When You Just Want to Quit Again and Again


I saw this quote the other day and I can't stop thinking about it. It seems as though in the last 10 years or so, I've been faced with many life altering decisions. Decisions that were hard to make, but my "if you're unhappy about something, then fix it," attitude made it easier.

If I was unhappy about a friend being "unfriendly" well then I tried to repair it, and if the person was still making me miserable, I ended the friendship (this is probably why I have such few friends now).

Ditto for relationships. Don't love/like the person? Break up with them. Life's too short to be unhappy.

Don't like making $12 an hour? Find a job that pays more.

Don't like your job even though it pays more? Quit, find a new one, but make sure it's something you love.

But this quote, it mocks me with it's implying we should stay motivated to keep on trekking. In the past this would have been a huge motivational quote to me. But now, I find the quote confuses me. And here's why.
Recently, I was struggling with my blogging self and the decision to quit while was ahead. I thought I had it all figured out (quit) but then I read this stupid quote, and it made me second guess myself. Again. It's frustrating!

I started blogging in 2008 after a few friends introduced me to the blogging and social media world. I was so happy to learn about blogging, finally, I could put my writing talents to work. I started this blog to journal my thoughts, and after getting "the bug" I started another blog about products, reviews and mostly fashion finds. It was fun. But I had an ulterior motive. I wanted to make money from it. I blogged and blogged and blogged some more and have drooled over the thought of making tons of money from that little fashion blog. But my fun creative outlook started to feel like a chore and a thorn in my side. After the kids came, there just wasn't any time to devote hours and hours a week turning into a business. But I didn't want to "quit". I didn't want to admit I couldn't handle yet another project. So I kept blogging, then taking a break, then blogging some more, then taking another break. After each break I was invigorated but after a week or two of not being able to muster up the energy to post a fashion find or something cool I found on Pinterest, I started feeling empty again.

This brings me to a few days ago, when I read that quote. It made me think:  OK so before I quit, I need to remember why I started the fashion blog. Well if I'm being honest with myself, I started it to try and start a business. It's been almost 4 years in the making, it's nowhere close to being a business. Is it worth the time I take away from the kids and my husband to keep going? Even if it brought in money, would the money be worth the time I lose with the kids and the sleep I lose because I can only blog after 10:00 pm every night?

The answer is so clear to me. NO. It's just not worth it. Not right now. Maybe in a few years, when the kids are older and don't want to spend time with their mother I can start another opportunity for myself. But right now, having this platform to journal about my kids and struggles with PPD (and of course my Twitter to indulge in my celebrity gossip addiction) are enough for me.

So, even though for some people the quote might encourage them to keep on trekking, for me, it verified why it was OK to say goodbye to my blog and not feel guilty about quitting. I've realized the only person I'm letting down is myself, and life is too short for feeling inadequate.

It's time to cut the fat - 2013 is looming and I can't spend another year wishing for things I don't have rather than just enjoying the things that I DO have, like my family and friends and this blog where I get to share my life with those family members and friends!

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