Where Did You Learn about Step-Dads, Sweetie?

So my 7-year-old said to a guy I've been seeing on & off last night (LONG story but suffice it to say that he LOVES my kids and the feeling is mutual), "How about you marry Mommy and then you can be my step-dad?" *gulp*

Now, I didn't even know that my son *knew* the word step-dad. He heard it at school would be my guess. His question kind of warmed my heart and broke my heart at the same time. The exhole tries to manipulate him I recently found out by telling him how MUCH he's going to "miss him" when he goes back to Mommy. Keep in mind this child is VERY sensitive and VERY emotional so these types of ploys work on him. He'll cry at night before bed saying he misses his Daddy and honestly it was hurting my feelings for awhile until one night I asked him about it and he said, "Well, Daddy misses me when I'm not there." HELLO!? You are putting YOUR feelings on your CHILD and making HIM feel guilty about YOUR feelings? Fucking DOUCHEBAG.

So whenever said guy who I've been seeing is over, my son barely mentions his Dad. Both of my boys have even accidentally referred to him as Dad. He plays with my kids, showers them with attention, and is just a really good guy for them and with them. Both of my sons have stated that they love him to me at various times, too. And yeah, I know on his part I'm sure it's b/c he wants to be with me and is in love with me as well, but shit, I love having someone around who actually PAYS ATTENTION TO THEM and gives a shit about them as people. It seems like all my exhole does is use them against me and I know for a FACT he's on his phone/computer/gaming most of the time he's with them. Well, I don't know this for a fact but that's how it was when we were together. I did almost ALL of the parenting while he used "working on his boat" as an excuse not to even be around us. Oh, and going to happy hours, drinking too much, and sleeping with other women, but I digress...

So...I don't know. I don't know where I'm going with this but it did make me realize that if I have someone in my life it'll help my kids out eventually. For various reasons the person I've been seeing on & off will not end up being this person if something doesn't drastically change and honestly I don't think I could ever live full-time with a man ever again anyway, but I do cherish the happiness my kids get when they spend time with him. And honestly, it gives me time to cook the dinner/clean the house, etc. without them being all over me the entire time. It's all about my kids to me. I wish that's what it was about with the exhole, but yet again something went down last night that proved it IS NOT about them, it's always about him. I will get into that in another post later, but suffice it to say that shopping with your kids at 8:30PM at Walmart on a school night is not in their best interests. How aboutyou shop the WEEK you have that the kids are NOT around??? That's what I do. DUH. They are IN BED at my house EVERY night at 8:30PM. Kids NEED sleep, not to be carted around doing whatever the fuck you forgot to do in the WEEK you weren't with them.

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