Once they start texting, IMing and going online, it gets so much more difficult to oversee and manage. My 13 year old daughter has received threatening messages from "friends" and I've seen many situations where other children (girls especially) have to deal with the cyber-bullying. It's hard to go to school and not even know who is out to get you! And, of course, it is easy to punish someone when all you have to do is press "Send". On the note of younger children, the counselor at my youngest daughter's school last year (in Kindergarten) told me she was having to start younger and younger to teach them to be kind to one another. She said the bullying and gossiping used to start in 4th or 5th grade, but now it is the littlest children.

What did I do? In both cases, all I can do is try and explain to my kids that bullies are looking for attention. I try and teach them that "kill with kindness" is generally the best approach. Do they listen? Who knows!

Beverly Flaxington

Blog: Dealing with Difficult People

Book: Understanding Other People: The Five Secrets

yes, bullying is rampant. all of my girls at some point have been bullied and for the most part it has been short lived, because i have taught my daughters to stick up for themselves. they have handled it in different ways, one may talk her way out of it another has actually had to kick a boy off of her, let me say that he called her bad names and left bruises on her arms she just happened to be caught by the yard duty person. i went to to the office and we got to the bottom of it, this kid had bullied her for a while and she finally couldn't take it anymore. and yet anothers bullying was in junior high and she came home and told me and i went to the principals office and the three boys who did bully her were suspended, because they used remarks affiliated with gang behavior. i am glad that my kids are equipped to do the right thing, and if i ever saw them acting out on another child i have taken them aside and been really stern with them, for the most part it has been kidstuff. but if you do not nip it in the bud it grows into this unmanageable behavior that to  me is unacceptable, as i was bullied from kinder to highschool. i finally got bold to stand up for myself, most times i did not confide in my parents and i think that is crucial. creating an environment of communication is soo important to really knowing what is going on with your kid. i agree with beverly as they get older the bullying can be worse, with the technology we have today it only allows someone to be destroyed with the push of a send button. i have tweens and teens and it is scary to me how much goes on, for the new cyberbullying i think having access to all of their gadgets and myspace etc is important i monitor my girls sites. i have seen cyberbullying firsthand when someone spread vicious rumors about my daughter from another mother, it destoyed her confidence and friendships and she is slowly rebuilding her life back to a normal for her. so i say know what is going on in your kids life and know who is in your kids life. and to all the former bullies out there who ever taunted me, hope karma was a *$#@! to you.

I was bullied from preschool through to the end of high school. A friend of mine was frustrated last year when her daughter was being bullied by a 3 year old at preschool.

I would do anything to spare my kids from that experience and to keep them from becoming bullies. Anything. But what to do? That isn't always clear. For starters, I think schools have a responsibility to be on the watch for it, to treat it seriously, and to address the underlying issues that are causing the bullies to pick on others.

PhD in Parenting - http://phdinparenting.com

My son's been both and had huge problems last year and some of this year at school for handling situations violently. Unfortunately he's earned himself a bit of a reputation but I think we're on the road to rectifying that but it's not easy.

He has social skills problems and doesn't always know how to act in certain situations. I also know that some kids know how to push his buttons and stand back and watch the consequences of my son's reaction (one kid stood back with a smirk on his face one day according to my son). Consequences usually being detention.

Recently we got our department of education involved and I've had some meetings with a behaviour management person from there, and relevant people from the school and we've drawn up a student development plan for both school, and after school care. These plans outline some really clear goals for what's expected of Julian and he's 'rated' on his behaviour throughout the day with negotiated rewards for good behaviour.

But my son also gets picked on in addition to the push buttons and stand back thing I mentioned above. I've finally got him telling staff what's going on as there was a stage where he didn't want to dob.

It's a bloody hard one but as a parent you've got to be on the ball, work with the school, let the school know that you want to work with them to resolve things and not deny that something's going on. Pity all parents didn't do the same. I know one lot of parents thinks my son's the bad boy but their son ain't no angel either. They would deny that and the mum will not look me in the eye when we see each other at school. I think I'll just say hallo to her next time so she has to look me in the eye! Just because our boys have issues doesn't mean I'm a bad person..

Jen at Semantically driven