In which Daniel is in prison

Keely just told me I was a terrible person.  What’s astonishing to me is that she is almost 22 years old and she JUST DISCOVERED THIS!  So, why was she saying that?  Well, you’re going to need a little history here so bear with me.


Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in my office (pretty much where I am right now) just playing on the computer and listening to tunes when Kevin called me.

Me:                  Hello?

Kevin:             Lynn, when’s the last time you talked to Daniel?

Me:                  This morning before he left for school, why?

Kevin:             My parents just got a strange phone call … hold on, they’re calling. I’ll call you back.

So, I’m thinking WTF but I go back to minding my own business when Kevin calls me back.


Me:                  Hello?

Kevin:             So my parents just talked to Daniel and they say he’s in jail up in Canada.

Me:                  (ok, I’m a bad person…I totally cracked up) What?

Kevin:             They got a call from a policeman in Canada saying that Daniel is in jail in Canada.

Me:                  That’s ridiculous… Daniels at school.

Kevin:             Please call the school

Me:                  I’m not calling the school

Kevin:             Lynn, call the school

So I call Greensboro Day School and ask for the Upper school office and nobody answers and there’s no way in hell that I’m leaving a message so I just don’t worry about it and I go take a shower.


While I’m in the shower the phone rings and I race to get it and there’s nobody there.  Now I’m dripping wet and not happy and thinking what in the world is going on.  Then Kevin calls again.


Me:                  Hello?

Kevin:             Did you call the school?

Me:                  Nobody answered in the office

Kevin:             CALL.  RIGHT.  NOW!

Me:                  FINE!


So I call the school and ask for the head of the upper school and I try to explain that my in-laws somehow think that Daniel is in jail for a drug arrest in Canada and can he please, please go make sure Daniel is in class.


Me:                  Hello?

Mr. Buxton:    Lynn, Daniel is in BC Calculus like he is supposed to be

Me:                  (laughing) yeah, sorry about that but this is very strange

Mr. Buxton:    I can’t imagine, out of all the kids around here that Daniel would end up in jail.


So I call Kevin back and he doesn’t answer to I’m sitting around thinking WTF when the phone rings.


Me:                  Hello?

Kevin:             Lynn?

Me:                  hey, Daniel is in school in BC Calc.  I bet he wishes he were in Canada.

Kevin:             It’s actually pretty bad

Me:                  I mean, he DOESN’T EVEN HAVE HIS PASSPORT WITH HIM!

Kevin:             Lynn, my parents got scammed.

Me:                  What?

Kevin:             Yeah, they’re hysterical now and I’ve sent them to the police

Me:                  Scammed? What the hell happened?

Kevin:             They got a call from a policeman saying that Daniel was driving to a funeral of a classmate and they were pulled over and drugs were found in the car.  While Daniel tested clean, the other kids didn’t and he was in jail.

Me:                  … and they believed this?

Kevin:             … then they put some kid who was crying on the phone saying “please don’t tell Dad, he’ll be so disappointed in me.  Let me tell him when I get home”

Me:                  What?

Kevin:             … the kid said it was his ONE phone call so he was crying and my mom and dad got upset so when the cop got back on the phone he said that they could post bail via Western Union

Me:                  OMG!

Kevin:             … then they sent more for a lawyer and stuff and this happened yesterday and they’ve been all upset since then thinking about what to do.

Me:                  Holy shit.

Kevin:             I just got mad at them and now they’re really, really upset.

Long story short.  My in-laws are in their 80’s, don’t use the internet and aren’t aware of these sorts of scams.  When they reported this to the state police they were one of a NUMBER of people who had been scammed by the same team.


Why am I writing all this out?  Because people, if you have older parents who aren’t used to these things, TALK TO THEM IMMEDIATELY about how these things operate.  These people were GOOD!  REALLY, REALLY GOOD.  They had an answer for everything from why they shouldn’t contact their grandson’s parents to why the cellphone calls were being routed through California.


If my in-laws had been aware that the elderly were constantly targeted for this type of thing, then maybe this could have been avoided which brings me to my next point.


WHY THE HELL ISN’T THE AARP sending out warnings about this type of stuff?  You read about it on the Internet all the time but it’s not usually in the mainstream media.  This should be something that everyone should be aware of.  THAT”S MY OPINION and let this serve as a PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.  My mother-in-law reads all the time but has never discovered that these types of scams exist.


Now, back to why I’m a bad person.  So obviously, my in-laws were devastated to hear they’d been snookered but of course, I still found the entire thing hilarious.  Kevin asked me to call to see if they were all right.


Me:                  Allison?

Allison:            Lynn…I’m so upset about this.

Me:                  Not to worry Allison.  I just grounded Daniel

Allison:            Why?

Me:                  I don’t think he should run off to Canada on a Thursday.  It was a school day.

Allison:            But he didn’t …

Me:                  And now he won’t … he’ll learn his lesson.

Allison:            (starting to laugh) You’re terrible!

Me:                  Not only that, I told him next time he gets thrown in jail that we are definitely not bailing him out.  He blew it.

Allison:            but Lynn …

Me:                  No Allison, you can’t go crying wolf around here

Allison:            Poor Daniel

Me:                  … also, I told him that we used his college funds for the scam and now he has to get a scholarship if he wants to go to school.

Allison:            Lynn!

Me:                  … also, I’m pretty sure I got scammed too!

Allison:            how?

Me:                  Well, they told us that Keely had a tumor and for a mere $40,000 they would be able to fix it at Duke.

Allison:            yeah

Me:                  and now it’s back and they say they MIGHT have to operate again.

Allison:            yeah

Me:                  sounds like a scam to me…same tumor, same operation

Allison:            Lynn, Lynn, Lynn (I could practically hear her head shaking)

HAHAHA … so I was recounting the entire story and conversation to Keely when she said to me “mom, you’re a terrible person.”




It’s true that nothing is sacred but honestly, isn’t just about everything a great story?


I’m just saying …

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