Where the streets have no name
By fuckedupmommy on May 29, 2012
I know it's wrong but sometimes I close my eyes after a day longer than anything I could have ever imagined in my twenties...and I think I would like to escape. Simply leave my house and walk out the door and simply walk and walk and walk.
I know. Not right. Not normal. Am on antidepressants. Husband knows. Shaking head with the absolute wrongness of the these feelings.
But most nights I do, I wish away my blessings, I forget about the good stuff and I just want to disappear.
I am finding life very hard right now. Depression is gripping me. My battle with cancer is going well but my life force and fight is at an all time low.
But I think about how devastated children can feel with the slightest upset in their parents lives. Then I snap back to my pretty good albeit boring reality and sleep..then...wake up and roll on through the next day...then unexpectedly a few nights later the aching desire to simply disappear returns.
Tomorrow I get this stupid tumour cut out.
I wonder if that wil help?