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Relationship coach Rori Raye teaches women the completely original, simple-to-do and stunningly effective techniques for communication, confidence,...
 
 
 
 

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When Your Boyfriend Wants Space - Focus On You

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A reader comments:

“My boyfriend and I for almost 2 years now are often more off than
on. (On and Off) Of course I’ve done all the things should not do.
However he told me he needed some space away from me. Has stopped
calling me. I know we love each other, but how do I get him back. I
want a committed relationship with him, he’s obviously not ready said
he wants his freedom…”

Here’s my answer: First - thank you for joining this community and
asking a great question…He’s asked for space. That means, to me, that
you no longer are stuck in the “girlfriend trap” - and that you’re free
to date.

That means you don’t need to tell him anything (in fact - I don’t
want you contacting him for ANY REASON now, not after he’s expressly
“asked you for space”)

And by “Date” - I mean, lunch, coffee, dinner, a movie, a concert,
even making out. I do NOT suggest you have sex (not even more than
kissing) with anyone until this “relationship” feels resolved. (We’ll
keep talking…)

You are not dating to find a new man (although that might happen as
a bonus!). You’re dating to get a stronger sense of yourself, to feel
stronger inside, to get a fix on your own boundaries, and to have FUN.

You CANNOT help a relationship recover by being sad and miserable.

You can only help a relationship recover by recovering your own high
spirits and sense of fun, your own devotion to YOU and to having a good
life, good times, and good feelings.

This is not only the BEST way to attract a terrific man who can make
you happy, it’s the best way to heal everyone and everything around you.

You feel good about YOU, you share that fun and good feeling with
everyone just because it radiates out of you, and everyone feels better
and feels COMPELLED to be around you.

Love, Rori
http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/

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annacorrado 5 pts

My boyfriend recently asked for space, but we live together. What do I do?

Rori 5 pts

Thank you for the comment, christinajeanne.  I totally agree with you.  And for me, I think that dating a lot of men, all at the same time, is the fastest way to open up your world, learn new things about yourself, and learn to love yourself in the presence of a man. Sincerely, Rori

Rori 5 pts

Thank you for the comment, Roger - The Girlfriend Trap is basically when a woman who really wants to be married gets exclusively involved (in any way but sexually - although even that is negotiable) with a man pretty much anytime before the proposal.  If you'd like to read more about my ideas and work, please visit my blog and comment - I'd love to have a man's point of view. Sincerely, Rori

christinajeanne 5 pts

This is a great post! I think that when your man asks for space you should detach from him. Does it mean you will no longer have a realationship with him no. It just means you take time to take care of yourself. Weather you choose to date anyone else or not is up to you completely. Even spending time alone getting to know yourself better is a good idea. Go for walks, hang out with friends, read a good book, take a bubble bath. Don't just sit at home and wait for him to call or write. Live your life as best as you can and then weather he wants to be with you or not you will be all right no matter the outcome because you have yourself and your friends.

rsg2003 5 pts

Hi, love your post.  Quick comment/question.  Your reply makes it sound like she may have invested a great deal in the relationship and has failed to see a return (sorry, the current financial situation has me beating the economic metaphors to death).  I'm curious to hear some more of the background story to find out why casual dating would be a good course of action.  I've never seen casual dating as a way of 'finding' myself (as a man, I may be missing something)... I often tell my female friends to spend time in Singleville and work on finding out what makes them tick rather than to poke around the fringes of the dating seen in an attempt to water down the leftover feelings of a relationship where they may not have been appreciated... many friends of mine have ended up in short-term, superficial relationships or regretting one-night-stands afterwards.

Oh, and what's the "girlfriend trap"?  Thanks 

Roger S. Gil, M.A.
www.rogergil.com/blog