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When you tell The Universe what you want, she will move heaven and earth to bring you what you need.
I believe this. It's one of the few statements of faith that I hold firmly onto. In late September, 2006, I aimed intention at The Universe when I, exhausted, unhappy and overweight, said : I need to find a trainer and get myself in shape! I had spent a brutal three weeks in the Midwest moving my mother-in-law into assisted living. Stress and poor diet had added an extra 8 pounds that I didn't need. I was achey, I was aging, I was miserable, but I was flying home.
The Universe heard.
As I walked in the door, I flipped on the television from habit. The first words to greet me were: Get 6 sessions with a personal trainer when you join 24 Hour Fitness as part of our Biggest Loser Special. It struck me like a punch. I didn't want to join that place; I wanted something different... what exactly, I couldn't explain or define. Something more unusual; something less "gym-ey". I wasn't happy that The Universe was telling me: forget what you imagine. Get yourself to this gym.
I went. I signed up. The sales consultant found a young guy he thought would be great for me. This trainer, we shall call him Guido, slouched into the chair opposite me, smiled charmingly, and set up an appointment for the next week. I was dubious.
Our first workout was the longest half-hour of my life! I was sore, (sore!!) for two days after a half-hour workout. We moved slowly through those first short sessions. I would feel frustrated and mis-understood; he would sigh or laugh at my excuses and patiently try to get me in the program. I was starting to feel a little less ragged, though, so I signed up for more sessions when the first 6 were over.
Workouts weren't getting easier and without a formal appointment, I didn't often make it to the gym. However, I beginning to get more comfortable with my trainer and share a bit with him.
"I'm a klutz." I said.
"We can work on that." he answer.
"No. Really. I have always been uncoordinated and awkward."
"Yes. Really. We can work on that. Let's do it right now!"
The exercise involves stepping up on a platform on one foot, balancing, then doing a military press with light weights. Yeah. I tried and unbalanced. Tried. Unbalanced. Tried. Unbalanced again. My body was wobbly, my mind felt buzzy, I could barely concentrate. I kept on thinking: I CAN'T DO THIS. Guido finally forcefully said: I know you think you can't, but I know can! And we are staying here until you do! Something clicked. Maybe it was exhaustion, but I think it was wisdom finally showing up. I took a deep breath and decided, just this once, to believe Guido instead myself. I cranked out all the required moves without a slip-up as long I focused on his belief in me instead of my own unbelief in myself.
It changed everything.
I came to really understand that I was my biggest roadblock. If I could believe, I could do. At first, I depended heavily on Guido's positive belief in me. Over time I was able to begin believing in myself. This is the greatest secret of this entire year. I can do anything if I truly believe. How often we've heard this, but I had seldom let myself experience it. Now I had experiences that not only showed me this truth but also let me practice doing this simple, complicated thing.
My workouts grew to three times a week: once or twice with my trainer and the other times by myself. As time allowed, I'd also come in up to 2 days for some additional cardio (yes, from hating the gym to going 5 days a week. Who was this woman?) I was losing 1.5# a week. By March, I hit the half-way point toward my goal, and rewarded myself with new jeans. From size 12 to size 8! Weight loss slowed after that, but as the workouts continued, my confidence grew. I headed to BlogHer
