Where are all the middle-aged women bloggers?

Okay, I'm a real newby, and I realize, at this stage of my blogging life, I’m largely talking to myself, but I’ve been doing this fairly regularly for more than two months now, and I still can’t decide what I want my blog to be. I write like I’m going to be graded. I’ve been wandering around the Internet, going from blog to blog, finding blogs I sort of like and linking to blogs those bloggers like, but I can’t seem to hear the voice I want to hear.

(I should note that I’ve pretty much restricted my search to blogs by women, which in many — but certainly not all — cases kind of limits the conversation to the traditional women’s topics: love, relationships, parenting, fashion, body image, equality, etc.)

I’ll admit it. I envy the mommybloggers. Twenty years ago — barely married, relocated and jobless, holed up in a Victorian three-flat in Chicago with two very small boys and no one to talk to — I would have found those sites a lifeline, a very Godsend. But, despite the obvious fact that theirs are among the most powerful and prolific voices on the Web, the Mommys don’t speak to or for me. I have different issues now, and I’d like to talk about them and hear others talk as well.

I enjoy the literary blogs, particularly Maud Newton, with her combination of literary insights, family history and life in the Big City. I learned of her and several other great literary/arts blogs from another favorite blog by WSJournal critic Terry Teachout. And who couldn’t love Bossy? (Good luck on your trip, girl!) But there are some pretty dark voices out there, and while I enjoy a well-written rant, I tend to stay away from the really angry bloggers.

It’s not like I’m a neophyte. I may not choose to have a Facebook or a MySpace site, but back in the day I would almost daily log onto alt.fashion (”What are YOU wearing today?”) and alt.depression (with its multiple threads) to check in and join in the conversation. Does anyone else remember these sites? Am I such a dinosaur? It was just the ’90s! I know you’re out there!

If you are a woman of a certain age (doesn’t that sound better than middle-aged?) and know of blogs that talk comprehensively about this wonderful, frustrating stage of life, please let me know.

We need to talk.

Comments

 

Define middle aged?

I know it can be difficult to find women blogging who aren't talking about kids in pre-school or elementary school, but we're out there. And while I do still have a kid in elementary school, I consider myself "middle aged" - I don't really want to live past 90 so I've hit the middle of the road. ;-)

Have you checked out the blogroll of Ronni Bennett at Time Goes By? You'll find an awful lot of great bloggers there.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

 

What to Call Someone Who Isn't Young and Who
Isn't Old

Defining middle-age was a question that came up repeatedly at the Boomer Business Summit this past week in DC.  No one had the answer but likewise no one was crazy about:

  • middle-age
  • Baby Boomer
  • Boomer
  • pre-senior
  • third age

It strikes me that this might be a great topic for Blogher to tackle.  Like the "letter to my body" project, maybe there's some energy for a community dialog on what women want to be called in midlife when, for many of us, that might extend until we're 80.  We're redefining to ourselves and the world at large what aging is but no one knows what to call it. 

Midlife Muse

http://midlifesatrip.com

 

Not defining myself by age

I am in my early 50s but I have people from their twenties into their seventies reading my blog.  I don't like to get bogged down by age because other people bring their expectations to who you are based on what they think age means.

 In this society, I think you have to be careful about labels.  Similarly, I don't like to define myself by my ethnicity although my name probably sends a signal.

my blog is blog.candelariasilva.com

I have uploaded a few entires to this site but haven't seen them.

 

Labels

Candelaria--

I know what you mean about labels having been the recipient of many by this time in my life.  I'm old enough to have been called "colored", "Negro", "Black", "Afro-American", "African-American" and a few derogatory names that I don't say. 

Labels to me represent the stereotypes that have one person standing on one side of the line in the sand, so to speak, and another person somehow different standing on the other side. 

What I don't mind is a identifier I pick for myself.  For instance, if someone is refering to my ethnicity, I prefer to be called "Black".  As for my citizenship, I'm an "American", plain and simple.  Don't call me "articulate" even though I am and even at my age, I still might answer to "cute"--if that label gets thrown my way.

As for this period of midlife, I don't know yet what I want to answer to.  So for me it's not about a label but more about what to call me on my journey through midlife to whenever I decide that I have enough years and wisdom to be called "elder".   

Long-winded way to get to my point that I get your point and I don't have the answers, just some questions.

Midlife Muse

http://midlifesatrip.com

 

Aren't labels kind of Old?

You know, maybe our whole problem is all the labeling that our world seems to be so fond of. Back in the day, we were men, women, boys and girls. I personally consider myself nothing more than a grown-up. And it took me 50 years to feel this way. Linda

 

call them bloomacious!

There's a lot of names but few really characterize the whole age group since it's so diverse.

http://www.bloomacious.com

 

Carol Solow Freedman

Carol Solow Freedman

 

Middle Aged Bloggers: I'm one, too

I, too am a midlife blogger, with a focus on the experiences of midlife mothers of children with special needs. I am obviously still struggling with some of the technology of blogging, since I wrote an extensive response to your post, previewed it, posted it and volia - it came up as a blank!

I'll try again. My blog focuses on the special challenges of going through midlife while mothering children with disabilities - I almost named it "Hot flashes and melt downs" but decided on "A Different Nest." I have an eight-year old son with autism, and also a 14-year old son (who can provide some IT help!)

I found that many disability blogs and web sites were more targeted to younger mothers with younger chilldren; my blog is more for the mom who is looking to foster independence and inclusion for their child while meeting her own need for sleep, relaxation, and maybe a martini with friends now and then!

Blogger staff: How do I leave a permalink for my blog with my signature?

A Different Nest
http://adifferentnest.blogspot.com

Carol

 

Count me in

And I bet Catherine's list of female political bloggers has women over 40 (or so!) on it too. We are out here - absolutely! :)

Jill
Writes Like She Talks

 

Forty-Something...

I admit, I'm Forty-Something...And the "Catherine" with a list of political bloggers that Jill just mentioned (thanks for the link Jill). I think you'll find many women our age are blogging, and many of them are here on BlogHer.

I checked out your blog, and it looks great. I would suggest you keep blogging about the things you are passionate about, and participate in the conversations here on BlogHer...before you know it, you will find what you are looking for.

:-)

Contributing Editor Catherine Morgan
CatherineBlogs, The Political Voices of Women, Care2 Election Blog

 

Visited your blog

And left a comment. You're not alone! :)

_____________________________
bohemiology my personal blog
blogtations sort of like brainyquote, just with sayings only by bloggers

 

I'm Almost Finished Plowing Up The North 40

I don't write about being middle aged because I don't know what that means to me yet. I'm getting clues about aches and pains, and the need to refrain from bopping stupid people.

I write about who I am at this time. I am planning to write/video about each of my decade on my blog as a self-memorial. I'm more shocked than anything that I am still here. I've seen what has come before and what is coming down the road and it is thrilling.

Lusty Dusties Power!

Gena - Out On The Stoop

 

Plowing up the North 40

LOVE that subject line, Gena. Mind if I borrow it?

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

 

A Voice

Msmeta - I was doing the same thing this evening, searching for blogs that appealed to me, my middle aged self. I don't usually admit that tag. Not that I hide my age, I don't. I'm so eager to dive into new things it doesn't seem that I have aged, rather the reverse.

What am I looking for? An arena to be heard and to listen. A place to discuss teenagers, new relationships and a not so new body, a busy career or lack of one. Self discovery, confidence, what to wear, family dynamics, alone time and what comes next in life.

Quite surprising I find myself lacking a circle of friends and minding their absence. I kept myself so busy with work, marriages (all 3!) and moving, I never made the time. I too don't have a page on facebook or my space, my daughter would be horrified not to mention I don't see the need. I just learned how to text message, barely.

I shall bookmark this site in hopes that it is what I am looking for ....

Kathryn

 

Not defining myself by age

Good and plenty!

 I am definitely "middle-aged" but I don't define myself by that.  I like interesting people and find that I relate to a wide range of people in their 30s-60s.  I even have a few readers of my blog who are teenagers and 20-something because they met me through work or something.

I just write about what's going on.  When I mention my granddaughter and daughter or son, that certainly shows my age but then I write about things that aren't about age.

Check out my blog - blog.candelariasilva.com

I've put a few entries up on blogher but worry that they're lost in this vast universe.

I, too, have found myself feeling a little isolated because people are moving, transitioning, etc.

 

Glad to hear an echo

Glad to hear an echo

 

Middle aged and lonely.

I am new at this. I guess the whole idea of my being here is to communicate with people my own age.  I need somewhere to share my story and to ask questions.

 

We're here.

We're here. Though even at middle age, I am still dealing with an elementary aged daughter. Come on over to my place and we'll "chat!"

PunditMom
http://punditmom1.blogspot.com
Contributing Editor, Politics & News

 

A Bit Passed Middle Age

I'm more post-menopausal, but I understand about the difference in talking to young moms with babies and talking to people who have already experienced quite a bit of life. I, like you, wasn't totally sure there were any "slightly older" women out here.
I will go over and have a read on your blog. I'm looking forward to it.

Ladybeams

http://www.ldbeams.wordpress.com

http://www.lauriannsnewlife.blogspot.com

h

 

Many of us here!

I'm 43, so I guess that would include me.   I'm not sure how much I blog about "middle-aged things."  I'm a single non-Mom.  Anyway, welcome to the blogosphere!

 http://www.analisfirstamendment.blogspot.com/

 

Middle Age?

Well, let's see....if I live to be 114 I am middle age! So I guess you could say I have been middle age and now I'm not but I have no idea what I am right now. I'm not old...HEY! I can see you laughing, but I truly don't feel old. Hmmm, what is between middle age and old age?

http://www.jannysplace.com

 

In the Middle TOO..

 

42! Raising a teenager (16 years old with permit to drive)  I am rapidly feeling beyond middle age though ;)

 Rhonda

http://www.recipecarousel.com/blog

 

I hear you and I agree

I hear you and I agree completely.  The world of moms is wonderfully covered, but those of us who don't identify that way--not so much.  I've brought this up with some CEs at Blogher two years ago and then more specifically last year at the conference in Chicago.  I was told then that the issue was being handled.  Some nine months later, I still don't see a CE handling that beat.  We are out there, lots of us, but our voices are having a hard time getting through.  I'll go to your blog, Ms. Meta, and thanks for bringing it up again.

By Jane

ByJane.blogspot.com

 

It's such a wide-open and difficult topic..

It's such a wide open and difficult topic to cover.  Look at the women who responded so far:

they have been mothers  and non-mothers. Politcal and not.

There ARE a number of us out there (hey, at 55 I consider myself middle-aged) but I don't think most of us are writing about WHAT IT'S LIKE/WHAT IT MEANS to be middle-aged.

You could read my blogs and not know my age.  Would that eliminate me from your list?  

I think that by this stage of my life... though it is constantly changing and wow are some of the changes dramatic!... they are not changes that I would shape an entire blog around.

When you ask where the middleaged women are, what specifically are you asking for?  If we blog?  YES!  In huge numbers.  If we blog about being "middle aged" No.  not so much.  Not any more than young bloggers specifically blog about what it's like to be a college student, or a quarterlifer. 

They ARE college students, quarterlifers, mothers, newly weds.  They blog about  what interests them.. which may have little connection to their age.

Oh, and BTW.. I DO have a myspace identity (I'm only there for the music).. and a Facebook profile (how else would I play Scrabulous with my buds?)  And I've been a member of Boomers since it was a private CWRU usenet group..  

Debra
A Stitch In Time
Deb's Daily Distractions

 

Midlife Women: The Fastest Growing Demogaphic

Debra,

I don't think the topic is any more wide-open and difficult to cover than the Mommyblogger genre. Look at how many varieties of 'mom' there are, and somehow they manage to be seen as a viable group--to write to and to market to. I'd like similar consideration. I'd like to read about women who are past childrearing/bearing age and dealing with the issues that are specific to us: midlife career changes, second and third relationships, sexuality after menopause. It's not that I don't care about women who are dealing with the Stay At Home vs Go to Work after kids issue. But the considerations of early retirement, I need to have expert opinion on that. I'd like to see my body and my age and, therefore, my issues addressed in the fashion and beauty section. I'd like to see my health issues addressed in Blogher regularly and specifically, the way it's done for reproductive health issues. In all of these topics, and others, I can think of solid story ideas that should be covered by Blogher.

More magazine does all this very well; why can't Blogher? Perhaps it's because those who make the critical decisions at Blogher are not yet of that demographic, and so it's not on their radar. But it will be, and should be for those of us who are there now. In this I'm afraid that Blogher has not provided the vision and been the support for us that it has been for the younger women who identify as mommybloggers.

As I'm writing this, I'm thinking--Hillary Clinton doesn't have a voice here, and maybe that's why she hasn't spoken to us.

By Jane
ByJane.blogspot.com

 

If You Build It They Will Come

Because you are right there are specific issues that need to be shared with the ML's. And there are blogs that address menopausal issues but a ML women isn't just about the change.

The question is are there women ML bloggers that specifically deal with mid life topics consistantly. It might be that we've incorporated our being with the totality of life and not just focused on a specific aspect.

But I might be wrong. I've never searched for ML specific blogs. Why not whip up a sample post and show folks what is needed?

Hint, hint.

Gena - Out On The Stoop

 

Real Life Midlife Issue

OK Gena I'll accept your challenge.  Here's a sample of the type of midlife issue I blog on as I try to use humor to counteract the sadness I feel about my mother's dementia: 

I was out visiting my mom recently at the Alzheimer's facilty where she lives.  Mom perpetually believes that she is living in her "dorm room" and has to move to another room upstairs.  As a result, she packs everything in her room--everyday.  The thing that's hardest to find when we unpack her is the TV remote.

Each visit I try to ferret the damn thing out from its latest hiding place to support my fantasy that my mother actually watches TV.  She doesn't.  But for some reason it comforts me to think that, despite her dementia, she has the ability to concentrate on a TV show.  She can't.

This last time as I searched for the remote, Mom just sat there and watched me intently.  After going through the closet with no luck, I headed to the dresser.  Mom continued to watch.  

Now for the squeamish and those who believe that possession of the remote is a sacred thing, like my dad did--you may want to stop reading here.  Don't say I didn't warn you. 

I pulled out the bottom dresser drawer and there was the remote in all its glory lying next to the toilet brush from Mom's bathroom.  Eeeewww!!

As I gingerly pulled out the toilet brush and remote, I saw a little smile curve the corners of Mom's mouth.  She didn't say a word but I'll lay you a dollar to a donut that she was remembering those days when Dad used to hog the remote and thinking---

"You can have it honey."

Midlife Muse

http://midlifesatrip.com

 

 Remember, life is a

 Remember, life is a journey, not a destination. Here's to Living Well! www.themadgoddess.blogspot.com & www.lwbms.blogspot.com

 

Right On Jane

 I think the underlying sentiment of most of the comments here is that we want to be viewed as a unique segment of the society with individual concerns and needs.  Like the middle child in a family where the focus is split between the oldest and the youngest, we are saying, "Hey, remember me?"

We weren't always in the middle.  For a brief, shining moment in life, we were the baby and now we are feeling overlooked.

 A question - Do you think midlife is different for men and if yes, how so?

Remember, life is a journey, not a destination. Here's to Living Well! www.themadgoddess.blogspot.com & www.lwbms.blogspot.com

 

Another New Midlife Blogger

I just joined Blogher this week and was also wondering where the other bloggers of a certain age hung out.  Thanks Msmeta for asking the question.  You created the breadcrumbs on the path for middle-age (although I prefer midlife) blogging women to find one another here. 

I'm a 56 year old post-menopausal divorced mother of a 32 year old son, daughter of an 88 year old mom with  Alzheimer's, half orphaned by the death of my father, aunt to a 4 year old niece who my sister adopted at 49 years old, drop-out corporate exec and attorney in my 3rd act as a life coach, gardener and knitter trying to make sense of my journey through the wisdom and experience of others in midlife like me. 

A year ago I didn't even know what a blog was and now I blog pretty much daily on the good, bad and the ugly of midlife.  Despite the ups and downs, I wouldn't miss this trip for the world!  And that's what I blog about. 

I'm usually one of the oldest on the sites I visit--not a mommyblogger yet not an elderblogger either.  It's kind of like being the middle child in a family--sometimes you feel like you don't quite fit.  I hope it's different here on Blogher and maybe, ByJane, that just happens over time and because we're here.

So I'd love to talk with all of you--Msmeta, Carol, Denise, Jill, Catherine, Musing, Gena, Tanis, Pundit Mom, Ladybeams, Anali, Jan MBSC, Rhonda, ByJane and Debra.  And I'm glad to know you're here.

Midlife Muse

http://midlifesatrip.com