Which Gleeker Does Britney Kiss in Her Glee Episode?
You know what’s hard? Trying to figure out how Britney Spears is going to be featured in the upcoming Glee special episode based on a few lousy, teasing Tweets -- and most importantly, which Glee star gets a famed Britney chick kiss. That’s what’s hard.
Fans have known for some time that a Britney tribute episode was in the works for the upcoming fall season. MTV says that the Pop Princess renewed attention via social media by Tweeting about photos from the set that she posted on TwitPic and Facebook:
After devoting episodes to the dance-floor-filling repertoires of Madonna and Lady Gaga, "Glee" is hard at work bringing Spears' string of hits to William McKinley High. So far, Spears, who makes a cameo in the upcoming episode, is enjoying the process.
"About to do my first shot of the day for Glee tweeties! Here we goooo!" Spears tweeted. The "Circus" singer later added, "What's up GLEEKS? Having so much fun on set!! Can't wait for you guys to see the episode!"
Fans assume that like previous special Glee episodes devoted to Madonna and Lady Gaga, the episode entitled “Britney, Britney, Britney” will feature Spears’ songs integrated into Glee storylines and performed by cast members. But though neither Madonna nor Lady Gaga appeared on camera, Britney herself is going to be featured onscreen. This begs questions (and obsessions) about how Glee writers will utilize Britney in the episode.
My best guess -- that Glee would simply re-shoot the entire Madonna episode but instead of happening in a high school, the kids would be with new lunch lady Britney in a parallel universe where they dance in front of an island cave that emits an ominous plume of smoke -- was dashed when the L.A. Times blog reported that Britney will appear as herself in dream sequences:
Show creator Ryan Murphy said the ladies of McKinley High will indulge in some dreamy fantasies of how they can be like the pop princess, thanks to some anesthesia from the dentist's office, as you know John Stamos has joined the guest-star ranks as said dentist.
So that’s wide-open! What types of dream images might a dose from Uncle Jesse conjure in the hearts and minds of McKinley’s finest cheerleaders and gleeks? Some Britney-esque stoned images I’d love to see:
- Rachel and Britney wrapped in an albino python while singing I'm a Slave 4 U while Will, Puck and Finn dancing in zebra suits.
- Remember when Britney proposed to Kevin Federline, then he said "no," they he said "yes," then they invited their family to an engagement party that was -- surprise! -- a wedding, and we all hoped we were being Punk'd by Ashton, but it was for real? Good times, good times. They just don’t make TV like Chaotic anymore, but Glee can try. Shuester and Emma, with Britney as the Chaplain. GO!
- Kurt approaches Britney and kneels. She takes Mickey Mouse ears off of his head. She places a sparkly nude-colored bodysuit into his outstretched hands. Dawn breaks, angels sing, stars align, fireworks explode! Bedecked in glamour, Kurt shimmies off into the clouds to live happily ever after.
- Four words: Quinn shaves her head.
Britney in Glee will probably be something like that, don’t you think?
Speculation is bubbling about the songlist, too. I wonder if Rachel will sing Lucky? Maybe the ensemble could do Toxic. If we all behave well and beautiful miracles happen (oh please oh please) perhaps Sue will sing Oops I did it again. Though nothing, I mean nothing, could be better than Sue in Vogue. Seriously, if you feel like you might be catching something, like the flu or ennui, watch the Vogue clip from the Glee Madonna tribute. It heals.
I trust the Glee writers to give us a great episode -- I think a great season is ahead -- so I’m sure I will enjoy whatever they create using Britney and her bubbletastic body of work. As long as they make sure that Sue and Britney reenact The Kiss, I’ll be content. But if Sue doesn’t get that kiss, now THAT will be hard.
What about you? What does your circus gypsy’s crystal ball reveal about Britney and Glee?
Contributing Editor Deb Rox strikes a pose at Deb on the Rocks and does her very, very best not to Tweet spoilers for her West Coast friends from her Twitter stream. (Not that she has many remaining West Coast friends. She blames The Twitter.)