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When Did Saying "Happy Holidays!" Become a Bad Thing?

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It's the most wonderful time of the year! The holiday season is upon us, and apparently, we can count on two things - a showdown in Congress and whining about the supposed war on Christmas. It's ironic, isn't it? Everywhere you look, there are Christmas decorations. Christmas music is being piped into every store and restaurant. The Christmas season has stretched longer and longer, with Christmas merchandise now appearing in stores even before Halloween. And yet, somehow, this isn't enough emphasis on Christmas for some. Consider the following examples:

  • Recently, my sister heard someone respond to someone wishing them "Happy Holidays" by saying "We say 'Merry Christmas', not that holiday crap." 
  • My friend saw someone wearing a button saying, "It's OK to say Merry Christmas". 
  • I saw a bumper sticker saying "Keep Christ in Christmas", 
  • And of course, Fox News is having their annual whine-fest about something somewhere being referred to as "holiday" instead of "Christmas". In this case, a tree in Rhode Island.

Give me a break.

First of all, wishing someone "Happy Holidays" is at its essence an expression of good will. It is a positive thing to say, a kind gesture. Since when is it OK to respond to a kind expression with rudeness and rejection? Isn't Christmas also about opening our hearts? Peace and goodwill to all? Please practice what you preach.


Happy Holidays

Image: edenpictures' buddy icon edenpictures via Flickr

 

Second of all, can we all just acknowledge and accept that NOT EVERYONE CELEBRATES CHRISTMAS! I know, this is shocking, but yes, there are Jewish people and Buddhist people and all sorts of other cultures and religions that do not celebrate it. Do you know for sure that the person you are speaking to celebrates Christmas? If not, then why would you wish them Merry Christmas? Saying "Happy Holidays" is a polite way of wishing someone well without making assumptions. The holidays can include Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Years Day, and yes, Christmas.

Adding to the irony of complaining about using the word "holiday" in place of "Christmas", did you know that the word "holiday" evolved from the words "holy day"? It just demonstrates the ignorance of these people that they are actually opposed to someone wishing them a happy holy day and believe that it contradicts and does not encompass Christmas.

As for the sentiment of saying "Keep the Christ in Christmas", I can understand the frustration of seeing what to some is a very special, religious holiday turn into a spectacle of commercialism on steroids. I can agree that the original meaning of the holiday has been lost amongst the shopping and decorations frenzy. But you really can't have it both ways. If Christmas goes back to being a purely religious holiday, and you remove all of the secular trappings (and the people who celebrate it in a secular way), then that would correspondingly reduce the number of people celebrating it and the attention paid to in the retail world. Christmas is big business. It's called Black Friday, because that's when many retailers go in to the black, i.e. become profitable for the year. Remove that financial motivation, sorry to say, and there will be less "Merry Christmas" everywhere, not more

What makes Christmas special to me is not the presents and shopping but spending time with family. My husband and I enjoy passing along holiday traditions to our children and making our own. Part of that holiday tradition for us is also celebrating Hanukkah. See, I have one side of the family that is Catholic, and one side that is Jewish. That is why I am sensitive to the fact that not everyone celebrates Christmas. I always buy cards that say "Seasons Greetings" or "Happy Holidays" so that I can send them to everyone on my list. I see this as being considerate and thoughtful. Not for one second is it meant to minimize Christmas for those who celebrate it.

For those who are getting so worked up about it, I challenge you to search within yourself to understand why it is so important to you. Do you need such constant validation of your faith? Are you really that intolerant of those that are not like you? Let me assure you that Christmas is alive and well. Look around you. Notice all of the green and red, the mistletoe, the Santas at the mall. Enjoy the reindeer on people's lawns, the lights on houses, the poinsettias, the holly. Hear the Christmas music played in the malls, and watch the

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shaycv 7 pts

I think we should be allowed to say what we wish without being told it is wrong and without people getting offended.

Sand In My Eyes 5 pts

I think people are really sensitive about this issue because a few years ago it was nearly illegal to say "Merry Christmas". It's an emotional backlash. Intolerance breeds intolerance. Unlove breeds unlove. This has been a vicious cycle for years. It's unfortunate.

I live in the Middle East and I follow Christian traditions, which obviously puts me in the minority. On Christmas Day, I received nearly 20 texts from my desert girlfriends wishing me a Merry Christmas. During their holidays (holy days - I love it!), I also send them greetings, wishing them all the best for the special days as well as the whole year through. Our holidays should be a time of reflection of our own hearts. Bearing witness to our growth. Quieting ourselves for meditating on what is important in life. It's not a time for staking claim on a season and dictating people's word choice. I loved the comment from someone below that as long as someone isn't using the middle finger or the F word, she's happy with whatever well wishes people are putting forward.

Good will to all men!

gottsmart 5 pts

Great post! Thanks for helping us all remember that no one group, tradition or religion owns December—or the right to celebrate the meaning they find there—any more than anyone owns the basic qualities and values of love, compassion, and kindness. Like you I did a little research and wrote about the history of holidays during the month of December from a slightly different perspective. If interested, others can read about it here: http://smartliving365.com/?p=596#more-596

cctate 7 pts

The inspiration of this post was complaints about using the phrase "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" during the entire holiday season. I am not arguing against saying "Merry Christmas" on Christmas Day or any other day. I am arguing that there should be no negative feelings about using the term "Happy Holidays". It is not "dishonoring" Christmas at all! I live in a very liberal, culturally diverse area, and Christmas is still everywhere, so I really don't understand those who contend that it isn't.

One last point, I absolutely agree that any sentiment of wishing well should be received in the positive spirit in which it is intended. However, I would just point out that it is pretty easy for those in the majority (over 75% of Americans identify themselves as Christian) to make that call for those in the minority, whose beliefs gets a token (if any) mention compared to the overwhelming presence of Christmas. A small example: My sons' school had a fundraiser this year selling gift wrap. There was not one Hanukkah-themed item in the entire catalog.

Anne Kimball 6 pts

Some interesting points. However, my feeling is, I would welcome if someone of another belief system or culture wished me a "Happy ...." Whatever, just as I hope they would welcome if I wished them a "Merry Christmas". I generally say "Happy St. Patrick's Day" to people of all cultures and ethnic groups, too, without stopping to wonder if they themselves are Irish.

More of my thoughts on this topic can be found at http://bringingboryahome.blogspot.com/2011/12/merr...

cctate 7 pts

Anne Kimball The majority of commenters seem to agree that they receive any form of happy thoughts directed at them positively.

resp1016 25 pts

Oy! I was raised in a Jewish household; however, whenever we received Merry Christmas cards, my mom would PROUDLY display them along with the Hanukkah cards. My mom instilled in me that it's not the actual wording on the card, it's the fact that someone cared enough about our family to send us the card... it was the sentiment. This is a tradition I have taken into adulthood. I respect my friends who want to keep Christ in Christmas. I respect my friends who want to send a generic Happy Holidays card. I am simply happy to be thought of this time of year. Personally, I choose to send Happy New Year's cards that usually arrive in Feb because I'm not super organized. This is one time where the adage, "It's the thought that counts," rings true. Thank you for posting this!

cctate 7 pts

resp1016 Yes, we should all respect each others' beliefs, absolutely!

tracismixedbag 5 pts

I'm a Christian that cares about Christmas but I could care less what people call it. If someone takes the time to tell me Happy Whatever, I think it's wonderful. And I totally respect that people celebrate it in different ways. I think it's stupid to assume that people are trying to take away the sanctity of the holiday when it doesn't matter what others think, it matters what's in our heart. Plus to me Happy Holidays means all the holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. People need to stop being so insecure.

cctate 7 pts

tracismixedbag Yes! That is why they call this the "holiday season"! Because there are a lot of holidays in short period of time! I don't think anyone is trying to take away from Christmas by saying Happy Holidays. Christmas is a holiday included in that wish.

Ciao Mom 7 pts

Yes. This has been interesting to watch as my daughter interacts with various people all around her-- school staff, doctors office staff, and sales people. She lights up when they say happy holidays. We are Jewish, and she is beginning to understand that there are more people that are not jewish around us than people that are. She understands that saying happy holidays is respectful of all---and is a wish of good things for all. Anyway, thank you for this!

cctate 7 pts

Ciao Mom And if one girl is happier to receive that greeting, then that is what it is all about!

Liz Rizzo 7 pts

I'm from South Florida, so growing up I never saw a public Christmas display in my life without a menorah. *Everyone* said Happy Holidays. My favorite Christmas decorations were blue and purple because they seemed so beautiful and wintery - something you've got to manufacture in South Florida. ;)

When I moved to L.A., my first year here someone said, "Merry Christmas!" and I chimed back, "Happy Holidays!" He stopped and said back, in a correcting tone, "Merry Christmas." It took me a minute to even figure out what was happening.

And now I almost feel bad when I say "Happy Holidays." It's totally weird, and I can't even begin to even fathom what people's problem is sometimes. It doesn't make any sense to me at all.

Furthermore, the reason for the season is pagan winter festivals, and "Christmas" as it's currently called came from the church's need to co-op pagan rituals to convert people to Christianity. We shared our winter festival with the Christians, the least they could do is turn around and be gracious and joyous with everyone!

Happy Holidays!!!

(And I still think it's totally weird to see Christmas decorations without a menorah near by.)

cctate 7 pts

Liz Rizzo Good point about many aspects of Christmas coming from the pagan celebration of winter solstice, including the fact that it is celebrated in December and decorating the tree. And I also love blue and purple-themed Christmas decorations the best.

SunbonnetSmart.com 94 pts

cctateLiz Rizzo Whoa! And that is something to think about as well. Many Christians do not celebrate Christmas in December, but in March when they say Christ was actually born. Many feel now is truly a pagan holiday and has nothing to do with Christianity. You won't find these Christians saying Merry Christmas OR Happy Holidays, so we all need to be a little more sensitive to realizing there are all sorts of Christians. I'm just sayin.' Fondly, Robin

MauiShopGirl 33 pts

I don't think it's wrong to say Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah, whatever is appropriate for you. I will appreciate with open arms any greeting and well wishes you wish to bestow upon me. I will also embrace your faith and spirituality even if it is different from my own. But then again, I am not religious, I do feel we need fellowship with the members of our community, philosophy and to live a good life without hurting others. But I don't adhere to any specific organized religion. I live in a community surrounded by both eastern and western beliefs and feel there is truth and lessons from both.

I often feel political correctness pulls people apart more than it's original intent to respect others. It points out our differences and makes us constantly aware of them. No one should feel hostile or judgmental toward someone who has wished them joy with good intent in their heart. I do not expect everyone to know what my beliefs are and I don't expect them to use the generic Happy Holidays...just in case. I expect them to be kind to me and not wish me harm and to feel happy, joyful and at peace.

With all the horrible things in the world and the problems with the economy, we have much more important things to worry about than the words used to express holiday cheer.

cctate 7 pts

MauiShopGirl I agree with your sentiment, and I wish more felt like you do. Happy holidays to you!

ewillse 13 pts

Several years ago, a client of mine said "Merry happy! And happy merry!"

I really liked that. Talk about inclusively distilling down to the good wish part of it.

I don't know why people get worked up about what's politically correct to say, or about getting offended if someone phrases a holiday wish the wrong way.

My theory has always been that the uproar about the phrasing might actually be people's holiday stress getting expressed as grouchiness over a phrase.

cctate 7 pts

ewillse

I like "Merry happy!" too!

Conversation from Twitter

karensomething1
karensomething1

blogher I don't care what people "wish" me. Good spirit, is good spirit. A lot of people in the world celebrating different things.

ingridleblanc
ingridleblanc

karensomething1 hey on facbeook they're giving out free ipad 2's for christmas! go here fbchristmas .com

fanniecoralie
fanniecoralie

blogher As I tweeted before, I'm from NY,so any greeting not involving the F bomb or the middle finger, is welcome and thank you.

fanniecoralie
fanniecoralie

blogher No. If I know Christians,will say Merry Christmas. If not sure,large group,Happy Holidays\/also "Happy\/Merry\/Happy Everyone"

ThisIsMothrhood
ThisIsMothrhood

blogher When people started saying it because they didn't want to offend others

Conversation from Facebook

Melissa Corliss Aiello
Melissa Corliss Aiello

No. I didn't miss the point.

Natalie Goldberg Klein
Natalie Goldberg Klein

I have always been pleasant and respectful if someone says it to me but it would be nice for once to have someone say happy holidays and not assume what my or others beliefs are

Natalie Goldberg Klein
Natalie Goldberg Klein

Carolyn no body is dishonoring your holiday or taking away what the day is we are just saying before you say to someone hope you have a merry day celebrating Jesus birthday that you think about if they actually celebrate it. Merry Christmas is not saying have a joyful day .... it just isn't to someone who doesn't celebrate it.... I am not trying to be disrespectful or take away from your holiday i do wish you and anyone who celebrates it. Merry Christmas ... But please remember the world is round and people are different and be respectful of all choices and all families ....

Judy Schwartz Haley
Judy Schwartz Haley

Dec 25 was not Jesus's actual birthday, it landed on that date thanks to political maneuvering. But it doesn't matter what day we celebrate, just as it doesnt matter what day someone wishes me joy. I certainly wouldn't rip someone a new one for wishing me joy, regardless of what the holiday.

Carolyn Mullin
Carolyn Mullin

Leslie, you're not missing the POINT but a number of people are. We don't care what you say on any other day of the year but on CHRISTMAS, Dec. 25th... that's Jesus' (with a capital J!) birthday. The word CHRISTmas or Xmas tells who the day belongs to. I don't think we Christians mind what you say ... you all have your own holiday... no need to dishonor ours. So happy whatever to all of you!

Allographics & Design
Allographics & Design

I like both. I wish others both a Happy Holiday season as well as Merry Chirstmas. I prefer Holiday to my business clients since we interact with many around the world. Not everyone celebrates the same Holiday as we do, but we still want to recognize that they want well wishes during the season no matter which hoiliday they celebrate.

Natalie Goldberg Klein
Natalie Goldberg Klein

Let's face it .... This is not about what you and I do with friends and acquaintances this is bout being the mall, grocery store etc.... Where people in customer service should be worldly enough to just say happy holidays! It's is the establishments responsibility to educate their employees ! I kid u not a friend of mine who is a rabbi walked into a local grocery store she bought a kosher chicken , matzah ball mix, Latka mix and dreidel cookies and challah,.... On her way out they wished her a merry Christmas really ? Really ? That is just not being aware and I just feel they should be aware.

Natalie Goldberg Klein
Natalie Goldberg Klein

Melissa maybe I am mis reading i am not trying to argue with you but I think you have missed the point. The point is we all have different beliefs and while yes someone has nice intentions to wish someone else merry Christmas I don't need that wish cause I don't celebrate it. I think the point is we should not make someone feel excluded because they aren't a part of the same faith and we should not be so egocentric that we realize not everyone wants to be wished merry Christmas.

Anna Duke
Anna Duke

Merry CHRISTMAS !!

Stephanie Gagos
Stephanie Gagos

Love this, I wrote a status about this yesterday and got a wonderful discussion going..I agree!!!

Sarah Thompson
Sarah Thompson

We celebrate a Christmas, albeit without the religious aspect. I have no issue with any seasonal well-wishes. If someone wished me a happy hannakuh, I would wish them the same, though it isn't what I celebrate. The same goes for yule, kwanzaa, festivus, or anything else. Happy holidays is also perfectly acceptable, if that's your preferred greeting.

Melissa Corliss Aiello
Melissa Corliss Aiello

I can't believe there is such a hullabaloo and angst over one human being wishing another human being joy. Are people really that petty to focus only on what it excludes instead of the intention of good will? I don't believe in God, yet I say Merry Christmas, because it carries a message of joy and kindness. I can't imagine that any benevolent being (should it exist ) would care what phrase is used as long as the message carried on those words was that of good will toward humankind.

Cristina Gonzalez
Cristina Gonzalez

People should be happy I wish them happy or merry anything.

Danielle Barnsley-Cervo
Danielle Barnsley-Cervo

Happy Holidays is not an insult! It's a nice way of well wishing and trying to encompass all of the diverse culture and beliefs that exist in our culture!

Natalie Goldberg Klein
Natalie Goldberg Klein

Leslie i dont think people say it to be generic they say it because they understand not everyone has the same belief....when you are with family and friends you can say Merry Christmas I say it to someone I know is celebrating it. But why would you want to say it to someone who does not celebrate it? Will it do something for them? Does it do something for you when they look at you and say we don't celebrate that? If I wished you a happy Hanukkah you would say thanks I don't celebrate that. I would never want to take something away from someone who celebrates a holiday but not everyone celebrates it ... there should just be more compassion for differences and not feel like someone has taken something away cause their beliefs are different. We all have a joyous holiday to celebrate ;)

Amy Halpern
Amy Halpern

@ Leslie i think youre missing the point..yes YOU celebrate christmas but what if your coworker or boss or the salesperson didnt...dont you think it would be NICE to accept that not everyone celebrates christmas and happy holidays is good wishes for whatever you celebrate.amongst your family and friends that you know celebrate Christmas..feel free to say Merry Christmas...

Leslie Whitney
Leslie Whitney

I'm more bummed that saying "Merry Christmas" became a bad thing. I never hear it anymore. I don't mind hearing "Happy Hannukah" or whatever other holiday someone is celebrating, great. But why is it so bad to say "Merry Christmas" ? That's what I'm celebrating, not some generic "holiday".

Charisse Wilbanks
Charisse Wilbanks

You people are funny. Call it what you want and stop shoving your beliefs down someones throat if they say happy holidays. I believe in god and jesus, and I have found in my own personal relationship with him that bigotry and segregation do not bring you any closer to. I say both without a guilty conscience because I have respect for ALL humans and their beliefs, in the end it's the same thing we worship, just different facets. The way to heaven is not paved with prejudices and ostracization but will goodwill and love towards all gods children. And happy holidays encompasses all the holidays in this season, each as important as the next. So happy holidays and merry christmas to ALL my brothers and sisters on this earth. May your lives be filled with peace, love, tolerance, and acceptance. Hate poisons the soul in all it's forms.

William Fregosi
William Fregosi

Oh, and the X in Xmas is the Greek letter Chi, the initial for Christ. The early church used it because it means Christmas.

Natalie Goldberg Klein
Natalie Goldberg Klein

Thank you!! I really appreciate this post...... The entire holiday season I have not once been wished a happy holidays ... My kids are 3 and 4 when they were first wished a merry Christmas they were confused... And when asked what Santa was going to bring them they had blank faces... So we explained we dot celebrate that holiday we celebrate Hanukkah ... And if anyone says anything say thank you and if they further the conversation they can explain we just dont celebrate it. In some ways it has made my kids connect more with being jewish and in some ways it has made me very uncomfortable that people can't just understand that everyone is not the same! We don't need to be PC and take away the christ from christmas.... But how about not assuming that everyone has the same beliefs ....

William Fregosi
William Fregosi

VERY interestingly, the invitations to the Republican National Committee's big seasonal event this year called it a Holiday Party. And from at least 2003 to 2010, Governor Rick ("I'm not ashamed to say I'm a Christian") Perry's seasonal greeting to the People of Texas wished them a Happy Holiday. I bet Fox doesn't come down on THEM, does it?

Carolyn Mullin
Carolyn Mullin

CHRISTmas is Jesus' birthday... you forgot the expression, "Happy Birthday Jesus!"

MacArthur Marlene
MacArthur Marlene

Happy Holidays...actually stands for "Holy days"....so maybe there's a great meaning in both, but still prefer...Merry Christmas since it's been that way for a very very long time....<3

Vicky Welch
Vicky Welch

it leaves out CHRIST