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For many seasons of television, my husband and I have whittled away our time by watching the antics of various Americans who attempt to "out-wit, out-play and out-last" several dozen others in some remote area of the world. Yes, we are Survivor fans. (And I don't know why, but as I wrote that, Eye of the Tiger began playing in my mind, as if watching a tv show is some sort of challenge that I need to build up to.) Having watched many full moons of this contrived set up that somehow manages to provide me with fine entertainment, I can honestly say that I have never been more horrified by a contestant than I was by Corinne.
Anyone who watched the show will know that Corinne is a 29 year old pharmaceutical rep who ran around the island insulting people based on appearance, what she speculated the past appearance of others to be, and her assessment of intelligence. In her little Survivor bio, she is described as a "smart and sexy, self-described bitch" who "will tell it like it is and couldn't care less what people think of her for it." Now, here in the Feminism & Gender department, we (and I use the royal we here), LOVE woman who "tell it like it is!" You got opinions? Please, share them! This "women are meek" stereotype should be thrown into the ocean like the extra immunity idol was on Survivor. Standing up for yourself, being proud of your thoughts and accomplishments, and sharing with others is good. Many a woman who is fearless in her life is indeed labeled as a "bitch."
The problem with Corinne is that she is not just self-confident and forward with her opinions. Instead, she crosses a line where she is vicious. As Linda at Things What Things noted, Corinne acknowledged that her "personality" revolves around being mean to other people. Linda goes on to note:
There’s a particular ethos involved in this “I have no filter, and it makes me great” argument. It requires you to believe that having a filter means you’re a phony — that you make decisions about what to say and what not to say only if you lack the courage to face the consequences of truth-telling... It requires you to believe that you live in a world where everyone thinks nothing but awful, angry thoughts, so that “no filter” means “horrible and offensive...” And in fact, the reason people apply a filter about hurtful comments is generally not a fear of dealing with the consequences of the unfiltered truth, but a simple choice not to create those consequences. You always choose what to say and what not to say; either way, there’s a filter of sorts. You have a thought; you make a decision about what to say about it.
Linda goes on to explain how Corinne believes that being nice is the antithesis of having a personality and by that token, is automatically fake. On the flip side, viewers of the show also witnessed contestant Crystal described as a "bully." I know that editing can change how the audience perceives one's behavior, but I honestly thought that Crystal was just a woman with opinions who expressed them. Perhaps sometimes she expressed them forcefully, but she never cut anyone down and from what I saw, what she said seemed to be misinterpreted as harsher than what she intended. Here we have two conundrums: the strong woman (of color) who was described by others as a bully and the weak woman who associates strength with cruelty.
As feminists, it is important to continue to fight the convenient equation that self-confidence=bitch. At the same time, it is our responsibility to help children of all genders understand that true strength is not shown through bullying or being a "mean girl." Getting others to go along with you by exploiting others is not leadership. Women need to stand up for themselves and we need to promote ourselves, but doing so by destroying others is not a demonstration of self-confidence or leadership skills. Parents too often do not stop this behavior in children, falling back on the lame idea that "kids are cruel." Cruel children who are never told to stop their inappropriate behavior and shown other models tend to grow up into asshole adults. (Exhibit one: On a pre-show
