In Which My Daughter Learns the Other Meaning of the Word "Commando"

I think there are a lot of things to consider here. I am 21 and my mom let me buy more or less what I wanted starting when i was about 15. I was very small chested and buying padded or push up bras just made me more comfortable and confident at a time when  a lot of girls feel really insecure. I think once girls hit high school age, if you've raised them to be intelligent independent thinkers, they can make their own choices and hard as it is for parents to let go a bit, your daughters do grow up. And I think instead of necessarily working to mask their sexuality, they should be allowed this harmless outlet to appreciate and celebrate their bodies. I never bought cute bras for anyone but myself--it made me happy and feel pretty to wear these things.

Underwear is always a touchy topic, but I think aside form the obvious (teddies, bustiers, crotchless anything, garter belts etc.) sexy bras and undies are part of being a woman. If you really believe your daughter's choice in undergarments is enough to corrupt her sexual behavior, then you haven't done your job. Yes, it's hard to see your little girl grow up, but if you put too many restrictions on her she'll wonder if she can't be trusted because you think she's incapable--and does that mean she is?  Sexuality and enjoying one's own is part of being a full human being. While I'm certainly not encouraging parents to tell their daughters to treat sex casually, this is a natural thing that develops. A lot of women just like feeling sexy in the things they buy themselves. If you keep trying to stamp that down you'll do more harm than good and your kid will probably rebel anyway.  In the end, it's not a big battle--let her wear what she wants to wear.

So i am a teenager myself, and around the time up until i was about 15 i was not comfortable with myself AT ALL. This includes wearing granny panties because I would wear baggy pants and I figured, "hey, no one will notice!" Anyways, when I started my current job at a clothing store, I had already 'graduated' from baggy clothing, meaning that my underwear had to at least not show as VPLs...

I went in search of such underwear and ended up in VS, where I unfortunately purchased very unbaggy undies, but not thongs. I also ended up getting bigger bras which is really annoying because I was already uncomfortable with growing. Eventually, after working oh so many months at the clothing store, I came to realise that as uncomfortable as thongs are, and as someone who refused to wear them because they were uncomfortable and i thought they made my butt look unneccesarily big, thongs are sometimes just needed for fashion. I would rather put up with the discomfort of a string than the embarassment of knowing people can see my panty lines, and mocking me.

My point is that your daughter must be okay with her own body to wear these undergarments. Push up bras and thongs may be uncomfortable to the wearer, and she may feel pressure to wear them since that's what teenagehood is like, but she needs to understand how she feels good and confidant before she commits to wearing VS undies. You may want to ask her why she wants a push-up bra... maybe its because other girls have them, or she may just want a bigger chest. First things first is to address the reason, then find a solution.

For me, my solution to feeling imporportionate and at times, small or too big compared to other girls, was learning how to look my best, and therefore feel my best. I choose not push up bras because i know that my chest is fine on its own, and I will wear a thong to make my outfit look better. I know when the clothes that i'm wearing make me look good, I feel good. Undies just get my outfit there!

One last point: sometimes the undies come down to how you feel in them. If you feel totally comfortable in old grannie panties, then go for it! But if i've tried hard to dress up nicely for an event, those granny panties will totally ruin my feel-good high! I know no one will see the panties but me, but I know that they make me feel special and good. It's not always the case that girls will wear this underwear so that it can be seen - sometimes they just need the comfort from it.

This was so fitting for me today as yesterday my 3 1/2 year old came out to show me her granny panties pulled up her butt, thong style.  I don't wear them, I have no idea what possessed her.   She will now forever be getting granny panties from me.

And, I have to ask, were there no stores in the mall where the young man could have purchased men's underwear?  Why VS?  Him buying pink heart covered panties for himself to wear was stranger to me than the commando thing (although, I would have been totally embarrassed too.)  

Jessica

You can find me lurking about at Adventures with Three Girls ( http://adventureswiththreegirls.blogspot.com/ )

Serioulsy, I now understand why my mom bought be granny panties all the way through my senior year of High School. Although, I have convinced her to at least by the bikini briefs for my younger sis (now a teen), so she won't get made fun of in the locker room, like I was. But thongs and lacey panties, NO WAY! I had a friend in college whose mom still insisted there was no reason for fancy panties if no one is going to see it. And she fully intended that no one be seeing your panties. Don't think I'll be letting my daughter discover VS for as long as I can help it... maybe when she gets married...at 30.

Melissa at Perry Jayne

Seems a good age to me. Maybe 50? I don't know. I don't like the fact that my girls even have boobs, I don't want to think about them shopping at VS for bras and panties. DAMN THIS WHOLE BUSINESS OF GROWING UP!