Where Is Your God?

I recently thought about asking my 13 year old niece this question: Where Is Your God?

Reason being for the past 11 years or so, I have been her closest advocate. Her mother has never been around and her grandmother just seems to have this weird vendetta against her just because of who her parents are. She has been pushed aside and rejected by her own brothers and sisters; a real Cinderella story in the making. Now at the age of 13, she is trying to figure all this chaos out and all she can come up with is that her family hates her.

Over the past year, I have moved away from my nieces and nephews due to other family responsibilities and lost much of my parental power in their lives. I’m actually kind of thankful for the change. Unfortunately, this has left my one niece very lost and forsaken. She has always been more like a daughter to me and I know her heart feels completely abandoned. 

It broke my heart to leave her behind. I would have packed her in my suitcase if I could.  I was so heartbroken that I tried to pray and couldn't. So one night, I was awake with a stirring in my soul. I sat up in my bed, raised my hands to the ceiling and told God: "This is your daughter. I hand over all power and control to you. I submit her into your Hands." At that moment I knew she would be okay. 

Recently she called me with so much heartache, she could hardly talk. I, her best advocate, couldn't give her the answer she wanted, nor save her from her heartbreak. After, I hung up the phone; I realized that somewhere through the years, I had become her God, her Savior and her Provider.  As much as I wanted to be all those things, I was left helpless. There I stood on one end of the line, helpless. My babygirl on the other end, hopeless. I failed her because even if I gave her the world, only God can give her exactly what she needs. 

If we cannot save ourselves and even more, our loved ones; my question to myself, my reader, and  my precious niece, is "Where is Your God??" 

"I lift up my eyes to the hills; where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Maker of Heaven and earth." ps121

- Juli Anna

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