When can you move on?
I think I’m ready. I’ve been making a slow progression towards something new. I’ve been thinking about something new. It has taken so long for me to think of something new… I’ve done a lot of traveling and a lot of things I wouldn’t have done, but most of all I’ve begun to think of something new. I feel stronger. I feel more like a woman and less like a girl everyday. I’ve been praying a lot. My main prayer lately has been a prayer for strength; strength to move on. I don’t know what it takes on my part to build up strength. I can pray, I can act like nothing gets me down. But, what can I truly do to become stronger. I’ve discovered that the only thing I can do is live. The more I live, the more I learn. I think I’ve lived in the past 2 years than I have in my whole entire life. I have great parents who have taught me many things, but life is where you learn your real lessons. So when a relationship ends, you think what can I learn from my mistakes? Although I joke around I learned a lot from my past relationship and I think I’m on the verge of being ready to use that information for the next relationship I am going to enter. I think that is one vital step in becoming ready to move on. I think you have to be willing to admit that you’ve made mistakes, and you are prepared to right those wrongs. I wasn’t the perfect girlfriend, I was pretty darn close, but I wasn’t perfect.
I think I’ve come to terms with the fact that my “Ex” and I are not going to get back together any time soon, if that. I think I was holding out. I know I was holding out. As of late, I’ve really begun to flirt with the idea that we may in fact be done for forever. We may never get back together and that has to be okay. I’m too young to even suggest that I’m done dating. I think God has a plan for me, and I doubt that plan is for me to putter about alone. The fact that I’ve now truly begun to accept the notion that I may never get back with my Ex is a vital step in my path to moving on.
Am I fully ready to move on? I really don’t know. I will say that, that question no longer turns my stomach. I also don’t really think about it that much anymore. So when I do think about it I’m oddly more comfortable with the notion of “moving on.” I think this fact alone is a step in the right direction. I’ve been happier, I’ve been busy, but I’ve been happy. At first I thought that my busy schedule was a good way to distract myself from my loneliness. It was but it was also a great way to prove to myself that life goes on. My life has continued. The world didn’t stop when I broke up with my “Ex.” The world might have moved a little slower, but my life continued.
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