In which i have a sore spot ... and win the Nobel Prize
By allfookedup on February 24, 2011
So I have a sore spot on the roof of my mouth. Aren’t things in your mouth irritating? I mean, the minute you have a sore spot in your mouth, your compulsive little tongue takes over and won’t stop messing with it. Now I’m not sure about you, but on a normal day I assume that my tongue is just hanging out in my mouth in a neutral position but the minute something goes wrong, whether it’s a tooth, or I accidentally bite a huge chunk out of my cheek (don’t you hate that?) or in this case, a sore spot on the roof of my mouth, my tongue won’t settle the hell down.
So anyways, this sore spot is way in the back near those two little holes that people have on the roof of their mouth. Or at least I assume you people have those two holes, I mean I have them and I’m pretty sure I have the standard human being equipment. So this is what I was wondering…do you know what those two holes are because I’m pretty sure they’re the drain holes from the nose. And that made me wonder…
Why the hell would I want my nose draining into my mouth anyways? Whose idea was that? If I had shit draining from my nose, wouldn’t the last place I’d like it to go would be down my throat? I mean seriously! No, I’m serious. Why there? Now obviously, when I (or anyone else for that matter) get a stuffed nose, I try to blow my nose and get rid of all the snot but at night, I get a back drip because someone fucked up in the design process of the human body and said let’s send that nasty stuff straight down the nose through the mouth and throat into the stomach.
Food for thought? LITERALLY! Which leads me to suggest a better idea. A spigot! That’s right, there should be some sort of on/off spigot that you can turn that shit off and it doesn’t go down your throat. I mean, I’m tired of back drips. I’m 51 and I’ve had more than my fair share and I think that if the stuff would just stop draining down my throat, then it wouldn’t get sore. It’s just a thought and I haven’t quite worked out the details yet but just the other day, Kevin had a sore throat due to a back drip. I’m thinking Nobel Prize for Science with this idea.
But anyways, back to my sore spot. I don’t actually have a back drip but I do have a sore spot near those two holes on the roof of my mouth. I can only assume that there was some sort of power struggle over what could possibly be allowed to enter my mouth via my nose and the roof of my mouth lost. This must have all happened while I was sleeping, which by the way, wasn’t very restful because I was having all sorts of bad dreams last night.
At any rate, this rambling post has absolutely no point except I have a sore spot which my tongue is compulsively messing it with MAKING IT SORER and I think I’ve come up with a solution that will solve mankind’s back drip issue and possibly bring me to the attention of the Nobel Laureate committee. And who said having a blog couldn’t change the world.