Is This Where I Speak or Stay Quiet? - Part 2

Image owner unknownStill, my mind was understandably on our vacation.  So, I hadn’t even thought to ask the number one question.  Is this a conversation in which I am permitted to have an opinion or do you just want to talk; to be heard?   In other words, is this where I speak or stay quiet?  I knew though!  To know her was to know; period. 

Going forward, my advice would be to get that out of the way before someone wants to have “a talk”.  If you happen to be dealing with someone with a similar personality, by all means, ask.  You want to make sure whether you are allowed to have an opinion.  Some people really just want to be heard.  That’s perfectly fine.  However; the ones to be most concerned about are the ones who want to talk, are ok with you having an opinion but, only if you agree with them.  Otherwise; don’t say anything at all, or it’s a problem. 

Not long after we reached our destination, I thought of checking my cell phone for messages.  It had been placed in the arm rest compartment during the entire trip.  I wasn’t even certain the reception had been sufficient the entire time.  I’d heard no phone ringing.  But, we had been out of the car a few times.  In checking, I noticed I’d received one missed call.  It was from the mom.  Initially, I figured it couldn’t be too important because no message was left.  I did notice at the time of the call we were still in route.  In my heart, I believed the call would’ve had nothing to do with whether we’d had a great trip.  Not even to show concern about whether we’d arrived safely.   Still, I left it alone.  My thought, I’m on vacation. 

The next morning, with the missed call on my mind again, I placed a call before the mom left for work.  I was immediately rushed off the phone under the guise she was pressed for time.  My gut feeling told me not to believe her.  But, I managed to put it out of my mind.  There was much to do and many to see.  Plenty to fill my mind!  We had an awesome time.  I really enjoyed the reality of being away. 

Prior to leaving home, we don’t tend to announce being away until we return.  So, upon our return, a few voice messages were waiting for us.  One was from the mom.  I noticed the time of the call matched with that missed call five days earlier.  She knew I wouldn’t be at home.  I knew that’s how she wanted it.  To have no response, just say what she wanted to say.  That, I did find disturbing.  The message said she didn’t like it when I said it was her fault her son was like he is but that she can’t take any credit for her daughter being as she is. 

Let me state right here that, what I said I said, is exactly what I said.  No more!  No less!  So, knowing that to be true, that’s the point where I pressed the delete button.  I’d heard enough.  I thought how entirely selfish that such an untruthful message just had to be left for me to receive upon returning from vacation.  Her real problem with me was that I hadn’t said what she needed to hear.  I hadn’t simply agreed with her.  So, that was a problem. 

Knowing she’d likely be at home but without the cell phone on, I left a voice message there.  No, I did not want to speak with her.  And by George, this was going to end today, I thought.  I stated how her message was not at all what I’d said.  I went on to say how I so didn’t deserve to return home to such nonsense.  Further, I stated I am so tired of folks wanting to have one way conversations.  If, in the future, I am to have no opinion, tell me that upfront.  The reality is, silence wouldn’t have been enough either.  Remember; I’d tried that. 

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