connections Conference and posted her guidelines on Things to think about when parenting a child transracially or transnationally.

So what do y'all think about this? As a transcultural adoptee, I certainly believe in adoption as despite the cultural background of the child, there are parents who are willing to dedicate their lives to those who need it. On the other hand - as dad Mark Riding says, there is a lot of caution and concern from (not so?) well-meaning people who are...let's face it - not used to seeing that family dynamic.

 

 

 

  • 11
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Comments

Post comment as twitter logo facebook logo
Sort: Newest | Oldest
stopandwatch 5 pts

I would like to share a film I wrote and directed that I will be releasing early 2010, titled "White Boy Brown" It is the story of a black man that embarks on the most difficult journey of his life. A journey that will force him to confront his own demons of hatred and prejudice, while rediscovering a love, for his adopted "White" brother JOHNNY. I would like to share it with you all.  (www.stopandwatchfilms.com ( http://www.stopandwatchfilms.com )) My website.

Myama Boone 5 pts

I am a foster mother to my 16-year-old niece who is biracial and her two little sisters ages 5 and 2.  One of her sisters is biracial as well, but her other sister is White.  My story is a bit unique as I am not married and my mom and I are sharing the responsibility of caring for these precious children.  I am black and am very proud of who I am, not simply because of my skin color, but because God made me who I am.  So I am taking care of these children with the intention of helping them be proud of who they are.  Adoption is a strong possibility.  But for now we are happy.

It is unbelievable how people stare and act strange when we go places.  But I am the type of person that really doesn't care what nosy people think.  I wanted to be a mom to these girls and that is what I am going to be.  None of the so-called concerned strangers that are trying to figure out why I have a white child in my home are putting food in her mouth or clothes on her back.

I have been challenged to be well-informed and concerned that each child remains a part of the culture they are accustomed to.  And my white and black sister-friends have been key in helping me accomplish this.  But more than anything else, I love these babies and my race doesn't keep me from extending the love God placed in my heart to them.  I have to answer to Him for every decision I make and I choose to love...

LittleMissStreep 5 pts

I'm a white girl in foster care and about two months ago I was placed with a black family. It was my first time ever in the foster care system, and I honestly believe it will be my last. This family has given me the love and support that no one else has been able to share. I know many people are against cultural-mixes, but I for one don't see anything wrong with them at all anymore. Sure, I may have been introduced to a new culture, and a new lifestyle. I may have been introduced to new people. But I'm so closely attached to them now. They're the family I've never had and have never been given up until now. They treat me like their own daughter, and the fact that I am white, with diffirent beliefs and a different skin color and culture doesn't change anything they think of me.

 Honestly, I believe race and skin color doesn't matter. Neither do cultural beliefs. We're all human. We're all in America (well, not ALL, but you know what I mean...hopefully). I can't wait until I'm finally able to see the day where blacks will hold their arms out to whites, and whites will hold their arms out to blacks, and every race in between will share the love as well. I can't wait until the day we're all considered Americans, and not African-Americans or Hispanic-Americans, or any other category like that. I just want everyone else to look at each other as normal humans, living lives. That's all.

 Ha, I'm done rambling now. :)

Candelaria Silva 5 pts

In Boston in the late 70s there were a group  of people, Blacks and Whites, who lived together.  One of them was a young White woman with a White son and she did drugs and over-dosed.  Her son was raised by the other Black people in the house but was never able to be legally adopted.

The walls of ignorance will be broken down but the casualties and insensitivities along the way are legion.

BTW - this post could have done without the stereotpical first front lines.  I know you like to write provocatively but this was a little much to me.

Children need loving and caring parents and caregivers however they come!

blog.candelariasilva.com

examiner.com/x-2478-Boston-Domestic-Issues_Examiner

Good and plenty!

Woman_In_The Midst_Raw 5 pts

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!  This so infuriates me... The money has absolutely nothing to do with it, and, might I add barely covers the medical expenses and basic needs.  I'm sure your parents dipped into their savings more than once to provide for your "brother" and did so WILLINGLY with love in their hearts as any responsilbe parents would! The state robbed this child of a loving home and they should be ashamed..  Your parents had every right to adopt him and should have been allowed to do so years ago! 

I'm so sorry your family had to suffer such a loss.. And I'm certain that's what it felt like to your Mom especially... It must have been so difficult for her.. For all of you...  I just can't imagine the pain...

What a great example your family is..  Proving my point once again, love has no color.. Love is love is love..  Our tears are crystal clear, when we are cut our blood runs red and our hearts overflow with love, swell with pride and ache for the loss of a child..

God Bless you ALL...

Woman_In_The Midst_Raw 5 pts

These posts have left me speechless...

Whatever happened to just good old fashioned love?  Last time I checked love didn't have a color.  We, as a people love, white, black, asian, hispanic, indian.. We love.  We love our children..  We may feed them different foods, raise them with different beliefs but our love is universal..  I just don't get it...

When I had my children I had such hopes that the racial tensions or what I like to call, misunderstandings, would be behind us.. I now have a grandson and my hopes are still just as great.. I want a wonderful loving world for him and I know that sounds "pie in the sky" but I believe we can work our way thru all of this..

I feel so fortunate that I was able to raise my children so that when they brought home their school pictures and went on and on about their friend Derek and how funny he is in class, that when I asked which one was Derek, they said to me, "he's right here Mom, with the red sweater..."  They didn't say he's the black kid, even tho he was the only boy of color in the picture..

Love people... It's just love, plain and simple...

blog2blog 5 pts

My parents are both black and when my four siblings and I were young they took in a little 5 year old white child that no one wanted.  Due to his mental handicap, my white brother never could comprehend the wierd looks and smart comments people would give us in stores, restaurants, family vacations, etc.  I love my white brother as if he were my own flesh and blood and would do anything for him.

He lived with my parents for 18 years and during those 18 years the state refused to allow my parents to adopt him as their son even though they knew no one else would take him in.

My parents finally gave him back to the state when a state representative told them that the only reason why the took my white brother in was for the MONEY. Ha! The MONEY?!? The opportunity my parents gave this child who would have otherwise been institutionalize was priceless.  My foster brother is now heavily sedated and currently lives in a state run group home for mentally challenged adults. (Note: my parents refused to medicated my white brother.) I guess the state believes that white children are better off in institutions than with good loving black families.

I encourage more black families to take in children whether they be black, white, red, or yellow.  Children deserves to be in good loving homes not in an INSTITUTION. Thank you for the article it really spoke to me.

SAngel 5 pts

Many years ago I married a man out of my race. His daughter was blonde/blue eyed and his son had light brown hair and also blue eys. I got more looks with the daughter. When I took her to school they watched me vry carefully. The intresting thing is, the son was emotionally distrubed involved in special schools because he was so far behind, and they said nothing. I guess because he was distrubed it didn't matter, but the daughter was a controversy.

It's to bad it hasn't change no, but it will so because then the though of a black family adopting a white child or a vice versa was horrifying ot some people, nmow they say it might be ok. 

Whatevr.  

ItsAngel

BlogHer: http//blogher.com/sangel

Blogger: http//angel-startingover.blogspot.com

mochadad 5 pts

Interesting post. I had never considered adoption from this perspective. 

Mocha Dad

http://www.mochadad.com ( http://www.mochadad.com/ )