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Sparkle (0)
I am so freaking confused right now! There is an ex boyfriend of mine that I have tried to maintain a friendship with and surprise, surprise... it's not working! Oh, there are a ton of reasons why even attempting to be friends was crazy. First of all let me clarify and say that he was more of a friend with benefits whom I was very close to and would even venture to say best friends with but just happened to sleep with on a weekly basis for almost two years. Not a story that I am proud to tell but need to set some background here.
We have maintained a friendship through all of this even though time and time again he is revealed to be a less than honest person. I have given him a million chances, redefined my expectations of him and our friendship and I always got the short end of the stick. For reasons that I'd rather not share yet I had to continue to see him and be around him. He can be a very introspective, intelligent and caring person when we are alone and talking but 24 hours later he can be a manipulative, lying, SOB and I can't stand wondering who he will be on any given day. For my own health, I began to pull myself away from him and our friendship and was met with anger and resentment from him. My indifference seemed to intensify his volatile and rude behavior but I just ignored it and continued to freeze him out of my life.
He is now calling and IMing me. I still have to be around him but limit our discussions to only the neccesary topics. The issue lies in the fact that every now and then I see a snipet of who I believe him to be. Paralleling that with who I KNOW him to be is a constant conflict of my mind and heart. He broke my heart by turning out to be a man who did not deserve my friendship and I can't allow myself to be fooled again.
