At the risk of boring you with my intricate and multifaceted philosophies on where to spend and save in your beauty product budget (which, if I'm being honest, would likely involve charts, graphs, or at the very least, a Venn diagram or two), I will simply say this: I feel that mascara is one of the products where you can really save your money. The drugstore offers formulas that, in many instances, are of comparable quality to department store versions. And so it was that a few weeks ago, I found myself in the market for a new mascara, and the drugstore was my destination.

I had polled Twitter as to people's favorite tried-and-true drugstore mascaras, and off I went, armed with a fistful of recommendations.

And then I was blinded by this one:

L'Oreal Telescopic Explosion. Remember that name, people. Despite having been given great suggestions by a number of people, people PASSIONATELY advocating for this drugstore mascara or that, I (stupidly) went rogue, and opted for this, the unknown. I was equal parts frightened and fascinated by the blowfish/mace-looking wand, but I was DAZZLED by words like "breakthrough" and "multi-angle application" and (the vaguely porny-sounding) "telescopic explosion." And so, I bought it, and well...no. Just...no.

For frame of reference, here's how my eyes generally look, with and without mascara. (Shown here is my current favorite, Max Factor 2000 Calorie Extreme Lash Plumper.)

Annnnnd, here's how they look with my new acquisition, Telescopic Explosion. Please note: THIS IS AFTER ME UTILIZING A LASH COMB. FOR SERIOUS.

The mascara is, as you can see, is lumpy as well as clumpy. (And apparently, it also makes me talk like Dr. Seuss, but both of those words are QUITE APT.) There is, I think, too much freedom that comes with having a wee ball-type mascara applicator instead of the standard wand, and that, coupled with its lumpy-clumpy qualities, spelled disaster for me. I gave it a few more tries, but a few days ago, I quite literally drop kicked it into the trash.

I know we're generally all about touting things that we enjoy here, but sometimes it's also good to call attention to the things that DON'T work for us, and why. After all, although the mascara wasn't great for me, I gained a new mantra from the experience (which is that life is too short to walk around looking like Tammy-Faye Bakker), as well as a new life lesson (for the love of god, LISTEN to the nice people making mascara recommendations).

What has been YOUR biggest beauty fail lately?

Metalia also blogs here.