Where does it all come from?
We've really taken to calling baby girl, "Button." After all, she is as cute as a button! And this little button has been busy! She has been charming everyone at the hospital. Not just her Mom-Mom, but other patients, the staff, and other visitors. It's pretty tough being a cute button! You are always on stage! :) But my little button, she knows how to work the crowd! Just put on a tutu and an adorable onesie, and you are good to go. So what does the Button do when she is not performing? She poops. In the car seat. Excuse me, let me re-phrase...through to the car seat. I mean come on diapers! You are costing me an arm and a leg! Work! But I can't even blame the good people at Pampers. Because she manages to completely fill it and then spill over. They absorb all that they can. They do their part and leave the rest in God's hands. And Mommy's hands. Mommy's poopy-covered hands. Ah, motherhood. Convenient how my husband is always in the driver's seat and can only manage to be the "Clean Wipes Passer." Right, because we know that's a tough gig. Sheesh! Or better yet, he is in his own car because he came straight from work and misses the entire show! We even had to go up a size in diapers. The added real estate didn't seem to help matters. My husband is convinced she stores poop in her elbows. I'm beginning to think he's right. And I HATE when he's right. :) Being right is Mommy's job! Ah, but there is of course a silver lining. And the good news is that I am now the champion of road-side diaper changes. My specialty? Bad neighborhoods in/around the city. Because that is Button's thing...wait until we approach a rougher side of town and then BAM! An explosion of epic proportions. But I like to think that Button is just helping me meet new people. Because when people, albeit some shady characters, walk by and look in our windows, I know what they're NOT thinking. They are not thinking..."let's rob this girl and her baby." They are probably thinking..."Good Lord, what IS that smell? Let's get out of here!" The ladies who walk by the car give me a knowing smile, and I know. They've been where I am. In an unfamiliar setting, surrounded by poop. It is a humbling experience. While changing the extreme messes, I force myself to think about other things to distract myself from gagging. The last time, I was thinking, what would I do if someone attempted to hold up my car and rob me? What would they get? I NEVER carry cash and I only have a debit card that I could cancel in under 2 seconds. The greatest value I have is a cell phone that you can probably buy for less than $50. Other enticing items up for grabs? Baby wipes, rattles, hair rubber bands, tissues, and loose change. Pretty sweet stuff. I don't think I'm a hot target for thieves. In other, less disgusting news, Button rolled over yesterday! It was pretty awesome! She did it three times, each time rolling from her back onto her belly. It was awesome. I didn't get it on film. Yet. Stay tuned! Where was the strangest / most uncomfortable place you ever had to change a diaper? Did your baby roll over first from back to belly or belly to back? Isn't it amazing and terrifying all at once? Visions of baby-proofing flashed before my eyes...this house is a DANGER ZONE!!!!!!!! :) Back to work!
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