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Hi! My name is Zandria, and I live in Washington, DC. I wrote for BlogHer.com for over three years (on topics related to single life and online datin...
 
 
 
 

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Where do single women find information?

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We have a lot on our minds. We want information fast. If we perform a search that happens to include the words “single” and “woman,” we want relevant results, not a bunch of dating sites. We can't change what’s out there, but there are a few places where single women can find helpful information.

Single Edition – “the first lifestyle destination for unmarried individuals that will deliver daily value to help them manage their everyday lives.” They tackle questions such as, Do I need to have a will if I’m single?

Quirkyalone – a site that describes itself as “a community of independent thought on singledom, life, and love.”

GenPink – a site for twenty-something women, “balancing family and work, technology, entertainment, and exploration of new ideas.”

What are single women writing about? Here are some of the things on our mind:

1) What if something unexpected happens when I’m alone?

Kat got her finger stuck in a fireplace grate (luckily, she was able to free herself after several minutes of maneuvering), which caused her to think about how things can happen as a single women when nobody else is around. She called this type of alone the “’I'm going to die and no one's going to miss me until it's too late’ kind of alone.”

[Getting my finger stuck] was a reminder of the realities of living alone, and, actually, of life itself. You are born alone, and you die alone. Better fill up the in-between time with people who'll miss you enough to check in on you.

2) How do I deal with stress?

Mayan gives 10 reasons why singles should celebrate their singlehood, and #8 has to do with the quality of our friendships.

Reason #8: You have better friendships. Significant others are a wonderful thing, no doubt, but friends count, too. And on that front, one study found that, when women get married and have children, they spend much less time with their friends—less than five hours a week, down from 14 hours. Singles, however, often have the greatest sense of friendship and community—which can actually decrease stress levels, according to researchers at UCLA.

Here are 101 Ways to Fight the Stress Out of Your Life.

And don’t forget – toxic marriages can cause stress, too.

3) I feel like a third wheel when I go out with a couple.

I’ve gone out with couples where I was the only single person, and I’ve also had more than a few couples as roommates. It’s not an ideal situation.

Ginger has a Third Wheel Manifesto.

[O]nce you start dating it's as if your new personality arrived from a parallel universe. It's bizarre; you seem to have lost brain cells. Apparently you all possess dictionaries that only supply pet names like Boo Bear, Honey Love, Noodle, Cupcake, Pumpkin and Love Muffin.

I mean, are those names or menu items? Are you dating them or eating them? Make up your mind.

Ever notice that when you engage us in conversation using these names that we supply a look of confusion and proceed to ask you "whom are you referring to?" Then you follow up by saying, "you know who I'm talking about, my boo."

Now listen up, because you need to know this. We want you to know this. Yes, we do know whom you're speaking. But our rulebook on such matters clearly state…in order to preserve ones dignity a reply of no is required, a firm "no, I don't know who you're talking about".

This allows us to retain some self-respect. This is not story time; you are not reading to children. Please, spare us and use their real names.

4) I have less in common with my friend now that she’s married and/or has a child.

One Pale Fire talks about her predicament.

Then I was just thinking I don't spend enough time hanging with Duffy and Susan and Simone... I wonder why I don't do that, they are nicer to be with then a few other people I can think of. I guess the married with children thing is hard for a single sometimes just because there is less in common to share. It's not that I think they are really boring or anything I just don't have much to say about property tax and what not.

5) How do I handle being a part of the singles scene?

KC went to a church-sponsored “Christmas dinner activity for single people,” but the men in attendance were less than ideal.

[The

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Zandria 5 pts

Laurie: I totally agree about the singles events! I've never actually been to one, but I wouldn't WANT to go -- I think it would be painful.

InMyHeels: Thanks for sharing your site! I'll check it out. :)

Personal blog: Keep Up With Me ( http://www.zandria.us )
BlogHer blog: Life - Singles ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/zandria )

InMyHeels 5 pts

I think my site qualifies as a place where single women can go find information. I am a twenty something and I have learned alot so far about living on my own.. I plan to share my findings on InMyHeels.com because life as a single person is another animal all in itself.

It can be great, it can be scary, and it should be addressed
I like this list you compiled here - I am a fan of GenPink.com

www.inmyheels.com ( http://www.inmyheels.com )

lauriewrites 6 pts

It is weird to think that no one would know if you were in trouble if something happened and you're living alone. I've tried to maintain pretty close ties with friends and family so they're aware and I'm in touch on a pretty regular basis. But I've had a moment similar to the "fireplace grate" experience and it's freaky. Still, it could happen to anyone because we're all of us alone at some points. (I think? Right? Maybe not...)

I do NOT like specifically single events and had a similar experience at a church-sponsored singles function. I prefer to mix with lots of different people, coupled and not. It just works better that way for me. I've been through the third-wheel feeling but mostly I've found that if I'm hanging out with the right people it isn't an issue.

Great collection of information here.

Laurie
LaurieWrites ( http://lauriewrites.typepad.com )