Who Gets The Last Word in Your Comments?

...and I love Denise's comment re: a dinner party above. One thing I do appreciate is disclosure when a blogger who typically allows comments decides to close her comments on a topic or issue. Wonderful netiquette.

Of course, as in all things Internet -- advertising, community guidelines, design -- I just can't get behind a universal rule or code.

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder ( http://www.blogher.com/member/lisa-stone )
Surfette ( http://surfette.typepad.com )

BlogHer is non-partisan but our bloggers aren't! Follow our coverage of Politics & News ( http://www.blogher.com/topic/politics-news ).

If blogging in itself had of been more like "Dear Diary" I probably wouldn't have felt so inclined to respond back to comments. However, this is conversational in nature - tips, critiques, deliberation, all of it is what makes it interesting beyond my written word.
I respond via email and on my blog to each person as I consider it an honor that they take the time to read my blog and comment. (my site gets more comments than Blogher does though)
In my experience, people want to be heard. Sometimes leaving dead air after someone speaks (or comments) may leave them feeling under-valued.
Making myself accessible is important, I care about what my readers think and I want them to know that. A one liner or a paragraph can make a person's day, just as a "Hello" or smile can do that on the street. Acknowledgment for each other is never a bad thing, it's what makes community.
Thanks for the post, always enjoy your thoughts :)

So I've been trying to avoid responding to comments on this post but it's making me itchy.

Thank you all for a rich discussion, making great points and for giving me lots of food for thought. I appreciate each of your comments and thank you for sharing them.

BlogHer Contributing Editor ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/maria-niles )
PopConsumer ( http://consumerpop.typepad.com/popconsumer )
Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

My blog is newish, and I do respond to each commenter. Each day I get a few more commenters than the day before, so that may change if there gets to be too many to keep up with. (I hope, I hope!)

For me, I like the idea of the blog feeling like a community, and by me responding to their comments, and other people answering other commenters inquiries, we are building that community. Each blog is different though, and what works for one might not work for another. 

Diane

lost 150 pounds and talks about it at:

www.fittothefinish.com/blog ( http://www.fittothefinish.com/blog )

I'm not sure commenters know whether or not they got the "last word" a lot of the time... unless they keep the box checked that says, "email me when someone else comments", they probably don't come back and therefore don't know if they got the last word.

I do respond in the comments section when there's a question, but I have taken to emailing lately, too.  I know it makes me feel good when a blogger shoots me a quick "thanks for stopping by" and I'm more likely to visit them again if they do, so when I have some time, I do it too.

Erin

The Single Rider ( http://TheSingleRider.com ) - about being single

My Mobile Adventures *~*~* ( http://MyMobileAdventures.com ) - mobile/photo blogging

( http://TheSingleRider.com )

Like Sassy Monkey, and though it may be hard for some people who see me responding on BlogHer to believe, I go through moods and spells of responding.  I try to respond because the "experts" keep saying we should engage our readers to build community and platform. Sometimes, however, I feel I'm falling into excessive form without function when I respond to every comment, even the "Hey, nice post" comment, however I've sometimes made a point to say thank you for reading.

If someone's responding to what I wrote and misrepresenting what I said in the post, I think I should respond, but the art of that is to learn the difference between hecklers/trolls versus people who want genuine engagement and are sincere. I've learned not to respond in any serious fashion to the same people who come back and make the same statement they made last week just worded differently with "challenges" for me to to defend my position again on stuff they could get from a History for Dummies book. Not enough hours in the day for that nonsense.

There are some blogs, like Field Negro ( http://field-negro.blogspot.com ), that people read as much for the craziness in the comments section as they do for the main posts. I read them but I would never never want to be the moderator. I don't think he does any moderation.

On my now dead Jersey Goddess blog I went for more than a year not allowing comments after being repeatedly attacked by some good ole southern KKK sympathizers. Probably would not take the no comments road today.

Nordette Adams ( http://www.bookotopia.com ) is a BlogHer CE ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... ) & you can find her other stuff through Her 411 ( http://her411.com ).

Since my Expat Mum blog is fairly humorous, I feell I can chime in with comments from time to time. It also makes the comment stream go on for longer and become more entertaining. I never really thought about it in terms of a message it sends to the commentors.

On the blog I co-host, Pond Parleys (http://pondparleys.blogspot.com ( http://pondparleys.blogspot.com/ )) we deliberately post debate questions that are meant for discussion. Very often however, we get a fairly argumentative commentor who is just determined to pick a fight. I often go back with either a clarification of what I actually said, or a comment to further my argument. I once had to resort to the Delete button as a commentor became too abusive for my personal comfort. I wouldn't have had that person in my house and s/he wasn't welcome on my blog!

I'm in a strange situation on First 50 Words ( http://first50.wordpress.com/ ). I want people to comment. The comments are really the blood and breath of that blog. It isn't about what I write—it's about the comments.

At the same time, the blog uses the principles of writing practice, which means you don't respond to what other people write with critique or praise.

The most I do there is occasionally thank everyone who participates for writing with me.

Virginia DeBolt
BlogHer CE ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/virginia-debolt )
Web Teacher ( http://www.webteacher.ws/ )
First 50 Words ( http://first50.wordpress.com/ )

I have all of my comments e-mailed to me so I can respond personally and thank people for commenting. However, I generally don't respond within the comments section of my blog. I feel that that approach gives my commenters the public last word and any further correspondence via e-mail is up to them.

On a public forum, ie on a forum that I don't own/control, I try to respond to as many comments that I receive as possible. I don't always succeed, partly because sometimes I do that think where I've replied in my head and forget to do in reality. (I do the same thing about contacting people too. I will compose emails to friends in my head and then it takes me days to realize that I never actually did write the email. Ha!)

On my personal blogs it varies. I go through periods where I'm really, really good at responding to each person's comments and times when I'm not. Yep, I'm inconsistent. But at least I'm aware of it, right?

Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca/ ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca/ ).

Picture yourself sitting in a restaurant, at a table with a group of folks. You say something, a lot of something, really powerful, funny, interesting, informative... something.

Everyone at the table comments on what you said... while you sit there silently.

Would you do that? Would you also put in earplugs so you couldn't hear what those folks said about that big thing you said? Because if you don't acknowledge a comment in some way, does the person who said it know that you looked at it?

However, there are some online communities where the folks in the comments are the real owners of the community. For them, it's not so much about the introductory post and article, it's about who is in the comments discussing (debating?) If that's the kind of community that you have, by all means don't comment. ;-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

I don't respond to comments unless they're questions.  But I think this is one of those questions where there is no right answer.  If you don't respond, people feel ignored.  If you make someone go back to read a "thanks for taking the time to respond" kind of response, then they get annoyed because you've wasted their time by making them come back to read something that isn't all that important.

I think this one comes down to personal style.  As long as you're consistent about how you respond (or don't), your regular readers will get to know how you do things, and will know what to expect.