Where do you find an acceptable man?
By Widow World on March 23, 2014
Where to start? At 66 years old, after being married to my best friend for nearly 40 years, and thoughtfully and prayerfully deciding I want another man to hold me in his arms, where do I find him?
I made a list of the qualifications I was looking for (and most of them were right out of my late husband's play book). What's important to me? First and foremost, I must feel safe, safe that this man must take great care of me and safe that this man has no diseases!!! Sounds funny when I think about it, but dating in 2014 is a whole lot different than the 60's and 70's! I want a gentle soul, one with a sense of humor who can make me laugh, a man who is concerned with his fellow citizens, handsome to me, successful in life, well-read, a good conversationalist, polite and well-mannered, spiritual, and with strong arms to hold me! All of those things seemed completely reasonable to me, but how did I go about finding that someone? I actually thought about creating a "sort of" application but thought that might cause men to wonder about ME!!!!! (And we can't have that!)
NOTE: I live in a tiny village in the northern most area of lower Michigan. Today is March 23 and as I look up from my typing, out my kitchen window, the snow is piled higher than the top of my head and this morning's temperature is "0" (a little warmer than usual). I've only been here for 3 years so I don't really know that many men except the ones who are taken! What am I doing here you may ask? I have grandchildren here! Anymore questions?
Now, back to my story. How and where will I find a man who meets my requirements? One afternoon about 6 months ago my phone rings. The caller is a dear friend of mine I have know for 40+ years. Thrilled to hear her voice, we talk about all sorts of things. She finally tells me she ran into an old friend of mine who asked about me. Who, I ask? And she tells me. Well how 'bout that? She told him my husband had died, and I had moved away to be closer to young grandchildren. He tells her his wife had died. Then he asked for my phone number. My wonderful friend tells him she will call me and ask if it's alright with me to pass on my number. At first I said no because I really had no idea how to talk to another man, and then I thought I could posssibly help him in his grieving process as his wife had been dead for only 1 8 months. I was further along in my "widowed" journey than he. So I called him. (I should tell you now I dated this man before I married my husband AND had already been intimate with him!!!!) So, with my heart pounding, I dialed his number. Fortunately, it went immediately to voice mail and I hung up without leaving a message. After I hung up I thought "What am I doing"? My hands were shaking and my heart was pounding. Enough of this! Get back to what I was doing! Well, several hours later, my phone rang and when I answered, there he was!!!! He said he saw he had missed a call and was calling back. Once my voice calmed down a bit, we had our first phone conversation. It seemed even though we both were in different places, we could still connect on many levels. His voice sounded the same and his conversation took me right back to many years ago. And so it began. Where will this lead? I wasn't sure at this point but I did know it was lovely to talk to a man who wasn't afraid to talk to me! For the first time in a long time, my female heart smiled.
More to follow!!!
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