For When You Feel Disappointed

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I went to bed with a heavy heart last night. And early this morning as the sun arose, I found myself lying beneath my warm sheets mulling over my own disappointment with a couple of relationships in my life that never seem to truly mend and move forward in some sort of a healthy direction.

I hadn't said a word about my thoughts to anyone, but during this time of early morning reflection, my daughter slips into bed with me, wraps her arms around me and proclaims her love for me over and over - even dropping a note in my hand in which she had written about her adoration for her mom.

To be honest, my hazy mind was so wrapped up, I was momentarily distracted from her display of affection, tempted to take her goodness for granted, focusing all of my attention on my disappointment in others instead.

I found myself on the verge of choosing to dwell on pain over beauty, disappointment over contentment.

Because while I realized that as we each have disappointments, there is no way to measure the overflowing amounts of goodness and love that are mine.

In those quiet moments in bed holding hands with my little girl as a new morning sun reached through the tiny window and kissed our faces, I smiled and turned my attention from my disappointment towards her love, taking in her affection and proclaiming my adoration for her in return.

There in the warm glow of a dawning sun we shared the most beautiful and priceless moments together.

I realized that she represented all that is good about my life. Her love and so much more.

Right smack in the middle of disappointment, love was there, waiting to be noticed. Waiting to be given a chance and waiting to be received again.

But something important had to happen first, I had to make a choice. The decision before me was, "Do I dwell on the disappointment of situations or other people that I simply can't change, or do I choose to let it all go so that I don't miss the beauty of all that is right in front of me today?"

In life, disappointment is inevitable. It will come, and it will hurt. And we move on. Because disappointment only defines our lives to the extent that we allow it. 

What if we get to the end of our lives and realize we missed out the beauty of life because we couldn't see past the disappointments? What if we discover we wasted years entertaining doubt when what was sure was right there in front of us the whole time?

Like you, I haven't nearly got this all mastered yet. This is just me, a true work in progress, wrestling my way out of the dark to get to the light.

And not everyone in life will go with us on our journey and that's okay. But a few will.

Focus on them.

And give grace to all the rest.

When you've genuinely tried and failed and tried and failed again, there are times when it's okay to turn and walk away.

Grace means we always forgive, but love doesn't always mean we stay. When what isn't working is keeping us from what is, maybe it's time to let it go. Click to tweet this.

This morning, amidst the warmth of a morning sun and the tender authenticity of my daughter's quiet love, I discovered that when we stop focussing on the disappointments, all that is beautiful and worthy of our attention in the first place comes into light and wins over our heart.

It is then that we breathe new life into our lungs, our hearts begin to beat to the tune of a different drum, and we begin to live fully.

Disappointment in situations and in people are inevitable. Still, we choose what defines our lives.

The pain, or the beauty. Disappointment or love.

The choice is ours. Choose wisely. 

Rachel Rowell  @ saltedgrace.com

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