When It Doesn't Get Better: More Bullying, Another Suicide

What kind of sicko tells people that everyone would be happier if they took their own life? I hope the little monster that did that realizes what a horrid thing they did and has to live with that for the rest of their life.

I was bullied monstrously when I was in school, but it would have been even worse if there had been cyber bullying on top of it. I do not think that my questionably worthy self would be here today making this comment had there been the Internet when I was in school. Instead people just sent mean notes to each other via dinosaur!

Jamey's death is a very tragic event and a horrible thing. We should all take a look at what happens when those who wish to expoloit bullying acts wish to use those tragedys to enact "anti-bullying" laws. Liberal and homosexual agenda then steps in and that will make matters worse. Be very cautious in not taking something evil and making it worse ! I speak specifically to Senator Cahrles Schumer, the "main stream media" and others like him who are looking to make more laws to legislate rather than help people's hearts. Find out more at http://blackroberegimentpastor.blogspot.com/2011/1...

This is so incredibly sad. My heart aches for his parents.

This is absolutely heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing his story. I had not heard. Here's a link to my "It Gets Better" video. My prayers go out to his incredibly strong Mom and family.

http://www.abiolatv.com/2010/10/it-gets-better-mes...

14.....and sexuality should be in the background and not a frontispiece for identity. This bullying is so sad!

All so very sad. I was bullied as a teenager by two horrible girls (Robyn and Jill) who felt threatened by me somehow and put me back in my place because I was overweight.

Bullying is a lifelong event. Reality TV is putting bullying out there full front and center for adults now too. I work in an environment where I have been bullied. I was so alone. Now other people at work who have been bullied, intimidated and threatened are getting their time to tell their story to the administration. I will join in on that investigation telling my story too.

The sad thing about all of this is that you feel so alone. Once you find out that others share your pain you can rally and go forth.

This story made me incredibly sad. I'm working on a post over on my blog, talking about what parents can do-because in our case over the years, we felt really helpless. Even now we're still sorting out what happened with our son over this past year, and the more I dig, the more I'm finding out that adults who should have stood up and done their job in the beginning just turned a blind eye. The really sad thing is at school Kevin complained about the bullying, and a sub told him, "It doesn't get better. It's a lie. "

Oh my heart hurts after reading this post. I hate to think that any children are tormented this much for just being who they are. I lost a daughter as an infant and I can only imagine the pain that Jayme's parents are going through after so many years of memories and in knowing what brought him to this point. My thoughts are with them. Thank you for sharing his story Jenna.

I thought you should see Lady Gaga's response. http://bit.ly/mYAE0V

This is so sad...My husband and I were talking about this and we both think that the only way that this is going to stop is to start charging the bullies with hate crimes. Or manslaughter, or whatever will stick. There will always be bullies, but if someone kills themselves as the result of being constantly tormented, and there's physical evidence like facebook posts telling them to kill themselves, the bullies should be held responsible. Too many people use the "boys will be boys, you can't stop it" kind of excuse for bullies, but boys can also be decent human beings and treat other people with common decency.

I am thoroughly disgusted and angered by the cruel and hateful things people say to others that show their utter lack of respect for fellow human beings. Having had to endure taunts and prejudice during high school--the time when children begin their transition to adulthood by way of hormonal changes, having to cope with social adjustments, fitting in, and self esteem issues can become overwhelming to so many teens--I blog about bullying every once in a while. Here are links to 2 of my previous posts on bullying, teen angst and depression (and I go into the connection of all this with problems later in life, especially for women). People can’t understand how suicides seem to be the “in” thing now. Instead of coping, they are killing themselves. Well, for those who can’t understand why, did you realize that depression rates are at an all-time high? And note that depression in parents have a lasting impact, both genetically and environmentally, on their children.
http://ivysppdblog.wordpress.com/2010/11/12/depres...
http://ivysppdblog.wordpress.com/2010/04/04/bullyi...

Oh, this makes me so sad. For Jamey, for his family, for his friends. As the parent of a bullied child, this hits so close to home. We're currently dealing with a bully at school who keeps stealing my 11-year-old daughters lunch. They have been friends for awhile, and it has always bothered me how bossy this "friend" is. Well, now it's escalating, my daughter doesn't want to be friends with her anymore, but she is scared of her. Fortunately, the school seems to be responding appropriately, and I'm hoping this gets taken care of quickly.

I wrote a letter to myself after seeing a "It Gets Better" style video my new friend Mark made: http://www.blogher.com/dear-my-teenage-self-its-me... (link to the video in the blog post.)

Bullying is real, and not knowing where you fit in in middle school and high school is real, and wanting desperately to be "same" not "other" is real. There's no use trying to pretend it's anything else. So anything, ANYthing that makes one kid different from another can be grounds for bullying or maltreatment by peers. Clothes, food, background, lifestyle, sexual orientation, any of it can cause a kid to become a target.

We need to arm our children with tools to stop the bullying they experience (by alerting adults who are able and willing to act) and the bullying they merely witness. Barbara Coloroso has written an excellent book called The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander. It was key to my own healing and helping my son through a bullying incident when he was only four years old. Yes, four. It was shattering to me at the time, but luckily it was short-term, we removed him from the situation, he had no further contact with the two bullies, and he probably doesn't even remember it anymore (and is healthy and active and 10 and awesome with plenty of friends and comfortable in his own skin. He wears his hair long and gets mistaken for a girl at restaurants when the servers don't look very closely, and it doesn't bother him.) All this to say I think he's moved beyond the bullying, but it happens at ALL ages and perhaps when you as the parent least expect it. Barbara Coloroso's book helped me a ton.

I want to comment on this to say that I don't know what to say about this. I'm trying to make sense of this in my head and it just isn't working out. The ends don't meet. This is so unnecessary. That poor boy. That poor boy's family.

I don't like being speechless, but this takes the animation right out of me. There is no excuse. Our children should not feel driven to suicide only to have someone try to defend the actions of the bullies by giving percentages and excuses that bullying is normal.

I hope Jamey's mom is able to keep his voice alive for the sake of others suffering.

So sad. So unnecessary. The human race. I don't know how we survive. We destroy each other. We destroy our own habitat. It's disheartening.

Part II! The most common reason for this happening is being lgbtq, or accused of being lgbtq, even if untrue... and now we get those on the right running around claiming 'what's so bad about bullying? Why is telling someone gay is wrong bullying? Maybe it's a lesson they have to learn.'

I'd love to have a chat with these folks who make such inane claims. People say things to lgbtq folk, say things about lgbtq folk, they would not publicly say about any other minority. In fact, such comments are couched in fairness doctrine in news stories - for every positive story on the queer community, you will see quotes included from the 'other side', as if their opinion should be given equal weight. Do we give the Klan equal weight in news stories? I sure as hell hope not. Well, these groups are our nemesis, out to wipe us off the face of America. We are good people. It's time we stop treating their ugly viewpoint as one possessing any sort of legitimacy.

I hurt every time I see a story like this. Just before I reported to the prison camp, two 11 year olds within 2 hours of here took their lives for the same reason. I ached when it happened, then it was Atlanta and on and on and on. I talked on it at the camp, I talk on it to students, with students. I'll talk on it anywhere, name the place. If I can be of help, save one child from the pressure of ignorance, I'll do it.

To those who think bullying isn't a real issue. A dead child is prima facie evidence you are wrong. One child is too many. One child means we have the evidence we need to make sure it isn't two children. We have so much more than one. Act.

Part I! I dealt with some background bullying as a younger child, and by 'background', I mean all of our tight group of neighbourhood kids were tormented by a slightly older jerk.

Later, in high school, as it became apparent to others there were issues in me not in others, manifested on the outside as someone pretty withdrawn and in my own world, things went in a different direction, more one of the ultimate dork. I stayed by myself after school, and aside from maybe watching some tv, at night. I can recall a period around 7th grade where I stayed by myself for better than half a year, until a friend finally showed up and asked where the hell I'd been hiding out.

My first year of college, ironically the beginning of a time when I shed some shell, someone threw a phone receiver that *whizzed* by my ear. Had that struck... to this day, I have no idea why, I was looking the other way, talking with someone else, not doing anything. I dealt with these things silently, and really, maybe my issue helped in some way, because it tended to draw my mental resources, coping. I didn't have time to dwell too long on that stuff, but I did try like hell to fit in with a world where I really was not a good fit. You just don't get someone with more insecurity than was in me. Yet I never thought of suicide. I recognise now I was pretty f'ing depressed. I know our physician wished to medicate me, told my parents I was the most nervous child he'd ever seen. Parents refused (yay.) My way was to turtle.So I can relate to the feeling of pain these young people feel. I can even relate to the loss of hope, something that happened much later, not quite a decade ago, and it was ugly. At least as an adult, as disastrous as it was, I had coping skil, knowledge, support, and so on a 14 year old just does not have. I made it through. Too often, an adolescent fears humiliation. They hear the taunts in their dreams. Too often it seems there is no way out.

OK, while I understand the tragedy of this situation, where the HELL were this boys parents? He was 14 years old, not 18! Did anyone actually look at his blog? He clearly says he hates anyone from a particular High School, that he is a selfish punk, and the blog is filled with sexual content that is SO inappropriate for a child of this age to be publishing online. Come on. Being gay isn't the new "COOL", and it certainly doesn't excuse anyone from their own bad behavior. If he were my 14 year old child, and I saw some of the stuff he was publishing (Keep in mind that as a minor, having sex with ANYONE - male or female - is STILL considered a crime), I would have taken away his computer! And if he had been 'bullied for years' at a particular school, WHY didn't the parents remove him and send him to another school? I would have moved to a new community rather than have my child subjected to that day in and day out. YES this is a tragedy. But how about people taking responsibility all the way around? The teachers, the parents, Jamey himself.about a minute ago ·