The Aftermath of Bullying
By nerdyapple on March 14, 2011
Boo is attending a new school, though it was really a hard decision. On one hand, I adored his teachers. And so did he. They are two of the most amazing women especially with children. On the other hand, it was tied to the church that had treated us in a way I found completely unjust. So after much discussion, the Detective and I decided we couldn’t in good conscience keep Boo in that school. If I didn’t feel comfortable being there, how could I send my child there?
So we found another school. And Boo wasn’t happy. He didn’t want to change schools. He didn’t want to leave his teachers. He didn’t want to leave his best friends. We kept him out for a week and a half. He was able to spend some alone time with me (a hot commodity in a family with 3 shorties) and thankfully, fortunately, by the end of that time he was asking to go to his new school.
I officially resigned from the moms’ group that I was coordinator of and revoked our membership from the church. I am without religion. For now at least. Though I am not without faith. I have faith in so many things. You, me, my family, goodness, happiness, kindness. I have faith in those things. Though not church or religion. Not right now. Maybe sometime.
I think Boo is having an easier time adjusting than I am. He is going on different days which throws me off a bit, but mostly I miss my friends. I miss hanging out at drop off or grabbing a coffee or going to one of our houses. I miss watching my son play with his friends. I miss his teachers. I miss my mama friends. I miss the ease with which we could just be together. I miss the way things were.
But I do not regret any of it. I do not doubt myself or my family. I do not have second thoughts.
I realize that some will say this situation was self-inflicted, that I brought it upon us by writing what I wrote. And I agree, partially. I do not believe that we should remain silent about things we find objectionable. Especially big things. Like bullying. I don’t think we have to wait until the bullying gets so bad that it is too late. I don’t believe we wait until someone is emotionally broken or physically wounded, or thinking there is no way out, no help.
I do not believe that anyone should remain silent simply to not rock the boat. The boat is meant to be rocked sometimes. That is how things change, how things become different, how they become better.
Should I have forbidden Boo from being what he wanted to be for Halloween? No.
Should I have smiled and said nothing when people made rude, disapproving comments? No.
Should I have allowed the church to do what it did without making my voice heard? No.
I don’t believe it is okay to stand idly by, and I hope I am teaching my shorties the same thing. There has been much talk about the three groups of people; bullies, victims, and bystanders. I propose a fourth group; those that stand up. Those that allow their voices to be heard, that give a voice to the victims. Those that will take a chance to stop the bullies. Those that will stand up for and stand by the victims. Those that will motivate the bystanders to not stand idly by.Those that will say enough is enough.
I hope that I am in that fourth group.
And I hope that you are too.