- Share This Post
- submit
- 6
-
Sparkle (0)
“I must be crazy. I am renovating a three bedroom house for a life I do not even have yet!” -- Diane Ladd in “Under the Tuscan Sun”.
Why is it that bits of wisdom fly to us like iron filings to a horseshoe magnet just when we need them? What universal energy sends these messages, unbidden? Is it God catching our attention? Or is it just the odd phenomenon experienced by pregnant women? When one is pregnant, everyone seems suddenly pregnant. Certain images seem suddenly iridescent and intimately related to us when we are in a heightened state of happiness or anxiety or despair.
But random or deliberate, it is true that any reinvention requires soul-nurishment to keep in motion.
So I was watching “Under the Tuscan Sun” for the umpteenth time. I was watching the movie while in the midst of packing for my move to my own three bedroom house that I am in the midst of renovating for my sole occupancy. Diane Ladd’s character spoke to me, it seemed. Maybe I was nuts. The movement from sanity to insanity is just a few packing boxes, some packing tape, a stubbed toe and a few slipped deadlines after all. But then her friend responded to her, explaining that at one point a need was felt to connect a railroad across a difficult stretch of Alps. People built the track even before the train that could traverse its difficulties was invented. Why? Because a way needed to be made. Ahhhh, that is what I need to hear!
This is silly, I thought. I make too much over these convenient messages. I changed the station to an interview with Tom Brokaw about his latest book. Charlie Rose was the interviewer, and I caught the end of the show, when they were discussing regret. Tom Brokaw said, that the only way to avoid regret in life is that if you have a chance to GO…..then GO.
So I went to my desk, shaking my head. Let’s see if this message stuff really is happening. I picked a random book from a stack of miscellaneous books waiting to be packed, without looking at the title. It was Maya Angelou’s On The Pulse of Morning her inaugural poem for Bill Clinton. The section I opened to said –
The horizon leans forward,
Offering you space
To place new steps of change…
I confess to having felt my own share of anxiety about this move. Mixed with the excitement of reinvention are all the typical anxieties over whether or not this is a right decision. My Inner Trickster keeps trying to convince me that decisions are not changeable. Goodness me, if it is the wrong decision, I’ll just make another one.
I had to laugh about the persistence of images in my day – the Universe really does have to rap me sideways for me to get the point. Sometimes it seems as though there is such a hum of wisdom around us that we glide through every day. I often do not listen for it. But when I slow down a bit and pay attention, the world is full of such teaching.
Whether it is the character in Tuscan Sun saying that a way sometimes needs to be made first before life can rush in to fill it, or Maya reminding me that the world is full of choices, or Tom Brokaw urging me without knowing it to GO>>GO..well, I take encouragement. I choose to be uplifted this day, past struggle, past anxiety. I trade my fear for gratitude that I get to do this in the first place.
Then the mover calls and informs me that the move is delayed now by three days because of the blizzard conditions up north, so we won’t be loading up the truck tomorrow; we will do so on Tuesday. And we won’t be unloading it on Sunday; we will do so on Wednesday. I cancel phone install and cable install in Massachusetts, and delay shut-offs here. I call people who were going to help me unpack and cancel. They work during the week so I am SOL on extra help unpacking for the moving day. I suppose I could look at that as an omen, but no thanks.
I just worked my emotional self to a uplifted frazzle getting hopeful about all this. I’ll be hornswoggled if I am giving up all that hard work because of a blizzard. I guess I’ll just figure out
