When Openness in Foster Adoption Is No Longer Beneficial

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[Editor's Note: Doing what is best for our children at any given time is one of the primary jobs of a parent. However, sometimes it can be hard to decide what's best in the easiest of situations. Immediate Mom shares about the internal dilemma she is having deciding if they need to pull back contact from their daughter's foster family. What once made sense for them doesn't seem to be working any more, but these kinds of situations don't come with a guide book. Do you have openness in your foster adopt story? How do you deal with issues like these? -Jenna]

The "What Ifs" of Pulling Back:

Five for Five #ds487Plain and simple - sharing is too hard. Allowing a child that I see as my child to have another mother would have been too hard for me. And yet, that's exactly the scenario I have now.

Sure, we changed her name to Auntie, but the fact remains K has a bond with her most recent foster family - specifically the foster mother - that is both positive and negative. And how to handle this situation is certainly not taught in pre-adoption courses.

As K's mom, my first instinct is to protect her - to be thankful she found us, and to start creating the family she deserves. Living in the past is a hinderance to that in a lot of ways. And yet, it's also what has made this transition to being a family possible in the first place.

Photo Credit: brendan-c.

Read more from The "What Ifs" of Pulling Back at Immediate Mom

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