When Blogging Hurts...

I’m not a recruiter for CABF.

I’m not a psychiatrist or therapist.

I’m not an advocate for pharmaceutical companies.

I’m not brainwashed, unevolved or the source of a serious parenting problem.

I am a mom.

I’m a mom who’s fighting for her son’s life.

I’m a mom who doesn’t have all the answers and often feels ill equipped.

I’m a mom who’s disappointed that the research isn’t farther along.

I’m a mom who’s terrified of possible side effects.

I’m a mom who’s questioning everything our doctor suggests.

I’m a mom who’s frustrated by all the controversy.

I’m a mom who’s offended by all the accusations.

I’m a mom who’s making the best decisions based on the direction of our medical team.

I’m a mom who cries because we’re not doing enough.

I’m a mom who worries because we’re doing too much.

I’m a mom who’s experiencing hope thanks to medication.

I’m a mom who realizes that hope doesn’t always stick around.

I’m a mom who’s watched her son lose touch with reality and is terrified of what could happen next.

I’m a mom who’s scared that her son will end up in prison if he doesn’t have treatment.

I’m a mom who’s sickened by thoughts of finding her son hanging in his room because he stopped treatment.

I’m a mom who’s worried that her son will become addicted to drugs and alcohol in an effort to treat his symptoms on his own.

I’m a mom who’s bled from the hands of her own son.

I’m a mom who’s watched her other children tremble in fear while their brother raged.

I’m a mom who’s seen her 7 year old boy cry while frantically hiding sharp objects from his brother who wanted to kill himself.

I’m a mom who’s seen her son desperately begging for help.

I’m a mom who’s witnessed the devastation of real mental illness.

I’m a mom who hurts, as others throw stones at her for the decisions she’s made.

I’m only a mom... speaking my truth.


* * *

Recently I participated in a discussion on another forum and was hit pretty hard by the words of a few.

 
I think a reader who visited the conversation put it best when she said:
 
“...it is kind of like a car accident, you drive by and can’t help looking at it. I tried not to go back to that blog but I did, and it was quite awful what they were saying about you.”

I tried to share my story, but I found that there are people that will always assume the worst of me because I medicate my son. I can’t change that. I’m sharing this with you to show you what moms like me are up against.
 
Here is the conversation (comment section), but remember, I warned you, it ain’t pretty...
 

 

* * *

I’m a mother of 3 young boys, the oldest suffering from Bipolar 1 Disorder. I write a blog to let go of my pain and to help support others by letting them know they’re not alone.

http://mysonhas2brains.blogspot.com/

Comments

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.